


Like Waves on Sand

by IrishN



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Eventual Smut, F/M, Historical, M/M, mermaid au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-08-14 14:10:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 74,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20193556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrishN/pseuds/IrishN
Summary: Eren kicked down with his legs, meeting no resistance. There was no bottom, no up or down. Bubbles rushed by his face as he clawed through the water, searching for anything he could hang onto.A hand grabbed his.





	1. Chapter 1

Eren stared as salt water dripped into his eyes and into his mouth.

"You're beautiful."

He didn’t remember meaning to say that on purpose, only that it came out anyway. He was sitting back on his hands, still drenched with saltwater, the mer having just helped him up onto shore. It was still there, hands on either side of Eren’s feet, holding his torso out of the water. Small grey scales overlapped and threw off small glints of color in reflection of the sunlight. They trailed in pattern over the man’s shoulders, down his upper back and arms and bordering thin, lethal ridges that protruded from the mer’s forearms. His arms flexed and relaxed as the mer stabilized himself on the rocks while the water rocked him forward every so often. Those lethal nails, looking like spears of onyx on the ends of those long delicate fingers, were digging little gouges into the grit of the basalt that made up the rocky shoreline of the area. And his eyes; deadly. Eren couldn’t look away.

The corner of the mer's mouth curled down, eyes narrowed. He turned around and seemed to be preparing to swim away, rapidly. Eren panicked. His arms shot out, grabbing the man on anything he could hold onto. _No, not yet. Don't leave._ His hands closed around a forearm.

The mer's body spasmed, spinning around, arms sliding out of Eren's hold suspiciously easy with a wet rip. Panic, hissing. Eyes wide. Pulled off balance, Eren fell into the water. Bubbles rushed by his face from something solid and powerful and grey.

Hands grabbed his shoulders under his armpits, and Eren’s head broke the waterline, gasping. He was being held against Levi's chest, Levi holding onto him with one arm above the water and against his body, the other roughly wiping Eren's hair from his face.

Eren looked at Levi, face inches from each other. Gone is the frown - well, not gone, but replaced with wide eyes, concerned eyes. A look of confusion passed over the mer’s face, just for a fleeting moment, quickly returning to a scowl. Eren was still sputtering as Levi swam both of them back over to land, almost throwing him back up. He tried pushing himself up, hands weirdly clumsy, as another coughing fit overtook him. His hands didn’t curl right; he laid them slack on his lap, noticing a single cut lining up over the two palms, blood still leaking. A clean slice, right through his old shucking knife scar on that right palm, this time near to the bone. Small pebbles and dirt were in the cut from landing on the hand.

He swished his arms in the sea water, inviting a stinging sensation to settle in his palms. Levi was backing away again in the water, slowly this time, still looking at Eren's hands.

"Levi."

Levi's eyes widened, looking back at him. The water around stilled. The weirdest feeling passed over Eren then, something.. alive. Something slipping into his own head, like an eel into a bowl.

_How do you know my name?_

Levi seemed to be still, the water turning silent currents around his torso the only mention that his tail was moving, keeping him above the water. The thought that had invaded his mind wasn’t his, spoken with someone else’s voice. Eren was looking into Levi's eyes, feeling what he could only assume was Levi's mind touching his. Slippery, nothing to hold onto, but so warm and so incredibly intimate. Eren felt like he should feel violated; he only felt dizzy. Levi's eyes had not moved from his own for what felt like an eternity, seeming to search inside them for something.

The link was broken, the silence cut as Eren’s lungs spasmed; he coughed, hacking up more water. Regaining his breath, Eren spoke.

"You, um, told me once. I fell off a boat a couple miles from here. Up the river mouth over there."

Eren tried pointing to his right, and pain shot into his hand again. He let them fall back into his lap awkwardly. Levi’s mind was still rubbing against his, searching, prodding. It felt, well, euphoric really. That sensation of mind, of consciousness, whatever it was, seemed to shift, rolling inside Eren’s head. Eren could only explain it as a color change, from a deep blue to orange, lighting up, becoming more energetic. Recognition flashed in Levi’s eyes.

"You do remember me! I fell off the boat.." Eren grinned. "You're real, I wasn't imagining you-"

_You're lying._ The water churned, and Levi's tail snapped some water into the air, agitated.

"What, no- why would I lie about that- Levi, wait-"

The warmth of Levi's mind was leaving his, receding back. Eren reached out with his own, trying desperately to grab onto anything, which was about as helpful as grabbing onto… well, a fish underwater. Levi's head dipped into the sea, and he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Levi couldn't stop hearing that song. It would skip across the water, echoing off the rocks below him. The cheery tune followed him everywhere. The boy apparently lived near the water, or was really fucking persistent. Levi could hear him daily, whistling the same fucking song, over and over. And once, he woke up thinking he had heard someone call his name, though that happened sometimes. The ocean did speak occasionally, whispering things at night, just below hearing. 

Even though he had heard sailor songs before, he couldn't remember the name of that tune. Their ships would pass by, like whales coasting in the water, serenely. He'd learned to be wary around them; apparently one mermaid had been suddenly decapitated from an anchor drop. But that was near land, and only near the port some miles away, where 3rd battalion lived. Plenty of mer lived there; nice high ground for fighting, reefs for food. The caves were too small for Titans to reach inside, lucky bastards. The waters were warm, and of course, there was the safety of numbers. However, it just so happens that it was also the highest activity of Titan landfall, as almost all the humans lived near the port. Ships were coming in and out all the time, slicing through the water with happy, whistling sailors scrambling on deck, freshly fucked and fed and ready to go to work. The ships that came in, too; whistling, ready for beer. Too fucking happy.

Levi always hated the sound of land people. Fucking singing. Whistling. Did they not know that people were dying? That people were getting eaten and died or just died for ridiculous fucking reasons. Life is cruel and it takes so much, and people still sang and... whistled. What a joke.

Though he supposed it wasn't much better down here. All the mer talking for days. Just bitching and moaning about their lives.  _ What are you fucking complaining about? _ The mer living in the inlet, with their caves and outgoing ocean currents. Levi lived with few other mer, away from the city - little Titan activity, but sorely outnumbered when they did coming swimming around the area. They all rested near the rocky shoreline, a couple kilometers from the port to the southwest. They lived right out in the open, a handful of mer always on a rotating watch for anything wanting to eat them, whether Titans or the small assortment of animals confusing them with food.

You could still hear the mer to the north, though, even so far away, and a voice separated from the constant din of noise floating in. Levi had been irritated all day, swimming up and down the coastline, not even really sure what he was doing. He was just... agitated. He couldn't get that boy out of his head. It.. it couldn't have been him. Fucking ridiculous. He stopped now, listening.

_ For the last time, why don't we build a wall? I'm telling you, they won't be able to climb over. If we make it high enough, they would dry out-  _

Another voice projected through the water.  _ Okay, go ahead. Tell me how you're gonna build a fucking wall. _

_ Well, the humans on land have nets... We could haul - _ The voice seemed new, not to mention that Levi had heard all these panicked suggestions before.

_ Yes, let's just pop our heads above the water, Schmidt. 'Oh hey, cheers, just wondering could you possibly give us some bricks?' Then, while we're living in fantasy land, after the people on land don't run away at the sight of us, we bring the bricks and lay them and cement them with what? WHAT? Fish semen? So shut the fuck up, Schmidt, we can't build a fucking wall. _

The first voice again, desperate.  _ Well, what do we - _

_ We fight.  _ The second voice seemed to sigh, tired. Levi felt that in his bones.  _ We do what we always do. We fight. We die. _

* * *

  
  


Levi remembers that time, out in the middle of the ocean. Why had he come out here anyway? He had swam away from the shore, out into deep ocean. He had told himself he wanted to see what it was like. He was supposed to be overseeing Hange's "training". Fancy saying for teaching people to not get eaten. He swam out, further than he had ever gone before, especially alone, until the shore was nowhere to be seen, the temperature of the water dropping by several degrees. He could feel the current pulling gently to the right; it flowed south, once you got out into open water. He dived, down past the light filtering through the waves kicked up by the wind above. Down into the nothingness below. Ears popping, bubbles rolled out and around his face through his nose as he adjusted to the deep.

There was nothing down here; no noise, no light. Nothing to see, nothing to notice. A black void, all encompassing and without end. He floated there, unable to tell the difference between his eyes opened or closed, and stopped trying, relaxing his whole body, letting his thoughts drift. His mind felt as if it was expanding; the feeling of skin or even body stretched and twisted, flattened, until there was nothing left. He felt as big as the ocean, his own essence of individuality ebbing out, diluting into the water. No body, and nobody. Emptiness and fullness; as only empty and as full as the sea can be. The line between skin and water disappeared.

He still couldn't remember how long he floated in that void. Thoughts would float in, then out of his head. Some memories settled, persistent - of him as a kid, running around with a carved wooden fish, up in the air, a wooden flying fish among the clouds. The dune grass rustled behind him, and over there, the tide pools and the crabs that clicked over black stone and those crazy looking flat centipedes that didn't move and the black spiked urchins that the grown ups went crazy over, but Levi thought tasted gross. The waves catching those miniature blow holes in the rock and shooting water into the air. Levi would sit under those sometimes and let the water rain down on him, giggling as the chilly spray hit his face. 

Another memory - his legs, stuck straight into the sky at night. His mom was there by his side, fingers running lightly through his hair while he tried to push the night sky higher with his feet. Little pinpricks of starlight winked on and off through his toes. He tried drawing constellations with his toe; his foot cramped up, and he dropped them both into the sand. His mother's laugh, too, he still remembered that. Ruffling his hair a little more, and standing to go inside, where uncle Kenny was chopping onions for dinner. It got cold at night, the wind and mist blowing off that chilly ocean. 

Hands grabbed his shirt, pulling him forward, and Levi jerked, eyes flying open. The raw sensation of falling brought his mind squarely back into his body, feeling once more arms and tail and head. His arms clutched to his chest: nothing, no shirt, no hands grabbing him. Just the same dream as always.

That panic sensation wasn't fading, though. Levi straightened, looking around in futility. The black was so thick he wasn't even sure his eyes were open. His skin crawled, spine fin flexing open and closed.

_ A Titan. _

He had told himself that he wanted to come out here to die. When did he fucking say that? Of course he didn't want to die. Didn't seem pretty obvious now though, coming out here alone. Still seemed pretty fucking suicidal.

Opening his eyes did nothing down here in the blackness, even with his vision. Fuck. It must've sensed someone was nearby, that he was nearby. He swung his arms around in an arc - nothing.  _ Of course that doesn't mean anything _ , he thought.  _ If it was that close I would be dead already. Fuck, fuck, fuck. _ He had lost track of what was up. He needed to get to sunlight, but had no idea where to swim.  _ Pick a direction - no, I might end up swimming down. _

The adrenaline was fogging his reasoning skills. Sunlight, go up, but where the fuck is up?

A giant mass slammed into him just then, knocking his ribs into his spine and sending him a ways. He immediately took off in that direction, just to get away and gain him some precious seconds.

_ Fuck. Fuck! _ If he had bubbles - oh wait, yes he did. Some air was always sitting in his lungs, for buoyancy’s sake. He let out a little... and nothing. Nothing to see, nothing to feel.

_ God damn it, I'm such an idiot. _

He put his hand over his mouth, letting out some air again. Almost out. This time, he felt the bubbles rush through his hands, presumably on their way to the surface.

_ Up. I'm facing up. I need to go forward. _

He started swimming forward just as the mass crushed into him again, less hard as he feels fingers closing around his torso. Levi spun, forearms slicing through flesh and tendons. The fingers slackened for a moment, allowing Levi to dart forward again. Swimming hard, blowing out air so his gut didn't burst with the decreased water pressure, and - ah, there. Light. So close. A couple hundred meters to the surface at this point. 

Levi turned back around, able to see his hands again. A Titan seemed to appear from nowhere, swimming out of the black, hands slack by its sides, legs kicking ridiculously. Mouth always open.

Levi felt his hair tugged with the current, and looked toward his home. It was several kilometers away, and Levi could only see the wide expansive blue of the open ocean. He debated swimming for safety, grabbing some others to help fight. 

_ No _ . He turned back around, facing down.  _ This is my problem. _

He waited, letting the Titan lurch forward awkwardly, getting within range. One of its eyes was fixated on him, the other rolling around aimlessly in its socket. Levi lunged.

Fins open, he allowed the Titan to grab for him as he rolled up and around, arms creating a shield around body and churning the water with blood and tissue as they sliced through the Titans hand and arm, right up to the head. So close to one of the eyes, he reached out and grabbed the right eye with his nails, pulling the wretched thing out of the Titan's skull.

He bolted up, trying to get out of eating range, and felt another hand grab him by the tail, yanking him downwards. That was a mistake - Levi was within distance again, and he went for the other eye. Claws, digging, reaching all the way to the cord behind the orb. Squeezing, gouging out, not that the monsters felt pain. The hand around his lower body slacked as the Titan, missing both eyes, was freed from its accursed life. 

Levi swam a ways, looking back, searching for any others that might have followed, but the water was empty, save the now floating corpse. This one was smaller than others he had encountered; skin pale, stretched too tight over bony prominences in awkward places. Short, stocky fingers, like those on chubby newborns. It had probably been asleep in the depths of the ocean for however long before sensing Levi. He smacked his forehead, setting up a nice throbbing headache. He deserved it. Levi turned, swimming toward land, leaving the corpse floating slowly down to settle on the bottom of the ocean.

* * *

  
  
  


Levi opened his eyes in the present time. He had apparently been floating in dead water, like a fucking idiot, bringing back stupid memories. He gripped his spear tighter, then relaxed. He wasn't in the mood for hunting anymore, irritated both by the unnecessary throwback, and the faint whisper of his name, repeated on loop.

_ Levi. _

It didn't even seem intentional. It was like the man had a loose fucking head, seeming to leak out everything he thought. This had been going on for weeks now. How did he get anything done while he was constantly talking to himself in that melon? Levi bet if he shook Eren's head a bit too hard, his brain would slide out his ears.

_ Levi. _

Seriously. Eren - it was the same fucking name as, well. What is the coincidence? Not much, given that this was the same place, pretty much, where he found him. And those eyes; they were exactly the same. Exactly the same shade of emerald, green as the day is long, with gold flecks under those serious brows. He apparently grew ten fucking meters in the last decade, but still generally looked the same.

Fuck. How was that kid alive?

_ Levi. _

_ I mean, good on him.  _ Levi's tail slashed through the water, hands clenching. He accidentally cut his palm open with a talon, and automatically took it to his mouth, licking absently.  _ I mean, good. Really. _ Levi frowned.  _ But how? _

There was movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned to see Hange swimming over, strong tail easily closing the distance. She had turned a couple months ago, and even though Levi was supposed to be "mentoring" her or some bullshit, she was fucking capable of taking care of herself. Her arms spread and she closed the last of the distance to capture Levi into a big hug.

_ Levi, what the fuck.  _ Hange tightened her arms, almost crushing Levi. _ I thought you had a stroke and died. Why were you floating there like a statue?  _ She grabbed the back of his head while he flailed his arms in futility, mashing his face to her naked chest and almost breaking his nose.  _ What would I do without you? _

He snarled, pushing her away, her face still wearing a wide grin. Levi raised his arms, stretching, trying to reinflate his crushed internal organs, then looked down to the floor where Hange had made him drop his spear.  _ Asshole. And anyway,  _ swimming down and back up, spear in hand again, y _ ou'd do so much better without me. _

Hange pouted.  _ Yeah but who would I save if you were gone? _ She grabbed his elbow, and leaned to him conspiratorially, ridiculous since she couldn't lower her projected voice even if she tried. Hange’s words carried for miles, every time she talked. In a voice just as loud:  _ Tongues are wagging, captain. _

_ We literally don't talk with our mouths. _

_ Tongues wag, Levi. People been talking. They hear that guy up on shore with his daily yodeling. _

Levi glowered at her. Her eyebrows danced, her eyes on fire, evil delight dancing inside.  _ You trying to recruit? _

He frowned for real.  _ Hange, you know I wouldn't fucking do that. _

She put her hands up then, shrugging.  _ Yeah I know, but, well. How many we got nearby, now? We're down to, well, there's our group, near the cliffs and to the south. That's what, 100? After last week, losing Ada and the others, around 95, maybe 98 now? We should hire a bookkeeper to write down- _

_ Hange. Stop. Seriously. Erwin will send us more, just like always. And anyway, we don't have enough spots to hold more people. You know that. _

They both start swimming slowly north; Hange took Levi's arm, wrapping it around her own. Hange waved her other hand around aimlessly.  _ We could be like, farming right now. I know how much you wanted to be a farmer when you finally grew up. _

_ No. _

_ You keep telling me all the time, 'Hange, I'm gonna beat up all these Titans and I'm gonna become the best barnacle farmer' - _

_ No, I don't. _

_ \- 'and I'm gonna get so famous and like, own a house and shit, like gold walls and like a statue of my tiny ass self' - _

He pointed at her with his free hand _ . Yeah, no, I remember saying that, actually. _

_ \- 'and I'm gonna trade all my gold to the people on land for shit like, idk, potatoes.'  _ Hange made a face.  _ God, nevermind, that would be awful. Could you imagine eating potatoes underwater? No butter, either. Worthless. _

She peered at him from the corner of her eye, not that he noticed. He was still lost in thought. Then fainter, he heard it again, just a whisper. 

_ Levi. _

He turned around, gripping onto the spear handle, feeling the wood protest.  _ He needs to fucking stop. It's getting annoying. _

Hange vibrated, lips pursed together, looking suspiciously as if she was laughing.  _ What did you do to the poor boy? _

He sighed, rubbing his face. _ Unfortunately, I saved his ass from drowning. Should've let him, too. _

_ You don't mean that. _

A large flat area, raised above the rest of the ocean floor, surrounded by large boulders that had fallen from the cliff face above. Within the ring of the natural border was a large sandy ground with different mer milling about. Most had gone for the day, out hunting for food. They passed by the guards posted around the area, and settled lightly on the sand below, letting out some bubbles of air so they wouldn’t float away.

_ Oh hey, look at we found. _ Hange pointed above to a cluster of barrels bobbing on the surface about 20 meters away, tied together and anchored directly to the side of the cliff. 

_ What are those? _

Hange grinned wide.  _ Wine. _ Levi raised his eyebrows.  _ They floated in from high sea this morning while you were off staring at a wall.  _

_ It was an interesting wall.  _

_ Still, _ Hange frowned.  _ There’s no real way to access them. We don’t have any crowbars lying around, do we? _

_ So we can dip our whole heads into them? _

Hange stared up at the barrels, silent for a while.  _ How disappointing. _

_ Yeah, just like everything else down here. Speaking of, did anyone go grab some of that mackerel that was passing by? _

_ We caught a few, yeah. _

He lowered his eyebrows. _ Just a few? _

_ I brought mostly the newer mer with me. I wanted to teach them how to hunt.  _

Levi sighed, rubbing his face.  _ Jesus Hange, let's just starve the rest.  _

_ They were busy. Most of them are on patrol or on guard. _

He gave up. There was no arguing they needed more people just to survive. There’s only so much you can do with scarce resources, and you needed people to bring in those resources. 

  
He mentally sighed once again, more of a habit than an actual need for inhaling deeply.  _ So. Seaweed for dinner again? _


	3. Chapter 3

Eren’s hands felt like uncured leather - tight, inflexible. He could barely shuck oysters, much less sew anything. His hands refused to clench, unless he was in the water, and then they stung to high heaven. But at least he could move his fingers - well, his right pointer finger wouldn't bend. So he volunteered to be oyster diver that week, and the week after that, thankful to have an excuse not to be mending nets. He loved working in the water, couldn’t imagine any other way of living, really. His hands really did feel better under the water, even with the salt, and he blamed his lengthy days out at sea on this. 

But he knew in the back of his mind - he was searching for  _ him _ . He would call out sometimes, near the water.  _ Maybe he’d hear me _ . He stopped after a couple days, feeling a bit stupid. Levi probably didn’t even live near here. But it couldn’t be a coincidence a second time. Levi was there that day, all those years ago. It had to have been him. He looked so similar; those grey eyes framed by black hair. In place of legs, the grey scaled tail of a mer.  _ Tail.  _ He had seen another mer again. Eren had convinced himself for a bit that he had dreamed of the mer person, hallucinating in his fear and panic as a child. He certainly didn’t tell anyone, not about before and not about this time either.

Weeks passed. His hands healed, fresh pink scars, two symmetrical lines over his palms. He had taken out the suture a couple days ago - they were hurting more than helping, he assumed. Hurt like a bitch to pull out, too. Less, though, than putting them in. Armin had done that; good solid netting handiwork, so he was the one that did all the sewing work for the cuts in that place. 

They had asked what happened when he walked back into the fishing house. He told them he slipped, climbing up the cliff face and grabbed a razor edge of a rock. They had believed him - plenty of people were injured, some even falling to their deaths, climbing for puffin eggs. They were delicious with some rosemary that grows wild on the cliff face, and  _ oh damn, _ put some salmon in those scrambled eggs. A feast for kings. Dangerous to get, but so tempting.

Eren couldn't get a song out of his head. Maybe something he had heard a sailor or a fisherman singing, some shanty tune about sending some drunk guy off alone to the ocean in a boat. Mikasa and Armin kept trying to get him to come to the new ale house in town. Normally he would’ve taken them up on it; for some reason now, it just irritated him.

Eren skipped a rock he had been palming into the waves. He realized just now he had been standing there, staring off into the distance for some time.

Why didn't he want to go? Eren saw a bigger rock the size of his fist, picking it up and chucking it as far as he could. He sat down, letting the water swirl around his legs, reaching his ass, caressing his feet as it left again. The waves were always different, and somehow both fleeting and eternal. He scratched at the sand, marking it with nonsense.

"Hey."

Eren started; Mikasa had come out of nowhere, just like always. He frowned and looked back out over the water.

"I thought you were in town."

"I came to see how you were. You're always hanging around the water recently."

Eren laughed. "That's what we do. That's literally our job."

Mikasa sat down at arms length, rolling up her loose sleeves and scooped her hands into the damp sand. She started patting together a small cylinder out of the pile.

"You used to like coming out with us."

"Of course I like going to town with you guys."

Mikasa shrugged. They sat listening to the ocean rolling over the beach as she methodically patted together a new cylinder of sand, and a wall between the two. Even dug out some little holes for archers and sentries to look out from with her finger, and a door facing the ocean. Eren leaned over and dug a moat around the thing to keep the next wave from obliterating her work. It seemed less precise than Mikasa’s own handiwork. Eren straightened, propping his forearms on his knees and his chin on both, pointedly looking out over the water while Mikasa stared at him.

"I understand if you don't want to tell Shadis, but-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Eren replied, a bit more forcefully than he meant. Mikasa sat up straighter, watching the sun burn a hole in the horizon.

"Okay, that's what I was going to say. It's okay if you don't." She looked at Eren again. "Those cuts weren't from the cliffs, were they."

Eren looked down the beach. Sandpipers were running up and down, following the waves, picking up bits from the sand as the water receded. Little beach clams would struggle to bury themselves again after each wave, bubbles rising to the surface behind them. Eren closed his eyes, feeling the wind threading through his hair, like small fingers running by his face, down the back of his neck. He opened his eyes to the last sliver of the sun disappearing below the horizon.

Mikasa had found some sticks and were placing them upright, giving her sand towers some flag posts. She spoke as she worked. "Did you get in a bar fight again?" 

Eren turned to her, laughing. "What? Of course not. I don't do that anymore, and anyway I'm tired of paying damages to Leeland, you know how fucking hard it is to get those mussels he likes."

Mikasa shrugged. Eren watched her build her sand towers for a while before turning back to the ocean; he sighed and turned back.

In a hushed whisper: "Mikasa, seriously, I'll tell you only if you keep my secret."

She shrugged again.

"I'm fucking serious, I don't want to be thrown out. I won't have anywhere to go."

She looked at him, expressionless. "Of course I won't tell anyone."

He flipped his hands over on his knees, staring at the cuts on his palms. "I… saw a mer the other day, weeks past.” Mikasa didn’t move, and he continued. “When I cut my hands. I had been walking on the rocks and I slipped and, yeah you're gonna mock me but when I fell in the water, I panicked. I was caught off guard, okay. Almost drowned. Yes, like a fucking idiot. He happened to… be there."

Mikasa was silent for a moment, then: "Have you been drinking that poppy milk again?" She scooted closer to him, hands grabbing his collar. "Because otherwise you'd know to not. Fuck. With the mer people." Her face was centimeters from his, grip getting tighter and tighter, knuckles painfully pressing into his collarbones.

"Jesus, Mikasa, he didn't do anything. He actually fucking saved me." Her tight grip was too much, and he tried shoved her arms away, Mikasa letting go and then immediately grabbing his collar again. She shook him a little.

"What if he grabbed you?” Her voice was getting louder and louder. “Dragged you down and drowned you? What then? Just fucking leaving Armin and me, none of knowing if you'd died or just ran away like last time? What do we do then?"

"I don't know! Okay?" Mikasa's hands loosened as he kept talking. "Seriously, he didn't really seem intent on sticking around. And he looked... familiar, too."

"Of course he looked familiar.” She grabbed his collar forcefully again, shaking him. "You're so fucking stupid sometimes, Eren. Talk about suicidal. So tell me, how'd you really break your hands then? Tell me I haven't been feeding you for weeks because you were out messing around with a demon."

Eren winced. "He might've, well, it was my fault, I grabbed his arm - "

Mikasa slapped him. He looked back at her, shock on his face. 

“That fucking hurt!” 

She let go and stood up, her finger in his face. "One day you're gonna get yourself into a pile of shit that I can't pull you out of."

* * *

  
  


Eren had been pearl diving since sunrise, the monotonous work letting his mind free up, letting it float alone the currents of the water - up, for air, down, for oysters. Up, down, and floating in between. He dumped the netted contents of his dive sack onto the rocks above with each surface, taking care not to get slammed into the same rocks with the waves - that always hurt and sometimes broke bones. But under the surface, under the surface it was calm. Eren could hold his breath on par with the older divers; it had taken time, time for his body to get as big as it would get, and then more time to learn how to calm his mind. Not to panic when you felt the urge to breathe kick in, throat tightening, heart rate elevating. Minutes now, he could be down here for minutes, but it felt.. infinite. Floating in the water, no sound, no breath to keep the time.

Shapes moved in the water to the left, kicking him out of his trance. He had been floating, hadn't dived down yet, his bag still empty. He turned to the disturbance, where massive, bodiless shadows twisted in the water. They were too far away to make out, and Eren still went rigid.

_ Titans. _

As if they had heard his thoughts, the two shadows came closer, materializing into physical beings from the shadow of the water. They moved through the water lazily, kicking, swimming like kids that had learned just that day, their sickly white tissue moving under see-through skin. Flat grey spherical eyes wandered aimlessly around in their skulls which were depressed in random areas. The one closer to Eren and coming fast must've been 10, 15 meters long; as big as sperm whales. Their mouths hung open, bits of decaying tissue dragging in the water between teeth made for grinding. 

Still, they came closer, eyes suddenly snapping onto his location. Eren was unable to move his arms; he had forgotten about them, watching the giants near. Eren heard his dad's voice running over and over in his head,  _ that's why we don't swim in the sea, son. That's why we don't swim in the sea, son _ . 

A streak of black flashed from the right, and a spear sprouted from the Titan’s shoulder. Eren looked, dumbfounded, as another shadow, infinitely faster than the two giants were, raced by him. Eren tried to follow with his gaze, almost too fast for his sight. The form split into two, and they both stopped. Eren exhaled before he could stop himself, bubbling rolling around his head.

_ Levi. _

The mer next to Levi lunged at the nearest Titan, faster than Eren could keep up with. The Titan’s right eye disappeared in a spray of blood. Another flash of movement, and the mer stopped, struggling in vain as the Titan had apparently reached out, grabbing the mer by his torso.

A shout rang out in Eren’s head that was not his own.  _ Levi, now! _

Eren had been so focused on watching the struggle, he hadn’t been watching the second Titan. He looked for it, where it floated dead in the water, two holes where its eyes had been. Levi had swam quickly back near Eren, floating in front of him, just a few meters away, back turned to Eren and facing the fight.

The tip of his tail twitched then, seeming to disappear entirely as he lunged for the Titan’s eyes. The Titan’s free hand shot out, but Levi was faster, swinging his arm in a punching motion towards the Titan’s face. Dark grey liquid ballooned out in the water, and the second Titan went limp next to the first. The other mer struggled out of the Titan’s fist, swimming away somewhat slower now.

The two mermen swam in a slow arc around the two bodies, watching. Eren couldn't hold it any longer. He burst out of the water, gasping for air.  _ Why had I stayed there? Why didn't I run?  _ He dived again when his breathing evened out. Levi and the other Mer were still there, waiting for movement. None came. The Titans were floating dead in the water, their eyes torn open by Levi. Eren swam back down to them, and Levi turned to him, mouth curving down, then turned back to the Titan corpses.

_ Go away.  _

This time he couldn't feel Levi, but could hear the words, clear as spoken on land. They seemed to be in his head, but not. Almost projected through the water somehow. A voice outside his head speaking in. Eren tried speaking back in kind. 

_ No _ . 

It felt weird, like he was speaking loudly to himself in his mind. It seemed to work, though, as Levi turned back around, eyebrows raised. 

_ Get lost. Or do you want me to make a third corpse today? _

Eren’s anger flared, and he swam over to Levi, who had turned his back on him once more. He grabbed Levi’s upper arm, yanking him upwards. The mer glared at him, following rapidly to the surface.

_ What do you want? _

Eren was treading water, arms swirling to keep the waves from pushing him closer to the razor-sharp rocks near the shore. Levi seemed not to move, having no trouble with the rocking of the waves.

"Can you even talk? Out loud?"

Levi’s frown deepened, answering. “Of course I can talk, human. It’s just a bit fucking ridiculous underwater.” His voice seemed low, rough, unused. Levi paused for a second.

“How are your hands?”

Eren stared at him in confusion. “What?” He had forgotten about his palms by now. “Oh, um, fine, still there and everything.”

Levi looked down, watching Eren’s hands swirl around his body, keeping afloat. That glare softened a little. It looked like the sun rising to Eren.  _ Look at that. Look at it. _

Levi looked back up to Eren’s face, then.. he was gone, dropping back under the water. A bolt of panic shot through Eren’s chest. He gulped in a lungful of air and dived after him. 

_ Levi. Levi! _

_ WHAT?? _ Levi whipped around, tail sending an arc of current slicing through the water, rushing past Eren.

_ I… oh God, you can hear me?  _ Confusion once more. Eren still swam toward Levi, who had already dived several dozen meters in a matter of seconds.

_ I want to fight the Titans. I want to fight. _

Eren blinked, and Levi's face was right in front of his, forearm pressed lightly against his neck. Eren could feel a string of pain; in the corner of his eye, a small line of blood rapidly evaporated into the water. The other Mer was still further off, watching silently.

Levi hovered for another second, then his arm lowered, his expression unreadable. This was now the second time Eren had seen him up close - so close he could see the light reflect off dark blue in what he had assumed were grey irises. A pouty lower lip sat beneath that seemingly permanent downward curve of mouth, and there, on his neck, a faint pulsing of blood in the small capillaries in the slits in Levi's neck. 

Eren could see Levi’s forearm more clearly as he pulled it away from Eren’s neck; a frankly terrifying bone-like ridge protruded from the outer edge of the arm, acting like a sword that could slice flesh cleaner than a fillet knife. Levi’s hands came to rest on his hips, or where his hips would have been. Small scales dimpled under those long, delicate fingers, those scales slowly becoming larger as they transitioned down over his lower body, ending in a flat tail fluke that gently swayed, keeping movement in time with the ocean.

Eren looked up as Levi’s arms changed to crossing at his chest, Levi’s frown deepening by the second.

_ You need to learn to shut the fuck up. _

_ What? But I wasn't saying anything. _ This was weird, trying to talk outside his mind. Pushing the words from in to out.

_You're gifted, I'll tell you that. Usually it takes someone weeks to be able to be heard by other people, but you can't seem to fucking stop it. _Levi's words came so clearly, able to be heard so precisely. It was disconcerting, since his lips never moved, face unchanged from a scowl.

Eren was running out of air at that point, and swam back to the surface. Full of air, he dove again. The two mer were moving slowly away; Eren swam after them, legs kicking. He shouted behind them.

_ I want to fight! _

Levi turned around, arms still crossed.  _ You'll die, and quite quickly. _

_ You're wrong! _

The frown changed into a smirk.

_ Stay on land where you belong, pretty boy. _


	4. Chapter 4

There was a blinding light as Levi’s body suddenly shook from a vibration that rattled through the water. His ears rang with the intensity of the thunder, and he turned around, half deaf. There, near the surface, a body floated. He swam up.

_ Another one.  _ Levi shook the boy's shoulder; he felt the boy's whole body twitch, tail flexing and extending again. Bright emerald scales, catching the sunlight filtering through the waves and throwing blue and white flashes in return. The boy was still face down, floating gently in time with the sea. Levi shook him a bit harder, and suddenly the boy started seizing. His hands went to his throat, mouth moving opened and closed, ironically looking like a fish out of water as he gasped for air.

"Hey kid! Kid! Stop it. Open your mouth. Relax, relax."

The kid was panicking, flailing his arms about, so Levi grabbed him under the arms and brought him to the surface. Coughing his lungs out, the boy went slack in Levi's arms. Levi pushed a mop of brown hair back, and the boy's eyes opened; they were wide, and bright green, with flecks of gold and blue gathered inside black-rimmed irises. The eyes scrunched up as he started coughing again. Levi waited, holding them both above the water easily.

"Hey kid, what's your name?"

The boy looked at him groggily. He wiped his eyes with the palms of his little kid hands. "Um..."

"Oh, okay, I just assumed you had a name but obviously I was wrong."

The boy scrunched his nose up in confusion and thought for a second. "Eren."

Levi smiled a little. "Nice to meet you, Eren. I'm Levi." A pause. "How old are you, Eren?"

"I don't know."

Levi sighed, impatient. "How many years you got?"

Eren repeated, "I don't know what you mean."

Levi sighed again, looking him over. He looked to have around 7 or 8 years on him, if Levi guessed, though to be fair Levi was much smaller than this kid at 7.

_ Just a kid. Just a fucking kid. _ Levi watched as Eren closed his eyes again, going limp in his hands. His little face was slack, breathing in and out with little pants that ruffled the water just below his mouth. Just a child. 

Levi swore.  _ Fuck. Fuck! What do I do? I can’t bring him back with me. Fuck, he can't, he won't be able… God damn it. He won't be able to fight, he'd just... _

He'd just die anyway. The boy was passed out now, little nose dipping dangerously close to the water. He had fresh gills, delicately opening and closing with the brush of water against them, but still had no idea how to use them.

_ What do I do? _ Levi had never heard of someone so young becoming a mer. Why not? Is it because other mer found them, and also... also did what he's planning on doing? Do they keep them, raise them? But he would've seen at least one mer child, if that was the case, but he hadn't. Maybe they all got eaten, just like everyone else who's cursed to live in this fucking hell. Could this kid learn to live with death, and fear, and watching friends and people you've known your whole life being eaten in front of you? Could he really teach this kid to live in hell? 

Levi held Eren close, swimming to shore. He felt the wave lift him near an outcropping of rock, where he hauled the kid onto it, laying him on his side. Eren woke up somewhat, pushing on the ground, trying to sit up and failing.

"Hey, hey kid. Eren. Just relax. You don't have to go anywhere. Just, just stay here okay? I'll be back for you. I'll... go get us some food. You're hungry, right?" Without opening his eyes, Eren nodded a little. The boy started crying weakly, hugging himself with those tiny arms.

"Oh God, God please - it's gonna be okay. Eren? It'll... It'll be okay soon." Levi had no fucking idea, actually, how long it took for, well. How long it took for a mer to die out of water. All he knew was they never came back from land.

Levi brushed Eren's hair out of his eyes, lightly combing through his hair with the tips of his nails. Eren stopped openly crying, his face relaxing again, snot running out the brat’s nose, and occasionally hiccuped. He seemed so tired. Levi felt his eyes stinging, and he shoved his hands into his eyes fiercely. He can't. God damn it, he can't do this. But he can't watch -  _ fuck, he's just a kid. Just a fucking kid, his dad just died, now he's cursed to fight demons... _

_ Remember what happened to you. _

Levi looked at Eren who was sleeping now, breathing steadily, little tail twitching from dreams.

_ I wouldn't wish this on anybody. _

He backed up, pushing off the edge of the rock and slipping back into the sea, leaving Eren resting peacefully.


	5. Chapter 5

Levi had tried to ignore his name all afternoon as he worked. Some newer mermaids needed to learn how to spear hunt and had cornered some tuna near the coast, driving them in toward the shore. The group were taking turns, lunging at the fish and striking out with the spears. Levi had the end group of fish perfectly positioned, pinned between the rock on two sides, and mer on the other. Levi had only speared two of the fish so far in as many hours; he just couldn't concentrate. The other mer kept giggling as Levi's name floated over the water surface every so often; some impish mer in the back of the group started softly calling out Levi's name in mockery.

Finally, he shoved his spear into Hange's hand, who almost dropped it, too busy laughing, choking with glee.

_ I'm gonna murder him. _

_ Don't do it too fast! This is quality entertainment. _

Levi turned left, swimming down the coast a ways, then turning up toward the surface of the water where Eren had been calling him. He popped his head up above at the exact moment a rock smacked him right between the eyes. He glared, Eren frozen and staring in awe at the timing of the situation before bending over, laughing loudly. He pointed at Levi.

“Levi, I’m so -”, Eren wheezed. “I was skipping rocks, and I, oh my God, what a fucking…” Eren trailed off as he wiped his eyes, looking back up. Levi's face must've been appropriately disturbing because Eren stopped laughing immediately, lips still twitching as he straightened back up. Levi's forehead settled down from acute stinging pain to a nice throbbing ache, deepening his scowl.

Levi pointed back at him. "Hey dumbass, stop fucking saying my name. It's driving me insane."

Eren shuffled his foot against the ground. "Well I don't really know how else to reach you."

"You could try to... not."

Eren shrugged, obviously not having considered that. Levi rubbed his forehead.

"Oh!" Eren jumped, looking at Levi excitedly. His hands went out in a stopping motion. "Wait here. You promise?" And without waiting for an answer, turned around, walking back to a leather bag lying on the ground and taking out something small.

"I brought these for you. Since you saved my life twice, three times now."

He walked back to the water's edge where Levi was still idling swimming, sitting and hanging his legs over the rock. Eren handed Levi a small leather pouch, soft and tied with delicate hemp twine. Levi untied the twine knot and opened the pouch, upending it in his palm. Several pearls dropped out, sanded to a nice shine that caught the light, throwing slivers of purple and green over the spheres. There were some small intricate shells as well, grooves infinitely small and rotating inwards, of all different colors. Eren must've combed through the beach for hours, saving him the best ones. 

Eren must have seen the confusion on his face, and hurriedly said, "I know it's not very practical. If you don't want them or don't, um, have anywhere to put them, I completely understand-"

"No, I... like them." Levi rolled one of the pearls through his fingers, feeling how smooth it was; this one was bigger, having weight to it. It must have taken years to grow, the oyster slowly adding layer on layer of calcium to it. Eren had to have dove quite far under to find an oyster hidden well enough to grow a pearl this size. He didn’t understand why Eren had chosen to give him this when they could’ve fetched quite a large amount of money at the town market.

He was so focused on the pearl in his left hand he accidentally let his right hand waver, a few shells rolling off the palm and into the water.

"Oh, fuck, fuck!" Levi clutched his hand closed and dived below the water, looking around. The shells had already disappeared, the water kicking everything into the crevices of the rocks. He lifted his head above the water, pulling himself onto the rock in a panic, looking at Eren.

"Seriously, I am so - shit, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to -"

Eren smiled, laughing and rubbing the back of his head. "It's okay. Really, I'm just glad it wasn't one of the pearls. Funny story, my foot got caught in between some rocks diving for that one in your hand, right over there." Eren pointed to the left of their spot, pretty much a cliff face of black craggy rock, jutting over the water somewhat. "Well, maybe not that funny. Got out, obviously, but take a look."

He unhooks his leg from underneath him and shows Levi some half-healed abrasions on both sides of his ankle. His ankle was otherwise fine, foot present and everything. Leg hair, damp and laying flat against tan skin, browned from being outside daily. He was wearing pants that tied off at the calf with some rope, going up to hanging loosely at his hips, again tied with twine to keep from falling off. More tan skin, up and over Eren's chest, collarbones resting at the base of a long neck, accentuated by the fact Eren apparently liked to keep his hair tied up when he went into the ocean. He had his weight resting on his hands straight behind him, large hands that flexed with the wind trying to knock him back.

Levi went back to his ankle, curiosity overwhelming him. He reached out and closed his hand over Eren's ankle, feeling tendons between bone and muscle. Suddenly Eren jerked his leg back, Levi's nails accidentally catching the abrasions, opening up little cuts in the half-healed wound. Levi looked up to catch Eren's alarmed expression. It faded immediately, and Eren laughed, scratching his head again.

"Sorry, just.. sorry."

"What did I do?"

"No, nothing, I just.. yeah it's a bit stupid. Well, I mean, hey, can I ask you something?" Eren blushed slightly. Levi's wrists were getting tired holding him up, and he turned, lowering to his back, tail flipping in the water with little splashes. Eren was next to his head, and he looked to the sky.

When was the last time he watched the clouds?

"Sure. I have to pay for dropping half your present."

Silence for a second. Then, "Why have you been saving me? Why aren't you trying to kill me?"

Levi looked up at Eren behind him, body upside down. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Eren looked back at him, green eyes steady and eyebrows pulled down. Then he looked away, backwards, inland. "I mean mer, they, they pull people into the water, drown them. And use their bodies as puppets to lure new people into the ocean. Why haven't you, you know.."

Levi laughed. "What the actual fuck are you talking about?" He flipped over, looking at Eren right side up. "Who is telling you this shit?"

Eren sat up straighter, frowning. "Just, everyone knows it. Mer are demons that come from the depths to lure humans into the ocean to die."

Levi was frowning now. "Do I look like a demon to you?"

"...no."

Levi flipped back over to his back in a huff. Gravity's a bitch; he forgot how heavy he felt on land. He lifted his tail, splashing it down on the surface with some force, letting a spray of water land on both of them.

"You guys have no idea, do you."

"Know what?"

Levi fidgeted, and dug under his shoulder, pulling out a small rock and tossing it into the sea. "That we're human too."

Eren was silent for a moment. "What? Wait... What?"

"What, no way," parodied Levi, looking at the sky.

"But, I mean, but what about, well I mean the obvious -"

Levi sighed, not answering. He could hear Eren shifting in his seat. "Well, at least tell me why everyone thinks the mer people drag people into the ocean."

Levi bristled, flipping over on his stomach again, spine flaring up slightly. "Look, that's not what you - that's not - we don't eat people!" He could feel the skin around his gills flush a deep red, Eren glancing down for a second to his neck. "Yes, it happens, but for... different reasons." Levi looked down at the little dents in the ground, speckled with bits of algae. His anger faded; he glanced up at Eren, then looked back down. He picked at one of his nails, long and black, unbendable. He saw a hermit crab nearby and took it gingerly in his palm, base up; the little crab quickly fled inside itself. He watched the little animal’s eye stalks flick back and forth, summing up its surroundings, before unfolding itself back out of its shell. Red legs kicked around searching for land, before the whole body uncurled out. Levi's hand shook slightly and it retracted itself back inside, quick as a wink. He set the poor animal back down.

Eren had been silent, resting his chin on his knees.

"So you were a human then? Once?"

Levi looked up at him, frowning. "Still am."

Eren's cheek twisted, jaw tightening. "Yeah, but with like.. legs and shit."

Levi chuckled. "And shit. Yeah, once."

"So how'd it happen?"

_ Fucking nosy. _ Levi raised up onto his hands. "Okay, time to go. You shouldn't be seen with me, a demon of the deep and all. I'm hungry, anyway."

Eren bolted up on his feet in an instant, Levi almost slipping and falling back into the water. "Shit, I forgot!" Eren ran left, scrambling over the rocks. Levi watched in confusion; Eren reached a point near the water about two feet deep and pulled in a rope that was secured into the rock by an iron spike. The rope ended and Eren pulled near himself a wooden barrel with slots in it, reaching inside and pulling out a large mackerel by the tail. Still trying to flip out of Eren's hand, he swung it, slapping its head against a rock, killing it immediately. Reaching back inside the slotted barrel, he pulled out another wriggling fish and doing the same. Eren walked back over, a fish swinging limply in each hand.

"I had kept these from this morning's net haul, I didn't know if you were gonna show up when I called you. I still don't really believe you can hear my mind."

Levi was staring at the fish, not moving, his stomach growling loudly in protest. Eren laid the fish nearby, and walked a ways away to reach into a bag. He turned around at the same Levi's hand snatched one of the fish, fitting his claws into the gills and ripping the fish in two. 

"I have a knife if you want me to - oh." Eren turned around, stopping mid sentence. Levi froze, staring at him, fish head in one hand, body in the other. They just stared at each other for a long moment.

Suddenly Eren started laughing, bending over to try and catch his breath, hands on his knees. 

Levi frowned. "What's so funny?" He bit into the belly of the fish, juices running down his face. God, he hated that feeling. It didn't happen underwater. And why was this man laughing at him? This was all-around irritating, eating above water. He scowled at Eren, and for good measure, scooped out an eyeball with a nail and popped it in his mouth. 

  
  
  
  


The sun was painful now, staring into both their eyes as they say there, both pulling chunks of fish off the bone and eating silently. Orange spread across the sky, bathing the underbellies of the clouds in a golden bronze hue. The waves were thrown into high contrast, dark shadows appearing and disappearing as the water dipped up and down in synchronized disorder. 

Eren looked over, seeming to be debating something internally. He reached out a hand, then stopped, looking at Levi’s face. 

“Um, this might be a weird question.”

“Do I have to answer?”

Eren chewed on the corner of a lip. "Can I..? Can I look at your hands?"

Levi shrugged, and Eren scooted a bit toward Levi, knee brushing against the upper part of Levi's tail; it was warm, that singular spot of contact. Really warm, actually. It made Levi think about their respective body temperatures; maybe his was lower than he thought. Eren took Levi's left hand in both of his own, careful near the ends of the fingers. Very delicately, he turned the hand back and forth, leaning forward slightly. Eren was close enough that Levi could see a pulse point on his neck, causing little vibrations in the hair that had come loose from the leather strap on his head and was falling down in the curve of skin between neck and shoulder.

Radiating off of Eren was a subtle smell, deep, and warm, with a hint of smoke. Salty, too, but that smell was already in the air, the ocean breeze that tickled Levi’s nose with his own hair. Levi winced inwardly, suddenly wondering what he smelled like, good or bad. He looked down, watching as Eren scrutinized Levi's hand. He was touching the longest nail, delicately grazing his thumb pad over the tip. Eren's hands were large and tan, matching the rest of his body, with some scars in various stages of healing scattered around both hands. His palm scars, of course, faded to a dull red color from Levi himself.  _ He knows I didn't mean that. _ And some smaller scars, long thin lines, two on his left pointer finger. A thicker scar on his thumb, near the base and bleached white.  _ Must be shit with knives, _ Levi thought.

He watched, Eren turning Levi's hand again in his own, watching the small muscles of Eren's fingers working, stretching, though curiously, Eren's right pointer finger wouldn't flex with the rest. Broad, strong hands, calloused; used to working with knives and heavy rope. Levi looked at his own hand Eren was working over; where before he had always thought his hand to look too cruel, too deadly, now they simply looked delicate. And apparently cold, since the parts Eren touched flared with warmth, sending heat to the rest of his body.

Eren’s eyes never stopped their wide expression, his mouth slightly open. There were two freckles right by Eren's left eye, two dots of black, next to the pair of the greenest eyes. Emeralds, really. More beautiful than jewels.

Levi jerked his hand back. "Okay, that's enough." Levi looked toward the sea again; the sun had met the horizon at this point and the shadows on the water lengthened dramatically, stretching for miles. The wind had died down, and the water no longer alive, but a canvas for the impressionist painting it now reflected for the sky above. They both sat in silence, listening to the water lapping lightly at the rock below.

Eren spoke quietly. “I always love coming to the water at sunset. I think sometimes the water whispers to me, daring me to take the boat and row to the horizon, and just keep going. I wonder what’s on the other side of it; if the water just keeps going forever, or maybe it stops at a new place, with new land and new people.”

Levi glanced up at Eren’s face; it was looking out over the water, bathed in the red light of the sun, locks of hair fallen from his hair tie framing his face. They caught the sunlight, lighting up in a fiery golden color. Levi brushed one back gently from Eren's face, Eren turning to look at him and smiling warmly.

What was he doing? Levi pulled his hand back, scowling. He scooted forward, wriggling awkwardly, sliding back into the water. Precious water. Much better; his skin had felt too tight for the past half hour, tail itching in places like he had sat on an ant pile. He held onto the rocky shore, feeling the water soothe his skin.

“Sorry, I really do have to get back.”

"Hey, wait."

Levi looked up at Eren, who picked up his bag and slung it over his chest, preparing to leave as well. "What?"

"Thanks. Thank you. For saving my life, as a kid, you know."

Levi stared for a moment at Eren's bag, not wanting to look any higher than that.

"Sorry about your ankle."

"What?" Eren asked, confusedly, looking down at his ankle. The blood had already dried from where Levi's nails had opened up the wound again. Levi slipped quietly under the water as he did so, watching Eren from below the surface. 

Eren had looked up, smiling. "This? It's nothing -" Eren's face dropped as he looked around, not finding Levi. The man stood there on the ledge for a while, unmoving, fists clenching. Levi watched as Eren scooped a rock off the ground and turning, launched the rock as hard as he could toward the horizon, cursing as he did. He sat down, face in his hands.


	6. Chapter 6

_ What did I do wrong?  _ Eren kicked the door open, throwing the bag into the corner and heading to the middle table; Mikasa and Armin were already here, finished for the day. Reiner and Bertholdt were still out, who knows where. They were both the net haulers for the place; you caught a lot of fish that way, but it required serious muscle along with nerves of steel. The boat sometimes capsized, if you leaned too far over, or tried hauling up more than the boat could handle. Yet even after such strenuous work, they'd be out late, sometimes coming back in the middle of the night.

Mikasa and Armin were both hunched over either side of the table, massive sail stretched out between them over the table surface. They both had needles in hand, working to repair several tears in the canvas. Armin looked up.

"Eren! Where have you been, it's already night."

Eren mumbled nonsense, not wanting to talk to anyone. He sat on his bed, crossing his foot on the other knee and inspecting his ankle. Thin, symmetrical lines of dried blood were present, one for each of Levi's fingers. He had jerked his leg out of Levi's hold; Mikasa's words had flashed through his mind then, about mer dragging people by the feet to die at the bottom of the ocean, and Eren had panicked in the moment.

Eren laughed once, darkly, frowning. He turned, laying on his side, watching the candle next to his bed flicker and twist, casting shadows over the wall next to him.

He heard Armin muttering to Mikasa. "He's brooding again."

"When doesn't he?"

Eren grabbed the wooden cup on the bed stand, throwing it in their direction. It bounced off the table, landing on the floor with a clatter. He laid back down on his side. 

There was a scrape of the bench being pushed back, and footsteps tapping lightly toward where he laid. He didn’t turn around.

The air rushed out of his lungs as they deflated suddenly, Mikasa dumping herself roughly on top of him. Eren flailed his legs, Mikasa not moving her ass off his side, pinning him down. His shoulder protested at the weight, and he turned to his back. She shifted with him, sitting squarely on his chest.

"Mikasa, I can't fucking breathe,” he wheezed. “You're fucking heavy."

She looked down at him calmly. "Tell me why you almost kicked the door down and almost threw your bag through the wall. The bag Armin made you, by the way."

God damn she really was heavy. Struggling to breathe, Eren turned to Armin, watching everything with a small smile.  _ Glad he's enjoying himself. _

"Armin, tell Mikasa to get off me." Armin remained silent, just shaking his head. Anger flared up, and he tried pushing her legs off his chest. Mikasa twisted, wrapping her arms around his right elbow, shoving her left leg underneath Eren’s body, and dropped off the side of the bed, still holding onto Eren. Pain shot through his arm and it was either flip off the bed with her, or have his arm torn off. He rolled over her, face planting on the floor with a thud, nose on fire. 

He tried pushing up, and Mikasa sat directly on his upper back, knees squeezing on either side of his head, pushing his face even more into the dusty wooden floor. Unable to breathe, he tried swinging at her legs, with little effect.

"Mikasa get the fuck off me!" The threat was diminished somewhat by the fact his words only came out as a muffled scream.

Jean yelled out from his bed a couple rows down. "Hey guys, shut the fuck up!"

Mikasa didn’t move. "Tell me what happened."

Eren was failing to breathe at this point, Mikasa sitting on his lungs and windpipe, those necessary things for air. He struggled a bit more, before going limp. He yelled angrily, "Alright, alright! I went to go see Levi! Get off!" Mikasa's hand pressed on the back of his head, applying even more pressure on his face.

"Who's Levi?"

"That merman I told you about!"

The pressure stopped as Mikasa stood up, quickly backing up out of arm’s reach. Eren laid there, coughing and spitting dirt out of his mouth.

"Jesus fuck, Mikasa!" She stood there, expressionless. Pushing up, he sat back on his heels, coughing and rubbing his neck. He looked up at her, incredulous.

"You could've just fucking asked!"

She still stood there. "You wouldn't have told me."

He wiped his mouth with his hand and looked down, scowling. "Yeah, well, doesn't fucking matter." He didn't hear a reply from her, and looked up. She straightened her shirt and turned to sit back down by Armin.

Eren watched from his seat on the floor. There was little light cast from the couple candles that were lit by Eren's bed and on the central table. Long shadows danced along the walls and floor in the flickering light, dark monstrous creatures wavering behind the two seated at the table. Two rows of beds stretched out behind them in the dark, one on each side of the longhouse. Several had lumps already in them, snoring softly. 

Mikasa had taken up her needle again, pulling the thread through through the fabric, tugging aggressively when it caught on a knot. Armin looked at both of them before slowly turning back to his section, eyes wide.

Eren watched her for a moment."Does it matter?"

She didn't look up as she answered him. "You know what I told you."

"Yeah, you told me you wouldn't bail me out anymore, which I never asked for you to do in the -"

She slapped the needle down on the table. "No, I told you to stop being a dumbass!" She took a breath, picking it back up and shoving it through the sail. "Which you seem incapable of doing."

Knees burning, Eren stood up, stretching the arm Mikasa almost tore off as he walked over to the tray that held the sewing equipment. He picked out another needle and some thread, and sat down next to Mikasa, starting on the other end of the tear she was working on. They all sat in silence for a couple minutes, save for Armin's knee bouncing, his bench squeaking quietly in rhythm. Eren waited for him to burst, he always did. Eren tugged the needle through a couple more sutures, tying and cutting the end.

Armin’s leg stopped vibrating and set down his needle, leaning forward.  _ There it is. _

"You really saw a mer person?" Armin's eyes were wide, glittering. He looked so excited, so curious. Eren smiled a little bit, chuckling.

"Yeah, um, a couple times actually."

Armin gasped. "What?! You met one before and didn't tell me? What, what happened? Where were you? Did you get close to it?" Armin leaned closer and closer as he spoke, his body over the table at this point. "Is it true they have horns on their head? Did it try to seduce you?"

Eren bolted, standing up; Mikasa and Armin both looked up in surprise.  _ I, I don't know why I did that _ . He sat back down with a huff, crossing his arms. Any other time, Eren loved answering Armin's questions. He had to admit, it was nice attention, and Armin was a great listener. But he couldn't stop thinking about Levi's face, just before he disappeared yet again without saying goodbye. Levi had swam away without a word the other day, after killing those demons from the ocean, Eren calling after him. Eren had tried swimming after them, but it was comical how slow he was compared to them. 

Levi had laughed at him then. Fighting the giants. Eren did feel silly, thinking back to it. How was he supposed to fight those things? He didn't have fucking bone knife arms and shit. He could swim well for a human, but keeping up with Levi? Enough to be of help? Fucking ridiculous. He pushed his foot against a table leg, hearing the wood protest slightly from the pressure. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes with his hands and looked back at Armin, who was waiting patiently for an answer.

"No, no horns. And no he... he didn't try and seduce me."

Armin rocked back and forth in his chair, looking at the ceiling, smiling like a crazy person. "Wow. Amazing. That's, thats just... wow!" He had shifted, sitting on his other leg, and looking at Eren, asked, "Did he tell you where he lived?"

Eren shrugged. "I didn't ask. Nearby, though."

"Why's that?"

"Because he can always hear when -" Eren stopped, looking at Mikasa, who was quietly sewing away with little jabs and plucks of her fingers, a slight frown set on her face. Armin leaned even closer, too excited to notice Mikasa seething next to Eren.

"When what?"

"Um.. when I, um, call for him."

Eren felt the bench jerk back as Mikasa stood, looking down at Eren. She turned, leaving the table as she climbed over the bench, putting away her needle and thread in the cabinet. She walked to her bed, back turned to the men as she laid down, tugging her blanket over her shoulder.

Armin watched her, then turned back around, in a hushed whisper. "What did he look like?"

Eren smiled then. "Um, pretty human, except for the obvious, you know… tail. He has these blue eyes, almost grey really. He has this thing with his hands, they're um, they're actually pretty small. " He smiled wider. "He can move so fast underwater, Armin, like a barracuda. You should’ve seen him kill two Titans almost by himself.”

Armin’s eyes widened. “You mean Titans and mer kill each other? But, I thought they were sort of the same thing, both demons of the ocean.”

Eren shook his head. “They’re different. A Titan tried eating another mer that was with Levi.”

“So you saw two! How are you still alive?” Armin’s eyes widened impossibly further. 

“I’m telling you, Armin. Levi’s …” Eren trailed off.

"Alright, we get it, demon boy's super fast and sexy." Jean called out from the corner of the building. "Now will you guys go the fuck to sleep?"

"You want a demon boy?" Eren yelled back. "Let me drop you into Razor Cave down south, you can find yourself a vampire, maybe you'll finally get fucked, Jean!" Eren ducked as a candle flew by his head, smacking the wall behind him.

"What a waste of a candle," Armin said calmly.

Mikasa’s bed creaked, and Eren looked over to her. She had pulled her legs closer to her body, curling up into a fetal position beneath the thin blanket. Guilt shot through his chest, and he walked over, sitting down by the foot of her bed.

“Mikasa.” She didn’t move. 

He tried again. “Mikasa. Will you just look at me?”

She turned her head, looking at him over her shoulder, silent. 

“I know you’re just worried about me, and I know, I know you’ve helped me out before when I got into some shit show. But look at me. I’m an adult now. I can take care of myself.”

Her eyes stared into his, not speaking. 

He continued. “You know me. I can take anything. You remember summer festival a couple months ago? Three against one, trying to take me after one of them claimed I had stolen their beer. Fucking assholes.”

“Yeah, I know you.” She sat up, blanket falling to her waist. She looked at him evenly. “I know you, Eren. You just attract those situations. But sometimes you look for those situations, too. The unwinnable ones.”

She looked at him for a minute as he sat there, eyes searching his, waiting for his reply. He didn’t. Mikasa sighed and leaned over, gently blowing out the candle near her bed before laying back down, leaving Eren sitting in the darkness. 


	7. Chapter 7

Hands grabbed the front of Levi's shirt, dragging him down, the cold water hitting his face like a swift kick in the gut. Levi flailed in the water, screaming, which only quickened the whole dying thing. His face was shoved into the sandy bottom; panic, blind panic, arms swinging up worthless as the weight of a hand pressed down on his neck, holding him to the bottom of the ocean. Levi tried to inhale, immediately choking on water. His throat spasmed, cutting off anything coming in or out. Rising levels of carbon dioxide shut down consciousness, while decreasing levels of oxygen slowly starved and killed the brain, then the heart, then the organs and body. 

Not that Levi knew, or remembered any of that. No, Levi remembered the fear, and the pain, and that weight around his neck.

He remembered who did it, too. It was the same person who woke him up a bit later, slapping his face a couple times. Levi woke up screaming, immediately drowning again. And then again. He died a dozen times that day. 

He heard a voice, calmly: _ don't worry about it, they all go through it _ . _ Has to learn to use the gills. A bitch to get the water out of his lungs, though. _It was the same voice that used to yell at him not to touch the cooking pot, or the one that sang off-tune as he worked in the fields in the morning.

The same one that now spoke as he was shaken back into awareness.

_ There, now that that's over with. _

Levi was lying on the bottom of the ocean, dead. He looked over his shoulder, up into familiar eyes.

Uncle Kenny.

* * *

  
  


Levi didn't hear his name again, for days. It had been non-stop until then; Eren had come to the water in the evening, calling his name for an hour or so every night before sunset. It's absence was... unsettling. Levi was irritated about how much it irritated him, not to hear Eren.

_ Good. It's good. Stop trying to talk to me. He apologized, said thank you, whatever. _ Levi found himself talking to the rocks as he searched for sweet algae. They didn't offer any opinions in return.

The seaweed grew long in this area, waving serenely around his head as the ocean pulled them from side to side. They scattered the light, creating a halo of dancing golden strings in his vision. Small fish flitted in between the long grass, opening and closing their mouths to push the water through gill slits. Levi wondered about that, just like he wondered about a lot of things relating to this fucking curse. Why didn't he have to open and close his mouth like an idiot all the time, to keep from suffocating? He figured something to do with his nose helped with that, though he didn't understand how. He rolled over, watching the tips of the seaweed sway synchronized far above his head for a while. He could hear dolphins talking to each other off in the distance, their voices clicking and squealing in low, then high tones. They were probably the same group that liked to play near his camp, twisting in between the rocks, racing each other through open water. 

Levi rolled back over, nails brushing the ground below, turning over rocks. He heard a quiet shuffling sound, looking around to watch a small hermit crab make its way down the side of a large boulder, unimpressed with its vertical flooring. It looked like the one Levi picked up the other day, with Eren.

_ Who's Eren? _ A voice called out, nearby. Levi swam up quickly, out of the grass. Two mer were approaching - ah, Hange and Erwin. Levi frowned. He had forgotten about Erwin visiting today. He had been.. distracted. _ Fucking Eren - _

Erwin saluted to him, still swimming closer. _ Levi. _ His voice was powerful, not particularly loud, but carrying enough weight to make those near Erwin wince when he spoke. Still, it was good to see him.

_ Commander Erwin _ . Levi met him halfway. _ How's Sina treating you? You fat and happy yet? I thought you'd rather get eaten than deal with those scared bastards hiding in the reefs. _

A corner of Erwin's mouth tipped downward, an expression of extreme displeasure if Levi knew Erwin. _ It was... necessary. _

_ Necessary enough to leave Trost down the coast undefended? _

Erwin paused. _ I thought Hange had told you. Pixis is dead. _

A wave rolled by, reaching the coast and crashing into it. The seaweed below grazed Levi's tail fluke, which twitched in response.

_ How? _

_ Shipping accident. _

Levi laughed once, sharp. _ Pixis is as old as the ocean itself. You can't expect me to believe he got slapped in the ass by an oar and - _

_ It was some sailors. They were dragging their nets near the reef and had caught some of the more recently turned mermaids. Pixis was helping them out, but the men on the boat had chosen that time to haul the net, and he got caught. _ Erwin's face didn't change. _ They killed him on sight. _

Levi swore. _ Jesus. _ He wanted to hit something. 

_ Who saw it happen? _ Levi spun around, meeting the eyes of Erwin, then Hange, who had been silently floating behind Erwin so far. _ Who was the bastard that didn't even try helping him? _

_ There was nothing to be done. _

Levi stuck a finger in Erwin’s face. _ No, bullshit, Erwin. I call bullshit. Someone could have been there to help, to cut the ropes, or … shit, I don't know, maybe kill some fucking humans! _ He threw his hands up. _ Fuck! We're stuck down here, and they're _ , - he pointed back, toward shore - _ they're sitting dry and safe, while we deal with these fucking demons _ \- he swallowed. _ And they want _ ** _us _ ** _ dead _ \- his voice dropped off, overwhelmed with anger. He wanted to murder something, choke the life out of it with his bare hands. Erwin put a hand on his shoulder; Levi noticed he was clenching his whole body, and tried to relax.

_ Levi. _ Erwin's eyes were concerned. _ This isn't like you. _

Levi rubbed his knuckles into his eyes, trying to focus on something, anything, to calm down. Eren's smile flashed into his mind, rows of white teeth, head thrown back in laughter. It didn’t help, and his fists tightened. The scent of blood rose slightly into the water. The pain did help him focus, though.

He sighed mentally. _ Yeah, I'm sorry. I’m… irritated at something. _

_ Can I ask? About this 'Eren'? _

_ Just some guy on land that won't leave me alone. _His knuckles moved to his temples, rubbing them in circles.

_ Do you plan on recruiting him? _

Levi stopped, glaring back at those cool blue eyes. Polite, dead eyes. _ Erwin. I'm serious. That isn't an option. _

_ We are running low on people, Levi. Pixis' death just highlights - _

_ It's not for us to decide. _

The memory flashed through his head again. Hands grabbing his shirt. Levi winced, bringing his knuckles back to his forehead, digging them inward. Erwin was finally fucking silent, for once. He could hear the waves rumble in the distance, breaking over sand on the beach, grinding sand against sand, breaking them down slowly, over thousands of years. Not that Levi knew how sand was made, but his headache did feel similar, like something was trying to grind his brain into his neck.

Levi opened his eyes to Erwin swimming away. He followed. 

_ Wait, that's it? _ Erwin turned back, golden scales throwing clips of green and blue, looking truly regal. _ Pompous prick, _ Levi thought to himself, _ he probably made a deal with the devil just to pick out those colors when he turned - _

_ Levi. _ Erwin placed a hand on his shoulder again. The torturous screwing behind his eyes settled back down to a dull ache; Levi looked up at Erwin. The giant merman squeezed his hand in sympathy. 

_ I know how you feel. We all do. You're doing well, Levi. You've become a more capable leader in 18 years than some mer older than even me. _ Erwin smiled wryly. _ You missed out, by the way. My 200th birthday. _ He looked up toward the surface, smiling, maybe a bid sadly. _ What an ironic celebration, that is. Birthdays are to be a time of celebration, of being alive, another year avoiding death. _ He glanced at Levi once more, pausing for a moment, before swimming north toward Sina. Levi watched him leave.

To the right, Hange shifted her hands to her waist, fingers wrapping backwards. Levi turned to her, frowning. 

_ What? _

Hange had been staring at him, looking confused. Suddenly she threw both arms above her head.

_ Morose! _

_ Are we yelling out words now? I have a few that come to my mind about you. _

_ That's the word. I was trying to think of it. Morose face, very pouty. _ She mimicked his face, eyes comically wide, lower lip pouting out. She grinned again, dodging when he half-lunged at her with the spear he had been carrying, easily sweeping to one side. 

Levi turned back to her. _ I thought you were here to make me feel better. You’re supposed to let me hit you, it always makes a satisfying little ‘thunk’. _

_ You wouldn't know, you've never caught me before, old man. _

_ You're four years older than me. How are those kids, by the way? _

She laughed, punching his shoulder, a bit too hard as always. _ Those little shit heads. I'm surprised any of them are still alive. You know wee Levi ate a whole dead bird the other week? Gave him the shits for days, almost killed him dead as the bird itself. _Hange stop laughing suddenly, her face sober.

_ Oh, Hange, _ Levi thought to himself. He spoke to Hange. 

… _ You went to go see them. _

Hange was silent for a bit, watching the seaweed sway below them. The ocean was quiet, the loudest sounds the wind whistling over the ocean, muted with distance from the mer floating near the seabed.

She looked to him again, eyes wrinkling in the corners a little. _ He's getting big. He turned 6 recently. Actually today, I think _ . She sighed, looking up at the sky, mirror image of Erwin a moment ago. _ John, that old stubborn billy goat, took one look at me talking with Levi near the beach, assumed I was there to eat our own kid. Shouted out, ‘ye foul demon, begone’! Came at me with a shovel. _

_ But hey! _ She started ducking and weaving under imaginary fists, throwing some punches of her own into the open water. _ I'd like to see him try, that old leather boot! Haha, couldn't even tie his drawstrings, much less fight a demon! _ She dropped her hands, looking squarely at him, grinning maniacally.

_ Anyway! Tell me about loverboy. _ Her eyebrows raised suggestively.

Levi didn’t know what to say. _ Hange, I - _

_ Don't. _ She raised her hand, stopping him. _ Seriously. I just, I just want to hear about your ridiculously sad life, not mine. Or death, _ she added, sticking her tongue out.

Levi sighed. _ Oh Jesus, Hange, you should've seen him. Standing there all mopey like I took his dick away. What did I even do? He wanted to say thank you, he did, and then I left. What else was I supposed to do? _

Hange was inspecting her nails, then started nibbling on the edge of one. _ He did bring you fish. _

_ Yeah, I know, that was - wait. You were watching? _

Hange didn't look up, and Levi grabbed his spear with both hands, jabbing the blunt end at her stomach. She easily rolled around it, still biting her nails. _ Levi, come on, it's such quality entertainment, I told you. Anyway, you have to tell me, or next time I'm bringing the new batch along and you'll have to listen to them melodramatically act out that new roman play we all watched up at Sina dock whilst you're trying to concentrate on grabbing some fisherman ass. _

Levi sighed mentally. _ He reminds me of someone. _ He bent over, tearing off a small piece of seaweed. He started slowly tearing his piece into minuscule smaller pieces, one by one, as he talked.

_ I was 18, around. Erwin has just started letting me patrol the shore by myself. These people were out on the water, just some guy with his kid. I had just arrived to see these two Titans, big ones too, grab the guy swimming. It had tipped over, from the waves or what, who knows. _ Levi pierced what was left of the weed with a nail, poking a small slit into the grass. _ The kid was actually pretty tough, he lasted being in the water for whole knows how long, since he was pretty far away from the boat. I think that kept him from being eaten, too. But I was too late. He drowned. _

_ Did he turn? _ Hange suggested.

Levi discarded his section of grass, now with numerous small holes in it, grabbing a new one. _ I wasn't watching him. Didn't realize he was so tired. _ He paused. _ Yeah, he died. _

Hange lifted her hand, _ Well, that's good at least, right? _

Levi didn't look her in the eyes. _ I left him up on land. _

_ .. oh. _Hange didn't move.

His grip tightened on his spear handle, whites of his knuckles showing. _ Hange, I thought… I thought I had killed him. I thought I was keeping him from a life like this. He would've only had this, for eternity. Living and dying in hiding. What would you have done? _ He finally looked at her again. She stared back at him, unreadable. 

  
He asked her again, desperate. _ What would you have done? _


	8. Chapter 8

Sasha was dead asleep. Eren glanced at her in the corner of his eye as she was slumped against the trunk of the tree they had climbed into, some spit running out her open mouth. She had a death grip on her bow, even in sleep, clutching it to her chest, quiver resting in her lap. Eren himself was sitting further along the branch, sturdy but still swaying slightly with the wind tugging at the leaves. Rope was slung over one shoulder, with some coarse leather bags by his right thigh.

It was a warm morning, various insects buzzing around in the underbrush three meters below. Eren's ass was completely numb at this point, the bark digging into soft spots. He shifted, trying to find relief, twisting back and forth to stretch his back.

Sasha bolted upright suddenly, almost surprising Eren right out of the tree. She sucked the spit back in her mouth.

"Deer!" She whispered.

"How did-"

She pointed; a small doe, stepping timidly from behind a tree, about 20 meters away, head down searching for food. It'd look up every so often, then return to the bush, neatly ripping off leaves with jerks of its head.

Sasha had already pulled an arrow from her quiver, suddenly dead silent. This was a new side of her. She was normally insanely loud at the fishery, bringing home random people from the town to hold massive bonfire parties along the shore. They always brought beer or spirits for admittance, which Eren recalled with fondness. But here, with a serious face, she knocked an arrow to the string, drawing back. The deer jerked its head up and stopped chewing; not seeing anything alarming, it bent back down. 

Sasha's hand released; the doe bolted from the noise of the string snapping, but the arrow was faster. It buried itself right in the doe's side behind its front leg. The deer jumped around the tree out of sight, not realizing it was already dead.

Sasha turned to him. "Alrighty! Wanna get anything else?” She pointed out to the far right. “They usually have some mushrooms in further, near the ring of beech trees, oh man.." Her eyes seemed to roll into the back of her head, licking her lips obscenely. "Throw those big daddies into some goat milk and, oh, some onions. We could try and find some but it's so much easier to get them from Holt's garden out near -"

Eren interrupted her, smiling. "No, the deer itself is fine. Thanks for bringing me, by the way."

"You said you'd carry the sacks."

"Yeah. Still."

They climbed down feet first from the tree, Eren almost slipping on a patch of moss. They went first to the spot the deer was shot. Sasha pulled back a bush, bending to grab the used arrow. She looked around a bit, pointing to a brown lump on the ground, a couple dozen meters away. They both approached the now dead animal, and Sasha, bending over, picked up a stick from the ground and lightly tossing it onto the corpse.

_ A little morbid. _ "What'd you do that for?"

"Have you ever gotten kicked by a deer in the face?" Not waiting for an answer, she knelt by the dead animal, sitting there unmoving. Eren walked around Sasha, toward the doe's head; it was a small thing, black fur lining the mouth and delicate brown nose and up around soft, wide eyes. Eren had never seen a deer this close; it seemed so fragile.

"It looks so.. small."

"Yeah well she's just a year old or so." Sasha leaned her head back, looking up to Eren. "Alrighty, ready?" She beckoned with one hand, Eren handing the bundles of rope to her. She threw the ends of the two rope lengths over the branch of the nearest tree and walked a ways away, sitting down, leaves crunching underneath. Sasha dug around in her own bag, pulling out a loaf of bread and immediately fitting most of it in her mouth.

Eren stood there watching her. “Um.. Sasha?”

She waved the rest of the loaf toward the deer. "I thought you wanted deer meat."

"I have no idea what I'm doing, Sasha."

She swallowed, immediately shoving another piece of bread inside. "Mmfm wmmphmmmf" waving the loaf in the air. Swallowing again, she sat back. "Tie the rope around both back feet and haul it up."

The deer weighed heavier than it looked, as Eren dragged it by its feet over to the rope and hauling it into the air, head dangling loosely, legs spread apart by the rope tied around both ankles. He walked the rope ends around the base of the tree and tied both off. Eren glanced over at Sasha, who had gotten up and was walking off to the west.

"Sasha, wait! What do I do now?" 

He felt a little stupid, just standing there. He had never learned how to hunt land animals, more used to spears and knives than bows and arrows, much less animals this large.

She turned back to him, "Look, you have to gut it like a fish." She drew an imaginary line down the does abdomen. "Tip of the asshole to its neck. Let the organs out, take what you want from that. Then you have to take the skin off." 

Eren just stared at her. She sighed, setting down her bag and bow and walked over, taking the knife from Eren's hand and turned to the deer. With a steady hand, she inserted the knife into the deer, quickly carving a hole around the anus and midline down the entire body to the throat. The organs exposed and already sagging out a bit, she reached inside, grabbing the trachea with a hand. Grunting, she pried the knife into the center of the trachea, twisting roughly. Eren heard small cracking noises as it split.

She turned to him. "Step back." They both did. Still holding the trachea connected to the lungs, she jerked down. The organs, now not connected to anything, spilled out onto the ground.

"I assumed you didn't want any of that?" She turned, looking at him over her shoulder. He shook his head. She resumed her work, still talking.

"Okay, so once the guts are out, I mean, this is just like a fish but bigger. Organs, then skin, then meat, right?" She looks at him, smiling with the bloody knife waving in the air. Déjà vu smacked Eren in the face; this looked exactly like the time he had stolen some of the rabbit jerky she kept in her bed stand. He shivered.

"Right here, around the ankles." She dragged the knife around the feet, separating skin. "And then right down the legs to the pelvis." She made symmetrical incisions, making a V shaped pattern and bending over, ran the knife in a ring around the neck near the head.

"Now pull." She walked around to the back of the deer, grabbing the skin at the ankles and yanking, hard. There was terrible noises of flesh being pulled apart as she jerked skin away from muscle several times. The rest of the body now hung, muscle and tendon and bone exposed to the air, skin laying on the ground in a separate pile away from the organs. Sasha wiped her hands on her pant legs, leaving bits of blood and hair in streaks.

"There! Now you just gotta carve the meat off the bone. You know how to do that." Sasha smiled at him, laying the knife in his hand and scratching her cheek, leaving a smear of blood. 

"Okay, I'm off! Be back in a minute." She once again grabbed her bow and bag and walked off.

Eren turned back to the suspended carcass, flipping he knife around in his hand.  _ I guess... start at the top?  _ He walked to the back of the animal and started carving off chunks of meat, setting them on a rock that was conveniently located nearby. It was calming, repetitive work, and Eren's mind wandered. The forest was quiet, but not totally silent, the wind rustling the leaves above, grass shifting every so often by small animals living beneath them. It was beautiful weather this time of year, the sun warm on the skin, with the cool wind balancing it out. Little sunlight reached the forest floor, where mostly small grasses grew. The forest itself was south, several miles away from where Eren and Sasha lived, and ran right up to the coast. The forest quite abruptly dropped off about a mile from their home, flattening out to a grassy plains. No animals lived in the area near their house, with the easiest access to food obviously being either in town or the water. Sasha had grown up a bit further south though, on the other side of the patch of forest, and was used to hunting in it.

Eren felt sweat trickling down his neck. He wiped his bloody hands on his chest, and unwrapped his hair tie on his wrist, putting his hair up. He went back to the deer, at this point near the shoulders. He crouched down, digging the knife into the flesh, carving out long strips of maroon meat.

His mind wandered again as he worked, now toward the ocean. A hand, white and thin. He stopped moving, knife still buried. Long black nails, like knives. Eren felt his jaw twitch, and he resumed cutting out meat, a bit more vigorously. Unreadable blue eyes, so close, staring up into his own, jet black hair hanging in his face. Eren had wanted to reach over and brush away the mer’s hair back from his face, then; he didn't. Levi looked spooked the whole time that evening, like he was about to bolt at any moment. Eren sighed, relaxing his arms on his knees, letting his head hang.

"Hey, look! Ya done well." Eren looked backwards to Sasha returning, holding two rabbits by the feet over her shoulder, bow in the other hand. "But don't stop now, I'll have the neck meat if you don't want it. That's the best part."

He smiled at her. "It's all your meat anyway. I just wanted a few pieces."

She set her stuff down on the ground, flapping her hand at him. "Yeah, whatever. Take what you want.”

Finishing up, Eren wrapped the meat in the canvas he had brought, shoving everything into the sack. They started walking north, picking carefully over roots and underbrush. Sasha moved silently, Eren following a little slower and a little louder, kicking up sticks and leaves. 

Eren turned to her. "I don't think I've ever been with you alone for so long."

She had obviously found some mushrooms in the forest, having been slowly burning through an entire bag of them while they walked. She had a mouth completely bursting full of them as she turned to him: "Yer noh ghunna thry an fhuck me, are yuh?"

Eren laughed as he walked, almost tripping over a root. "Wasn't planning on it." Sasha started choking, obviously eating way too fast, and he slapped her on the back. She resumed chewing, a morsel of mushroom hanging to the side of her mouth. "How do you even survive without Connie? It seems like it's his full time job looking out after you."

She swallowed and shrugged, popping another mushroom in her mouth. They kept walking in relative silence, leaving the forest and sticking to the dirt path that wound between people’s lands. They rounded a wall of stone separating someone’s vegetable garden from the path, coming on their home. The large wooden building sat on a rocky patch, the same rock that made up the flat coastline that slowly dipped into the sea. It was Eren and Sasha’s home for about 12 years or so, since the last great Titan sighting. Others have come and gone, the building always holding around ten or so people, give or take a few.

They reached the door, Eren turning back to Sasha. "Thanks again." He reached into the sack, pulling out a handful of wrapped meat and handed her the whole bag. She slung it over her shoulder, waving and heading to town.

* * *

“I thought that might get your attention.” 

Eren smiled down at Levi, who had surfaced a couple meters away, the very last light of the sun catching the back of his head and shoulders and creating a dim halo surrounding Levi’s black form.

Levi swam over slowly. "I was um, I was ... What are you doing?" 

Eren had built a small fire right by the water, having stashed some firewood in the second bag from the forest this morning. Sasha had returned from town that afternoon, having sold the deer skin and rabbits and returning with some coins and cooking supplies. She must've felt extremely generous that day, since she gave Eren some salt and spices to use on the deer meat. Eren was holding two wooden spikes over the fire, the meat speared on them already sizzling, throwing off a delicious aroma. Levi’s eyes now kept going back and forth between Eren and the meat he was holding.

Eren laughed, comical on how obviously Levi wanted some. He pointed to an area to his left. "Come up here, it's somewhat flat here. I brushed off the rocks, so it shouldn't be too bad."

Levi seemed to hesitate; then, he grabbed the edge, the muscles of his arms and shoulders flexing as he pushed up, hauling his body out of the water, turning and sitting, tail bent, on the edge. He laid back on his elbows, looking at Eren, breath coming evenly, stomach rising and falling slightly. There was a color change at his lower abdomen, where the skin met scales in a loose v-shaped pattern. Roughly where his hip bones were on his own body, Eren thought. The scales were smaller, growing larger and darker in color as they went down, thrown into high contrast as the only light, now the fire Eren had made, carved thin shadows around each scale. They burned a deep golden red, reflecting the firelight.

"Are you going to feed me, or should I turn around so you can look at the other side?" 

Shit, he had been staring. He looked back up to Levi's eyes, which held his gaze evenly. Keeping eye contact, Levi dropped his head and pushed his hair to one side, some immediately flipping back over to the other side stubbornly. Water dripped off the ends, joining with water droplets running down Levi's shoulders, back, chest. It pooled in the small concavity at the base of his neck, above his sternum.

_ I wonder if he'd let me lick that out. _

The thought had entered his mind, and he jumped, almost dropping the sticks of meat, and,  _ oh God _ . Levi had bolted upright suddenly, looking at him for a moment, surprise in his face, before turning away, looking down the coast.

_ Shit.  _ Eren cleared his throat. "Here," holding one of the sticks toward Levi, who still hadn't turned back around. "I'm, uh, yeah. Sorry. I keep forgetting you can hear my thoughts." 

Levi didn't move, leaning on his left shoulder. Eren couldn't help it, inspecting his back. There was a large scar, running over ridges of back muscle from his right shoulder to the middle of his upper back. Running down his spine was a flattened fin, like the dorsal fin of a tuna.  _ He must be able to lift it up and down _ , Eren thought. In response, the fin flared a bit, lifting slightly, showing spines of black, dark blue webbing between the cartilaginous fingers of the fin. They settled back down, again a flat black line. Levi looked over his shoulder, the side of his mouth turned up very slightly. 

Eren smiled, handing him the stick again. Levi turned back over toward him, resting his weight on his other arm. He took the stick and bit into the meat. 

Levi moaned, low and guttural, throwing his head back as he chewed with his eyes closed.  _ Fuck _ , Eren thought, adjusting in his seat.

"This is fucking delicious," Levi said in between bites of meat. "What is this from?"

Eren had started eating his own; it really was good, the salt and rosemary mixing with the earthy flavor of the steak. He nodded down the coast. "There's a forest that way. My friend took me hunting this morning. This is from a small deer she killed."

"It's good. I haven't had real meat in... well. I guess about 20 years."

"Jesus."

Levi chuckled, looking up beneath his brows. "Yeah, about how long you've been alive, I'm guessing."

_ He doesn't look much older than me _ . Eren shifted again, the rock pressing into his seat uncomfortably. He turned his whole body to face Levi's, legs crossed, fire still burning happily away to his right.

Eren rested his chin on both hands, elbows on his knees. "You never told me what happened."

Levi tossed his empty stick into the ocean. "Nothing to tell. Do you have anything to wipe my face with? It's fucking messy eating above water."

Eren reached behind him, pulling his shirt over his head and handing it to Levi.

Levi looked alarmed. "I can't use your shirt."

Eren shrugged, already chilled by the night ocean breeze. "I can just wash it in the water."

Levi searched his eyes for a second before shrugging himself, wiping his face and then hands, wringing his fingers with the fabric.

"I still want to know."

Levi sighed and laid on his back, shifting to get comfortable, grabbing the shirt and placing it under his head, leaving his arms at rest above his head. The end of his tail was still in the ocean, and now Levi used it to flick some water over himself. 

Levi spoke. "I, I had an uncle. He wanted to... keep family close. My mom died when I was a kid." The firelight flickered, wind blowing hot embers into Eren's arm. He scooted closer to Levi to get out of the way of the fire, casting Levi's face into shadow.

"I was um, lost. There wasn't really anybody, nobody in town would hire out a 12 year old." He laughed once, short. "Well, that’s not true. I got a job on one of the boats, actually. I'd be scrubbing decks for this merchant ship is what they told me. I had left their office and was walking down the docks. I was supposed to 'get my things and come back the next morning to set sail', even though I didn't have anything to grab." Eren couldn't see Levi's face. 

"I was walking down the shore back to.. to the whorehouse. One of the owners was sweet on my mom, he let me, let me stay -" Levi’s voice dropped off suddenly. Eren sat there, not moving. The sound of the waves slapping lightly against the shore was the only sound in the dark.

Eren looked to his right, watching the fire for a bit. It was lower now, almost dead, and Eren tossed some more kindle onto the flame. The wood crackled, sending small embers, slivers of gold to float in the wind. The flame wavered in the breeze that whistled quietly over the shoreline. Eren's hair was tickling his upper back, and he tied it up now. So Levi had been human, and for a while. Until after childhood at least, that transitional period to adulthood. He had grown up around here, same town. Maybe even known Eren’s parents. 

Eren shifted to the left, his own shadow annoying him, wanting to see Levi’s face again. Levi had propped himself up on his right elbow, muscles moving under that skin bathed in the low orange light. His eyes never left Eren’s, reflecting the flickering of the light of the flame. His head was tilted back, hair curled over his left eye. The rest of it tapered off down the back of his neck, still slightly damp. 

“So how does it work? The mind reading thing?” Eren picked up one of the firewood sticks, drawing on the ground. 

Levi raised his eyebrows. “It’s not a mind reading thing. It doesn’t - you can’t read a person’s mind. They have to be actively sending out the information, projecting their words.”

“So how can you read mine all the time?”

“I don’t know.” Levi tilted his head back some more, letting his forehead fall back, hair shifting into his eyes as he half-smiled, eyelids lowered. “You’re particularly loud.”

Eren’s mind blanked. He struggled for the thoughts that had just been there. “What, um… What about that first time I saw you again, in the water? When I could sort of, feel you. In my mind.”

Red spread across Levi’s face and neck as he froze. His lips parted as he looked away toward the water, taking a moment. “That was.. I’m sorry.”

Eren chuckled, not realizing he had brought up something embarrassing. “It’s not a big deal. I was just wondering how you did it.”

“That was... inappropriate, what I did to you. I really am sorry.” Levi still didn’t turn to him.

“What did you do to me?”

“Um, well. Sort of… ” Levi rolled his eyes. “Mind reading.”

“So it’s true!” Eren laughed, pointed an accusing finger at him. “You can read my mind, you demon!” He cupped his hand to his mouth, yelling into the night, “Devil, ghoul!” 

He laughed as Levi punched him in the shoulder. 

“Fiend!”

“Okay, yeah, idiot. It’s just, well, not really… polite.”

“That’s really lame.”

Levi glanced over at him from the side of his eye, raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? You’d rather we all be inside each other’s heads all the time? You’d want to live like that?”

Eren sat up straighter. Excitedly, he asked, “So there are more of you? How many? Where do you guys live? How do you get food? What do you even eat most of the time?”

Levi huffed. “See what I’m saying about being a noisy son of a bitch?” He scowled, staring at Eren’s chest for several minutes, face slowly softening. 

“Levi?”

Levi glanced up, shaking his head a little bit, face returning to a scowl. He laid back down on Eren’s shirt, looking up. Stars were shining, small pinpricks of light amongst the velvet black.

“There’s about 100 or so.”  _ So many. _ Eren exhaled, whistling low. Levi continued. “100 on the south coast. We call the place Trost, though that’s really just a holding name for a place that doesn’t exactly exist, not like Sina. It’s more of a camp.”

“So you guys are like… an army?”

“More like those old school ‘gladiators’, but sure. We didn’t necessarily sign up for this, you know.” Levi’s face was serious, eyes turned away, staring into the black of night over the water. Eren shoved the stick into the ground, carving out a deep groove into the damp sand. 

“Tell me.”

Levi glanced over to the fire now. “I was… dragged. From the docks that night.” He sighed deeply. “That’s how you become one of.. us.” Levi met his eyes. “You drown.”

Well that’s anticlimactic. “That’s it?”

Levi glared at him. “Yeah, just dying. No big deal, asshole.”

Eren shrugged. “I just thought, you know. Deal with the devil, or witchcraft..” He trailed off.  _ Seems a little random, too. Why just those that have drowned? Oh, but that. _ . Eren looked at Levi. “That explains why people think they see ghosts in the ocean of only people that have died in the water.”

Levi laughed darkly, scratching his side and flicking some more seawater over his body. “Yeah. It’s fucking us, still. Idiots.”

Eren scratched the back of his head, not knowing what to say. He didn’t really know anyone that had drowned before, so he couldn’t verify whether he had seen a ghost from the deep. He did remember Sasha telling her story to the group one night, bottle of wine in hand, sitting with her legs drawn up on her bed. Half-drunk and miserable looking already, Connie had cornered her, teasing her for not going near the water. She had burst into tears back then, sobbing about how her drowned mother haunted the ocean and had called to her, begging her to step into the water. 

Eren was confused. He had heard multiple stories of the same kind. If mer people were intentionally trying to drown people all the time, then what was Levi?

“Why do we keep hearing about people being dragged into the ocean?”

Levi didn’t acknowledge he had heard him, staying silent, watching the fire for several minutes. It was low now, a small pile of glowing ashes, smaller still were the flames eating the last of the wood. He tossed the stick in front of him onto the fire, the last one left. Crickets chirped away behind him, a steady heartbeat in the night. 

Levi stirred. “My uncle had died a couple years before. My mom got the news that the ship he had been working out got pirated, and something went wrong. He was thrown overboard. The captain came to us personally to deliver the news, though I guess he supposed it didn’t hurt to take advantage of the establishment, since he was in the neighborhood and all.” Levi’s hands squeezed into fists, just dark blurry shadows at this point; the fire had almost died completely, the only light now from the ashes themselves.

“I saw my uncle again, on the docks that day, or rather, under them. He was in the water and I -”, Levi laughed, a short bark. “I was actually reaching down to help him. Fucking ridiculous. I was going to pull him out of the water, help him up. Other way around, I guess.”

The ashes shifted, some embers floating up into the air, burning brighter, then winking off as they cooled in the air. The wind had picked up again, and Eren shivered, wrapping his arms around his middle. 

“So just to be sure, you died. You’re dead.”

“Looking good for it, right,” Levi replied, at that point a shapeless form blending into the rest of the dark. Eren looked around for the moon, not finding it. Great night to be hiding, the one night he could’ve used it. He liked being able to look at Levi, he didn’t want that to be taken away. 

A line of light, small, pale and blue, appeared in the blackness in front of Eren, near where Levi’s arm just was. He watched, mouth open, another line appearing in same fashion on Levi’s other arm. They elongated in symmetry, running from Levi’s hands up his arm, conglomerating around his forearm ridges, then shaping back into thin lines snaking up over muscles, wrapping in a pattern around both shoulders. It illuminated the top half of Levi’s body in a pale white-blue glow. Levi glanced up at him, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously. 

_ How wonderful.  _ Eren leaned over, tracing his fingers lightly over the patterns, light flaring under his fingers in response to the touch. It was mesmerizing. Levi shivered slightly.

Eren retracted his arm away, feeling guilty for some reason. “I’m sorry. Are you cold?”

“No, um. I’m not used to doing this.”

“How does it work?” He reached back out, touching Levi’s hand, outlining the lines of pale color. The light was brighter at the ends of his arms than nearer to his body, and on his hand, the lines wrapped around every finger, looking for the world like those patterns on the celtic ships that rolled into port sometimes. He couldn’t look away, didn’t want it to stop.

Eren looked back up, finding Levi’s eyes in the night. “You’re beautiful.”

Levi’s breath hitched. The light brightened and spread even further, up his shoulders and neck, surrounding the gills and flushing his throat with a blue-green color. Eren shivered deeply; a weight shifted, giving way in Eren's mind, seeming to decide something on its own. He leaned forward, ignoring Levi’s widening eyes, slipping his hands behind Levi’s head and kissed lightly the front of Levi’s neck, below his jaw. He felt Levi jolt, and he pulled back a little, face hovering over Levi’s. 

Eren shivered again, his body desiring to shake itself to pieces, he supposed in the back of his mind. Or maybe dissolve from pure energy. He realized they were panting into each other’s faces; he traced his thumb over Levi’s lower lip, refusing to look up into his eyes, not wanting to see rejection just yet.  _ Give me just a little more. _ Levi’s lips felt so soft, and Eren lowered down, pressing his own lips against them gently. Energy was crackling, sending lightning bolts through his limbs, vibrating heavily in his chest. He didn’t want to pull away, he didn’t -

A hand curled around the back of his neck, nails curling in just slightly. It pulled him firmly down, and Levi opened his mouth, invading Eren with his tongue. Eren moaned, pulling away, looking Levi in the eyes. They looked violent, even in the darkness; the hand around his neck tightened and pulled him down again, their lips crashing together in the dark.


	9. Chapter 9

The ocean was chilly today, clouds overhead carried by a brisk wind. White caps were snapping over the tips of muted blue-grey water, little light coming through from the sky even near noontime. Eren was slowly making his way down to the ocean floor to the crab trap he had set up the day before, lungs slowly compressing from the water pressure as he dived. 

A movement in the corner of his eye - Levi was swimming beside him, camouflaged in the water, the lack of direct sunlight allowing his grey tail and pale skin to blend in with the rest of the dark water. Levi was close enough to see now though as he leisurely swam alongside Eren, rotating in slow circles around him in a spiraling pattern. His broad tail swam in a lazy up and down motion, mimicking very closely the way whales swam, Eren decided. He could always see plumes of water spray from his home as the whale pods traveled by, searching for groups of fish. Eren hadn’t seen any in the water today, but that didn't necessarily mean they weren't further out from the shore.

Thoughts from last week flickered through his mind, causing Eren to grimace. Eren hadn't kissed Levi again, not after, well.

_ I can't - I can't do anything. _

Memories filled his mind as he watched Levi swimming beside him. Levi panting, hands gripping Eren's back, claws digging into his shoulder blades; he hadn't minded at the time, in fact it was really hot, the little pricks of pain on his back still present when he got home, quietly masturbating on his bed. Orgasming silently to thoughts of Levi moaning underneath him, Eren's tongue in his mouth.

He realized he didn't really care if Levi couldn't go any further, couldn't do anything physically. Eren had still found excuses to talk to him by the water in the evenings over the next couple days, finding even worse excuses to touch Levi's hair, or down his arms. Levi didn't seem to mind, at least; he always stayed every evening to keep Eren company, watching the sun set.

_ I don't know why you don't just let me grab this for you. _

Eren jolted a little; he didn't realize he had stopped swimming, and started heading down again. He tried hard to voice out his thoughts. It was still difficult, trying to formulate words and sending them out of his mind.  _ I don't mind doing this. _

_ Hm. And I heard you by the way.  _ Levi rolled his body to face Eren's, arms twisting slightly to keep the direction. He seemed to use his arms to stabilize how he swam. Eren guessed the thin webbing he had seen between Levi’s fingers helped a lot with that as well.

Levi continued.  _ You don't have to try so hard. You're very hard not to hear. _

_ I don't know how I'm doing it. _

Levi shrugged, his hands on his hips, or rather, where they would be. _ I don't know, I just know me and everyone else in the water have always been able to hear you for miles.  _

Eren stopped swimming, floating upside down, watching Levi's stomach extend and flex in time with his tail. It was mesmerizing, his abdomen contracting and dimpling in between the slats of muscle. He thought he really might like to run his hands over them.

_ See that is what I'm talking about. _

Eren jerked his head, realizing he had been staring, thoughts leaking out his head again.  _ I can't help it.  _ Levi swam further down then, not looking at him.  _ Shit. And I'm almost out of air too. _

He started heading down again, reaching the seabed. The water here was about 15 meters deep, with small reefs dotting the sandy bottom. Fish darted around, staying close to home. A couple eagle rays were floating by the floor, occasionally stopping to grab something juicy, wings stirring up clouds of sand and pebbles.

He reached down, grabbing the wooden crate. It was a simple enough thing, just a box with some netting making up one side, and a hole in the top that allowed crabs to wander in, but not out. He slipped the anchoring rope out from around the large rock it was placed by, and started heading up. It was always a bitch to get up, since the box was (hopefully) weighed down with crabs. He kicked at the water, eager to get back to air.

The box lightened, and he looked down to where Levi was pushing with one arm on the box from below. Levi saw Eren looking at him, and winked.

Eren choked on water.

* * *

  
  


"You're lucky the place you live didn't require a skills test. You would fail a child's swim lesson."

Eren was lying on the rocky shore, still coughing, his breathing only just now starting to slow. Levi was laying on his side, looking at him with his eyebrows raised. God damn him, Eren thought, sitting up and wiping his mouth. He fucking knew what that would do to him.

Levi answered out loud, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Didn't think you'd almost drown though." Levi suddenly scowled then, turning away to look at the ocean over his shoulder. Strange.

Levi didn't speak, so Eren answered Levi’s previous comment. "Actually, funny enough, they found me. The communal house where I live." Eren pointed to it - you could see it off in the distance. A couple people, looking like tiny figurines, were out on the shore by the building, the distance making them unrecognizable. The place where they sat now was good for crabs - further up the shore to the north, the tall cliffs stood with their birds and delicious eggs. To the south, his home, with lots of oyster dunes and urchins. Even further down south, the woods where Sasha and him had hunted for the deer meat.

Had that really only been last week? He looked back at Levi, who had been looking down the coastline, following Eren's finger with a slightly concerned frown. Maybe he didn't want to be seen by others?

"They can't see us over here, if you're worried about that."

"What do you mean they found you?" His eyes looked back to Eren. A water droplet fell from his hair, running down his chin. Eren leaned over, brushing it away with his thumb. He didn't want to stop, and he ran his thumb lightly over Levi's lower lip, tugging on the edge. So soft.

Levi's nostrils flared slightly, and his mouth parted open. He looked back up to Levi's eyes; they were half-open, holding Eren's gaze steadily. Did he want this, too?

"I um, I know that you don't, that you can't..."

"Spit it out."

"I really want to kiss you again. I'm not asking for anything more, obviously."

Levi stayed silent, eyes flickering down to Eren's lips. Eren took this as an affirmative, and slowly leaned closer, hands slipping behind Levi's head, threading into the thin hair behind. Eren gently pressed his lips against Levi's, tasting saltwater and the fish they had shared that morning. Levi pressed back, opening his lips and running his tongue along Eren's upper lip. Eren sighed, trying to capture Levi's tongue with his teeth, drawing out a sound from Levi when he succeeded. 

Heat flared in his pelvis, and he pushed forward, laying Levi back on his elbows and straddling Levi below his abdomen. Levi's eyes widened slightly, arms grabbing Eren's elbows, nails resting lightly on his skin. Eren dived, sucking and nibbling along Levi's neck, above those tender gills. Levi gasped, body underneath Eren's twisting somewhat. Hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back roughly, and Eren looked down to a perfect fucking picture - Levi, face flushed, hair a mess, mouth open and breathing hard. He went to bend back down again, but Levi kept his arms locked, keeping him away.

Levi, panting between words, asked, "Do you know how fucking terrible this is, being this aroused and not even having a dick?"

Eren groaned, letting his head hang. God damn it, he did it again. Too far. He leaned up and back, head to the sky, trying to slow his breathing, trying to calm down. When his head stopped swimming, he looked back down, squeezing Levi's waist once more and leaning back in for a chaste kiss before climbing off of him.

He tried to take his mind off of.. things, and readjusted his pants before searching his brain for the last thing they had been discussing. "Yeah, um... yeah. So Shadis, the guy who owns the place, he said he found me at his doorstep almost dead." Eren drew his knees to his chest, looking out over the water. "Kept me from dying. He gave me a home. He doesn't have the best temperament sometimes, but he lets people stay when they don't have anywhere else to go." Eren turned his head to Levi. "Do you remember that day?"

A gull cried out, searching for food as it seemed to hover directly above. Its wings dipped in the air, leveling off, legs kicking awkwardly. Levi looked up, watching it float weightless in the air.

"Yeah, I do."

Eren had returned to his house after he recovered, legs still weak. It was evident his father had never come home that day, his boat still absent. Maybe Levi knew something about where he was, where he had gone. He opened his mouth to ask. "Levi -"

He was interrupted by a head appearing above the waves. Another mer! Eren stood up quickly, standing at the edge of the water. An arm raised up above its head and waved.

"Hey guys."

Levi leaned over, glancing at the mer, apparently deeming it uninteresting enough to go back to drawing in the sand with his nail. He had been writing letters into the ground, not that Eren could read. Eren looked back to the mer and waved back.

"Uh, hey?"

It swam closer, then reaching the rock they were situated on, pushed up and landed seated on an outcropping. She turned and looked him over from head to toe.

"He's hot."

"Excuse me?" Eren asked, confused.

Levi flapped his hand at the other mer, never looking up. "You'll have to excuse Hange, she was raised pagan. No manners."

"What's a pagan?"

The mer Hange laughed throatily, the sound echoing off the rocks. "It means I can't pay the church tax so I'm too poor to go to Christian heaven."

Eren stood there, confused. "What?"

Hange turned to Levi. "You never told me he was tall. Very ironic, I'm loving it."

Eren repeated dumbly, "... What?"

Hange's eyes were alight with evil as they glanced back at him. "Oh, what with Levi being a wee minnow and all."

Levi flicked some sand in her direction. "Don't listen to her, she feels inadequate because last week she swam past a whale smaller than her."

Hange twisted, looking at Eren again, fingers twitching in the air in front of her face with excitement. "Oh, you should've seen it. The power and intelligence of these orcas." Her grin grew wider, showing rows of white teeth. "Absolutely stunning. They seemed to be surrounding the school of fish and using their fins to slap the fish unconscious, to stun them. Beautiful technique, absolutely amazing. We should try that sometime, eh Levi?"

"If you want to kick fish, go ahead."

"We can't kick anything anymore."

Eren interrupted. "Wait. You were human too once?"

Her eyebrows raised. "Of course. Last year actually. Funny thing, life. One minute you're stuck in a house full of screaming kids, god bless them, next thing you know you're taking a dive off a cliff wearing your finest gown. He bought it for me for the winter festival. Red. Couldn't stand the thing. Wanted it to drown with me. I took it the next day to the bottom of the ocean and dropped a big rock on it so it can sit and think about what it's done."

She lurched forward suddenly, face inches from Eren's, eyes wide. She was fucking crazy. "But let's not talk about me. I want to know about the man who has captured our Levi's eye." Her tail slapped the water, spraying them all with water droplets. She sighed, tail slipping back into the sea, the water bringing obvious relief. "Hey Levi, you didn't tell me it was so painful being out of the water like this. Do you know why that is?"

Levi shrugged, flicking his own tail into the water and sending a spray over himself.

Hange kept talking. "Anyway, Erwin wanted me to talk to you about the whales' sudden disappearance. It's apparently unsettling him. He thinks we may get a new wave of Titans soon -"

Hange yelped as she disappeared into the water, tail first. It happened in a blink, and Eren laid there for a moment, mouth open.  _ What the fuck?  _

“Hange!” Levi yelled, and bolted off the rock, diving into the water head first. 

Eren stood, diving in head first after both of them, looking around in the water for both of them.  _ Oh, oh no... _

A Titan’s hand was wrapped around the end of Hange's tail, squeezing viciously. Hange yelled out, bubbles running out of her mouth. The Titan was smaller this time, around twice the length of Hange, eye closest to her staring down at the mer, the other tracking Levi, who was quickly swimming around to the left, trying to get to an area where he could attack without involving Hange.

Hange swung out for the Titan’s head with her arms, just short of her target. It brought her up to its mouth, then jerked away again as Hange lunged out for its eyes, nails stretched out. 

Levi became a blur, streaking in from the periphery. A spray of dark blood spilled out of the long slice that appeared on the Titan’s jaw, Levi swinging around, immediately moving again toward the Titan. He swam past the Titan’s face, arms out, trying to catch the long thin blades on his arms against the sides of the cheeks. It left a deep gouge in the side of its expressionless face. 

Eren had stayed there floating near the surface, trusting Levi would handle the situation. Still, he dug his nails into his palms.  _ I’m still so useless, compared to them. I still can’t do anything. _

Hange still struggled inside the Titan’s fist, trying to slice open the fingers closest to her with little effect. The Titan brought Hange to its mouth again; Levi darted forward, focused on the hand holding Hange.

The Titan’ arm twitched. Levi’s body crumpled around him as the front of him stopped first, head encased in the Titan’s hand.

_ Levi!  _ Eren screamed, and started diving toward them. Levi was still trapped, tail slashing back and forth, nails digging at the hand squeezing around his face. The Titan opened wide, ignoring Levi’s body as it jerked around. It shoved Levi into its mouth, biting down. 

A scream rang out in the water, one of pure pain, bubbles filtering out between the Titan fingers. The Titan opened its mouth, fitting Levi’s body into it up to his waist, biting down again. It made a mistake though - it let go of Levi’s head. He swung his torso up, eyes alight with rage, and shoved both of his hands in the Titan’s eye sockets, digging claws deep. Levi jerked back with his whole body, spraying blood in an arc around him.

The Titan went slack, releasing Hange. She swam away, immediately getting out of range. Eren had reached the Titan by then, swimming up to the now dead giant. Particles floated in the water around it - blood and chunks of soft tissue swirling in a cloud around the dead giant. 

He swam to Levi, who was pushing himself with his arms out of the Titan’s mouth, loud cursing coming from the mer. Eren grabbed Levi on the shoulder, hoping to help. The mer swung around, grabbing Eren’s throat, eyes enraged, ready to kill. He saw it was Eren, releasing his death grip, and pushed Eren away by the chest with a hand. He wriggled free of the dead Titan, floating in the water.

Levi’s whole body spasmed, and he yelled out again. Eren swam closer, grabbing Levi under one arm, and pointed them upward. They breached the surface of the water, Levi yelling curse words both mentally and out loud; Eren took both of them to the shore, pulling Levi up after him. They lay drenched on the ground, Levi grimacing and pounding at the shore with a fist.

Hange surfaced by them, looking at Levi in panic. “How is he?”

“I have no idea.” Eren looked first to Hange, then over to Levi; he had stopped yelling, his eyes still clenched closed, mouth twisted in pain.

“Eren, we don’t have any way of helping him down here. There’s nothing I can do.” Hange beat her own fist against the rock. “God damn it! He saved me, the fucking bastard. Always trying to play the hero.”

“Hange, I… I don’t know what to do either. How bad do you think he really is?” 

Levi yelled out from the ground, “Well, I’m not fucking peachy, dickhead!” He tried sitting up, shouting out as he did so and falling back to the ground.

Maybe… maybe there’s something. “Hange,” Eren said. “I may have someone that can help. But I have to take Levi.”

Hange hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Eren stood, standing over Levi. The mer was scowling and breathing heavy, arms extended out with fists tightened. 

“Levi, I know… I know this is going to be uncomfortable, but I have to do this. You can’t just lay on the shore here.”

“I fucking know that.”

“Okay. I’m really sorry about this.” Eren bent down, grabbing Levi by the elbows. “I’m so sorry.” 

Levi shouted out in pain as Eren hauled him off the ground, wrapping Levi’s arms over his shoulders, the mer’s body hanging over his back. Levi slumped into unconsciousness, arms going slack.

A hand grabbed his ankle, and he looked down behind him. Hange had her hand wrapped around his leg.

“Take care of him, Eren.” 

Eren nodded, and turned, carrying Levi away from the ocean. 

His arms were burning after only a couple minutes. Levi's body was so heavy, and Eren couldn't help that Levi's tail dragged on the ground behind him. Thighs screaming, he reached the house about half an hour later. It had been abandoned several years ago by some cotters that had tended the fields just west of here. It was barely more than a shed really, just a small enclosed area of wood held up by prayers. Inside, the floor was made of stone; all of the furniture had either been stolen or broken down and used as firewood outside for various travelers, using the house as a way station. Now it was just an empty building, and that was what was needed. Eren couldn't think of anywhere else to take him.

His fingers were numb from gripping Levi as he kicked in the door to the house.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Um… yeah. I am so sorry in advance.)

"Armin, wake up."

Armin, rolled over, mumbling in his sleep. Eren shook Armin's arm harder. "Wake up, seriously."

Armin opened his eyes, concern immediately filling his face. "Eren? What's wrong?"

"I need your help with something. But I need you to come right now."

Armin reached over, grabbing his shirt from the end of the bed, pulling it over his head and he followed Eren out of the building.

"Where are we going?"

How to explain? "There's um, someone I know. They had an accident. But Armin -" He stopped, reaching over to grab Armin's hands in his own. "I need you to promise me you won't tell anybody about this. Not to Mikasa, not to anybody."

Armin's eyes widened, the afternoon breeze rustling his thin blonde hair. He nodded solemnly.

They reached the abandoned house quickly, Eren pushing the door open. Levi was still laying in the center, panting, face scowling, hands trying to grip the floor. His tail twitched, and Levi let out a short bark of pain, one fist slamming into the ground.

"Oh my god." Armin was standing there, hand over his mouth. "That's, that's -"

"A demon of the ocean, yes I know." Eren turned, grabbing his arm tightly. "Armin. Please. Can you help him?"

Armin looked panicked. "Eren, I, I can't, he's not -"

Eren pulled him forward, both of them now standing by Levi's waist. "Armin, look at him." Levi raised his head a little, trying to stare them down, sweat dripping into his eyes. He gave up, collapsing his head back on the ground. His sides were heaving from the force of breathing heavily through the pain. Armin hesitated, then dropped to his knees by the mer and looked back up at Eren.

"What happened?"

"His tail was crushed by a Titan."

"A Titan?" Armin's eyes widened further, glancing back down to Levi's tail. Where the Titan's teeth had been, Levi's tail was mottling, purple and red showing through the grey scales. Some scales were completely missing, ripped off in the fight. Bloody, skinless patches were all that was left, though most of the active external bleeding had stopped by then. 

Armin shook his head slowly. "I can't do anything for this."

Eren clawed at his friend’s arm, gripping it tightly. "Armin, I'm telling you, he's not, he's not what you think he is. He isn't evil. Please, I - I care about him. A great deal."

"No, you don't understand. I'd help, but I can't. These are serious crushing wounds. I'd be able to sew up any cuts, but this..." He gestures to Levi's body. "Nobody can do anything but wait."

Eren dropped heavily to his knees. Nothing to do. On his hands and knees he crawled over to Levi. The mer was clenching his fists, pants coming in shallow bursts.

"I don't know what to do. Levi, tell me what we can do for you. Tell us what to do."

Levi gritted his teeth, trying to sit up. Tears sprang to Eren’s eyes as he watched Levi yell out, dropping back to the ground.

"I can't feel it."

"Feel what?"

"The end of my tail. Is it still there?"

Eren wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "Yeah, it's still there."

"I can't -" He inhaled sharply, eyes shut tightly. "I can't move it. I want to know it's still there."

"Yes," Eren sobbed out. "Yeah, it's still there."

"If I can't swim, if I can't fight, I'll be dead -"

"Don't fucking say that. Don't say that."

"It doesn't matter anyway, now. I'll die out of the water or in it, either way.”

Eren grabbed Levi's shoulders, leaning over him, unable to stop tears from falling. Levi sighed, running his hand through Eren's hair slowly, down his back. Eren mumbled against Levi's chest, "I don't want to lose you. I only just found you again."

Armin coughed, standing near the front door at this point. "I'm gonna go. Eren, please..." he hesitated. "Nevermind. I'll be back home if you need anything." The door squeaked as it opened and shut.

Eren leaned back a bit, looking at Levi. He was still grimacing, trembling in pain. He bit his lip, running a hand through Levi's hair. It had tangled a bit, drying in thick waves. Eren realized he had never seen Levi's hair dry before. He leaned over, kissing the top of Levi's head lightly.

"You should go. You don't have to stay."

"Of course I'm staying."

Levi held back a groan of pain, twisting a bit on the ground. "You don't owe me anything. We don't even really know each other."

Eren laid there by his side, stroking his hair back. "I know that you obviously care about the people you live with, that you'd do anything for them. That you'd save their lives, and mine. You pretend you're not in pain even when you are. You're strong, Levi. Stronger than anyone I've met. So don't you fucking -" Eren's voice broke. "Don't you dare tell me to leave you to die alone."

Levi was obviously tiring, strength wearing out from trying to cope with the pain - the trembling stopped, Levi's body relaxing on the floor, not fighting anymore, breaths coming in fast and shallow. He looked so... fragile. It wasn't right. Eren ran his arm across his face, wiping away tears. He felt so useless, unable to help Levi. There wasn't anything to do. Bullshit. Fucking bullshit.

It wasn't fair.

Eren curled up next to Levi's side, the only thing he could give him was warmth.

* * *

  
  


A scream broke the silence of the shed, near evening. Eren scrambled up from where he had been sitting, feet skidding on the hay as he looked around in panic. Levi screamed again, this time letting it consume all the air in his lungs, turning tortuously on the ground. Eren dropped down beside Levi.

"Levi, what - what’s happening? What happened?"

Levi was holding his head between his hands, claws digging, twisting his whole body. His face was covered in sweat, eyes screwed up inward. He screamed again, his voice breaking and going even higher, like a dying animal. 

Levi's eyes shot open and he screamed again - "My tail! It's fucking on fire! IT'S ON FIRE" and suddenly shot back on the floor, rolling and crawling away with his arms, reaching the wall behind him. Eren sat there- what the fuck do I do? Levi seemed to want to crawl up the wall, reaching high, claws digging into the wood, making long marks. His tail spasms and he screamed again, long and reedy. He slumped, awkward with his face and chest against the wall, and he flipped over again, back resting on the wall, eyes closed and breaths coming in pants. 

Eren looked down to Levi's tail, noticing movement - where grey scales used to be, bloody chunks were slowly sliding down, scales torn off exposing raw flesh underneath. Blood trickled down the sides of Levi's body. Where Levi had pulled himself across the floor, scales and bits of meat were pushed into the grooves of the brick. Levi moaned, dragging his claws along the sides of his lower body, leaving deep gouges into his own flesh. 

Eren bolted over, grabbing Levi’s arms. “Levi, what the actual hell is happening?” He wrestled with the merman, who was bucking now along the ground, crying and screaming hoarsely with every ragged breath. Eren held down Levi's arms above his head with every ounce of his strength. Levi jerked his head from side to side, sobbing, tail lifting up and slapping the ground over and over. He looked up at Eren, tears smeared over his face and neck, mixing with blood from - oh God, Levi had ripped open his own gills thrashing around.

"Eren, please. Please, please, I -" Levi's entire body lifted off the ground, back arching as he screamed even higher, sound breaking and failing. Eren was sobbing; he didn't know what to do. Levi was dying and he didn't know why. Levi stopped flailing suddenly, and Eren watched as Levi's face switched from it's torturous setting to a look of surprise as he gasped, air flow suddenly ceasing. Eren leaned back, forgetting Levi’s hands, now still on the ground. 

It was a mistake - Levi’s arms flew to his throat, grabbing at it, making deep marks in his neck, nails easily slicing through the delicate gill tissue. Blood ran in rivulets down Levi's neck, pooling around his head. Eren couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and grabbed Levi's hands in his own, laying over Levi and muffling his own sobs into Levi's chest as Levi's nails pierced his hands to the bone. Holding his arms between their bodies, keeping Levi from shredding himself. He heard a gasp, and Levi bucked underneath him as he coughed for a long minute, spitting up blood. The body under him went slack again, the only movement were his small pants.

Eren looked up at Levi's face; there was a frown on his face, which was covered in blood, both from the gouges on his neck, to the spittle coughed up from his lungs. At least he wasn’t dead yet.

Levi's hands had relaxed, and Eren took his time, wincing with each nail he pulled from his skin, leaving little puncture wounds in the back of both hands. He had been prying each of Levi's fingers slowly away from his hand; on the last finger, the junction of nail to finger seemed to come apart, easily as butter, leaving the entire nail stuck inside Eren's hand. Eren cried out; Levi had a little circular patch of bloody tissue where his nail had removed itself from. He pulled it out and chucked it away into the corner of the shed.

"Levi. Levi." Eren rubbed on Levi's chest, over his sternum. He seemed to be resting, breathing more steadily, if still faster than normal. His face was still screwed up in pain, even unconscious. He was still alive. Still breathing. Eren’s hands throbbed as he clenched them. Eren scooted closer and wrapped his body gently around Levi's, letting Levi's head rest on Eren's stomach.

He whispered to Levi, “Don’t you fucking die on me.”

* * *

  
  


Eren woke up to the distinct and unpleasant sensation of his feet covered in jelly. Jerking his legs back, he sat up, eyes still bloated and crusted from tears. He wiped his eyes with his forearm, blinking several times, willing his eyes to see in the dim moonlight present. It was filtering through the panels of the roof, allowing Eren to barely make out features, basic shapes in the darkness. 

He looked down at Levi, who was breathing deeply and evenly.  _ He's still alive _ . Eren bent over now to wipe his foot with a finger; gelatinous stuff coated his feet, disgustingly, but where did it come from? Eren looked down where his feet had been, by Levi's side.

_ Oh. Oh fuck. Oh god. _ Levi's tail was.. there wasn't a better term for it. It was melting. It seemed to slough off in bits, like a slab of butter running off hot bread, pooling around Levi's lower body in soft chunks. Eren grabbed one, where it fell apart easily in his hands, scales slipping through his fingers. He cried out, and turned, shaking Levi by the shoulders. The man on the ground didn't wake up, just shifted to his side, muttering in his sleep. Something shifted under the pile as Levi turned over, and a foot tapped Eren's leg.


	11. Chapter 11

Levi didn't have to open his eyes to know he had died. He fucking hurt. Did he get stuck in a blow hole and ripped through a rock chute? It felt like every bone in his body had broken. He shivered, cold, tightening his body closer to his core, tucking his lower body in between his arms. Why was - why was he breathing? He opened his eyes. The ground invaded the entire left field of vision.

_ Well that explains that terrible pressure on my left side at least.  _ His head was throbbing, feeling like he was being kicked in the head for every heartbeat.

Fucking gravity. He tried sitting up by rolling over onto his back first. There was a terrifying sensation of one side of his tail shifting and straightening before the other side. He bolted upright, ignoring the stabbing sensation between his eyes, and grabbed the blanket that had been placed on him and throwing it to the side.

..

.....

"I -"

Levi jerked as a voice spoke up to his right. 

"Did you know?" 

Eren was here, sitting on a barrel, one foot tucked underneath him, arms resting calmly in his lap. Levi looked back down, at - at his legs. At feet. Legs attached to feet. Attached to hips. His hips. His legs, his feet. Even toes, fucking toes. They twitched, and he moved them slightly.

"This - I -" He couldn't think, tears sliding down his face. He looked at Eren, back at his feet.

He had feet again. He started laughing, really honestly laughing. When was the last time he laughed? He looked at Eren, who had been watching him with a guarded expression the whole time. Levi pointed to his feet.

"I have legs!" Levi flopped back onto his back, rolling with laughter. He laughed until his stomach cramped up and his new heels were on fire from beating against the ground. He heard shuffling as Eren stood up and walked over, settling on the ground next to Levi. Levi wiped his face off with his arm, looking over at Eren, still chuckling. What did he think of this, this.. miracle?

"Levi, are you okay? Like, really okay?"

He sat up on his elbows, locking onto Eren's worried eyes with his own. "Yes, of course I'm okay. I'm more than okay. Can't you fucking see I have legs again?" He pointed with his hand down his body. "Look!"

Eren didn't, just frowned. "Yeah, I see."

Levi grunted, scowling and sitting up, wincing with pain that flared up in everything he moved. He felt like a boulder had fallen on him. His legs bent apart when he sat up, and he also noticed for the first time he had genitals again. 

Eren shifted, bringing himself in Levi's field of vision.

"Do you remember last night?" His eyes were uncharacteristically worried, black circles under his eyes. Dried blood was smeared across Eren's forehead, possibly after being wiped there. 

Levi frowned and tried to remember last night. It was... hazy.  "... No, I mean, I don't.." His headache grew stronger, pumping pain behind his eyes. He closed them, lying back on the ground.

"Levi, you almost died last night. I'm pretty sure you did for a minute. You stopped breathing, you were... choking, like -" Eren's voice stopped, hitching in his throat. He was silent for a minute.

"Did you know?"

Levi threw an arm over his eyes, slowly rotating his new feet, around and around. "No, of course I didn't fucking know. Would've been some helpful fucking information, too, this past 20 years." He sighed, his headache moving to the back of his skull, vibrating dully. His forearm itched, and he reached up to scratch it. He winced, pulling away fingertips that were covered with blood, both dried and fresh. His mouth fell open in shock as he looked to his bare and bloody fingertips.

Eren's voice again, flat: "Oh yeah, those, they were, um, removed by you during the night. They were falling off anyway though so it didn't seem to hurt too much." Eren's frown deepened.

Silence fell as Levi turned his hands above his head, sunlight flickering in and out through the spaces between the fingers. The nails were gone, along with the thin translucent webbing in the space between the thumb and pointer finger. Wherever something was gone, red wounds took its place, wounds that seemed to only activate with a dull, drumming pain the moment he looked at them. He gave up, relaxing his arms down to the ground, closing his eyes.

"Levi." Eren's voice was quiet but raspy, like he had been crying during the night. "Levi, tell me what happened."

"... I don't know." His headache pounded and flared into severity as he coughed up something and sat up, spitting it on the ground. Blood.  _ Nice. I'm surprised I'm not dead from the amount of blood on the ground.  _ He couldn't fail to notice the blood smear leading from where he was sitting, to where... where Eren had apparently pulled him a ways from the pile of blood and scale slush in the middle of the room. He pointed, hand shaking weakly. God, he was tired.

"I take it that's what is left of my tail?" 

Eren just sat there, arms wrapped over his legs that were tucked into his chest. 

"Good riddance." Levi coughed again, spitting more blood toward the disgusting pile.

Eren slammed his fist down on the ground. "God damn it, Levi! What the fuck is this, huh?" He shouted, voice going louder and louder. "You could've fucking died, you know that? I thought -" Eren choked, and resumed yelling, "I thought you were dying!"

Levi matched his tone, roaring, "Do you think I know what the fuck is happening? Do you think I just decided last night, 'Yeah I'll fucking be a human again'? Just for shits? I know just as much as you do!" 

He tried standing up, immediately regretting his decision. Hips flared in pain, and he groaned loudly, turning around and laying on his side, breathing shallowly. Everything hurt. Even his lungs hurt. His skull felt stuffed with rocks. He squeezed his eyes closed, and put his palms on his temples, massaging around and around and around and -

Levi felt an arm slip over his chest, slowly. Another one, too warm, under his head. The one over his chest tightened, pulling him close to Eren's body. Levi suddenly realized he was so, so cold, and started shivering violently. Eren squeezed his arm, tucking long legs in behind Levi's. Warm; Eren was so warm. Levi pushed back against the warmth, and Eren reached in front of Levi, pulling the blanket over them both. The blanket was stiff and scratchy and had obviously never been washed, but it was warm, too, and Levi felt the shivering lessen somewhat.

He was just so tired. He closed his eyes, and drifted off to the sound of Eren's breathing.


	12. Chapter 12

A drop of water fell directly into Levi's mouth.

He opened his eyes, watching as some more raindrops fell down, falling on his forehead. Levi tried sitting up and groaned, pain shooting up both legs.

Legs.

Ignoring his sudden massive headache, he sat up, looking down. They were still there. He didn't dream up last night. Someone had put pants on him, and he picked at the fabric. He stared where his calves came out of the bottom of the trousers - they were completely hairless and almost ivory white. Not that that was very different to the color of the rest of his body, he thought wryly. He flexed his toes back and forth, feeling one pop. Where did they come from? Surely he would've felt fucking legs inside his tail, when he was a mer.

He froze, struck with the realization: he didn't have to go back. He didn't have to go back to eating seaweed and cold oysters every day. He didn't have to go back to sleeping in the open ocean, afraid every time he closed his eyes was the last time. Afraid of being eaten every night. He barked out a laugh, and then jumped as a bundle next to him moved.

Eren had been curled up on a chair next to the bed, and now stretched his arms up, looking at him. A smile spread across the man's face, green eyes lighting up with fondness. Like the fucking sun coming up. It hurt Levi's eyes.

"Hey," Levi croaked. Good Lord, he sounded dead. He rested his head in one hand, trying to force the headache away by concentrating, only causing the pain to spread to his eyes. Great. He brought his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and looking over to Eren as he rested his cheek on a knee. He couldn't help but smile a little.

"I haven't done this in so long."

Eren grinned wider.  _ Stop doing that. _ Levi's headache flared, and he shut his eyes.

"I'm just glad you're okay." Eren laughed. "I hope you're okay, at least. You slept for two days."

Levi opened his eyes, sitting up and looking around. "Two fucking days?" This wasn't the same place Eren had taken him, he realized. It was far larger, for one. Along the nearest wall was a row of beds, his included. A long table was in the center, strewn with various items; nettings, eating utensils, empty bottles, a grey cat licking at a plate. A fireplace was tucked into the far wall with large cabinets to either side.

There were people here, too. A woman had walked over to where Levi and Eren were sitting; Eren noticed her, smiling up at her, too.

"So he woke up."

"Yeah."

"Is he leaving soon so you can stop sleeping on the ground?"

"Mikasa -"

The woman, Mikasa, had been staring at Levi so far, and interrupted Eren, addressing Levi directly. "Why are you here?"

He pushed his knuckles against his temple, where the throbbing was strongest. "I don't know, you tell me. Your friend was the one to kidnap me." 

Mikasa took a step forward, turning to Eren.

"When is he leaving?"

Eren looked at her, mouth open. "Of course he's not leaving."

"So he's staying here forever."

"No, I just -"

"You said he would stay until he's better. He looks fine."

"He looks half dead, Mikasa, look at him."

Levi snorted, the action hurting his throat, still sore from screaming. "Thanks."

"Sorry, but Mikasa, look, he can't leave. Not yet. Not until, well, I don't know."

Mikasa stepped forward, standing close to Eren's legs as she looked down at him. "Remember what I told you." Eren sat there looking up at her as she walked away.

"You guys married?"

Eren glanced at Levi in surprise, then frowned, looking back at Mikasa. She had gone over to the fireplace, stacking wood over the flames. 

"No, she um, she was the one who found me by the ocean as a kid, that day. She thinks she is in charge of keeping me safe." Eren smiled then, letting out a laugh. "Maybe she is. I used to get into so many fights as a kid. She'd always keep me from getting stabbed, or killed, I suppose." 

He turned to Levi. "How's your head? I keep seeing you grab it like it's about to explode open."

"That's what it feels like." Done sitting up, Levi flopped onto his back and threw an arm over his face. The bed to his right dipped down with a sudden weight. He sighed quietly as fingers tentatively threaded through his hair. Eren. He swallowed, overcome with sudden fear. He jerked his head away from the hand, staring at Eren, who looked down confusedly.

"Sorry. Head still hurts," Levi lied.

"Oh yeah, shit, sorry." Eren pulled his hand back, going to stand up. Levi reached out and grabbed the hand with his.

"No, sorry, I -" He paused. "Please sit next to me."

Eren sat down, rearranging his hands in several different places, coming to rest in his lap. His shirt collar dipped, showing off the key on the end of the necklace he always wore.

"I keep forgetting to ask." Levi pointed. "What does that open?"

Eren looked down, fingering the key through the fabric. "Oh, this? It's the key to my old home. I go back there, every so often. Nobody messes with the place, since it's pretty remote, though I've already sold most of what was in there."

The door opened suddenly, in striding a tall man in his 40s, sunken eyes and the weathered skin of a man that has lived all of his life out in the sun. The man turned to the both of them.

"Eren!" The man barked.

Eren bolted off the chair, standing erect. "Yes, sir!"

_ Interesting. _

“Someone didn’t wash out the cleaning basin.” The man’s voice carried, reminding him of Erwin. Levi chuckled as the man yelled at Eren. “Care to rectify the situation?”

Eren strode out the door even as he answered again with a "Yes, sir!"

The man turned to him then. "You there. Eren tells me you got in some sort of accident at sea? He says you work as a fisherman out north of town."

That was ironically so close to being accurate. He nodded at the man, grimacing as the movement exacerbated the pain behind his eyes.

"You any good?"

"Can I fish, you mean?" Levi looked down at his legs. "I'm... not sure anymore."

The man frowned, thinking for a moment, then took a step forward, offering Levi his hand, which Levi took, shaking it.

"The name's Shadis. I own the place, though these shit heads sometimes think otherwise."

"I know the feeling." Levi thought back to the mer giggling at him the other day. Shit heads, all of them.

"Still, they keep the old place running. We make it out well enough." Shadis stared down at him. "You thinking about staying here?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Well." Shadis nodded over to a giant pile of netting in the corner. "You could start by mending our nets. Get Armin to show you, if you don't know how. Earn your food. We need another oyster diver, when you're feeling more alive. Lovely ladies in town love pearl necklaces, I'm told." Shadis frowned, looking like he wanted no part in a world inhabited by "lovely ladies". Levi suppressed laughter.

"I'll make sure to be of help."

The older man grunted, scratching at his beard as he strode off.

* * *

  
  


The next several days were a crash re-education course in humanity, and Levi growing more and more angry at Eren. Why was he so damn happy helping him all the time? It was fucking embarrassing, needing help for things a child could do.

Eren had helped him outside to take a piss, his legs still weak. Levi had to hold onto his shoulder, knees buckling. Still ridiculous that he was so much shorter than Eren. His eyes came up to the taller man’s nipples, for Christ’s sake, like a little kid.

He sighed with relief as he emptied his bladder onto the grass. That felt good, though. He remembered the last twenty years of having all his excrement come out of one hole in his body, a slit halfway down his tail. He had been curious in his youth, and horny as fucking hell, still going through puberty. He had wanted to see if the hole was.. receptive to pleasure. He was rewarded with stabbing pain in the area for days, and he didn't try it again.

Eren held onto his chest under Levi's arm as he helped Levi hobble back into the building. They reached Eren's bed, and Levi laid down, calves already aching.

Eren left for a minute, returning with a couple of wet rags, starting to gently wipe one over Levi's neck. Levi flinched, his neck stinging.

"Sorry, but you were bleeding a little bit. From your... well." They both knew the cuts on his neck were actually wounds where his gills had apparently closed during that night. "They seem to be healing well, though." Eren looked up to his eyes, smiling that fucking smile. Levi's chest ached, and he turned away. Eren worked on his neck and down his right shoulder and arm, wiping the cloth with little gentle strokes. He held up Levi's hand with his own.

"Can I?"

Levi looked to his hand in Eren's own, even smaller without those long, black nails. In their place, fingernails had grown back exceptionally fast in the couple days Levi had been here. In fact, his body seemed to be healing overall faster than it probably should have been. He was sure his legs had been broken, that night in the abandoned house. They were still sore and wobbly to stand on, but nowhere near as painful. From the waist up, his arms had looked the worst, large gaping lines in both of his forearms where his bone spines had been.

No, him healing fast wasn't the most surprising thing. What was surprising is the fact he changed back at all. Why had nobody known about this? Hundreds, thousands of mer people lived up and down the coast. How could none of them have not known?

Eren bent down, interrupting his thoughts, to kiss the top of Levi's hand. He felt himself flush. He's not supposed to, he shouldn't -

Why not? Levi frowned. What's holding him from Eren now? He shifted in the bed.

Eren pulled his hands away. "I'm sorry, I keep hurting you."

Levi groaned silently. He was doing this all wrong.

He beat down his pride. "I wanted to thank you. For doing what you've done. For taking care of me." Eren looked up at him, searching his eyes, as Levi continued. "You really didn't have to do what you did. What you're doing now. And I -" sucking in a breath, "I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted me to leave now. Or once I'm healed and all that."

Eren frowned, standing up. What did I say? The bed buckled as Eren swung a leg over Levi, straddling him. Just like before, on the rocks...

Eren put his hands on either side of Levi's head, leaning in close, their lips a finger’s breadth apart. He felt Eren's breath on his face as Eren spoke, his voice a whisper. "Is that what you want?" Eren glanced down at Levi's lips. "I asked you to stay, I told you I wanted to be with you. Is that what you choose?" Eren leaned in impossibly closer with eyes closed, his brow furrowing together. "Please just... just tell me what you want."

His face was so close, locks of hair touching Levi's face. He has a freckle just below his eyebrow. When did he pierce his ears, Levi wondered, though he supposed Eren always had those small rings.

Eren opened his eyes, gazing down at him. Ah, that's why he never noticed. His irises, wrapped around pits of black, so black you could fall into them, drown and never leave. Surrounding them, a ring of shattered greens, emerald shards mixing with turquoise, and right there, slivers the color of deep forest. Flecks of gold and black interlaced the color.

Levi reached up to touch Eren's cheek, just below one of those eyes. Beautiful. 

The thought startled him, and he turned, putting his hands behind his head. "Don't be so dramatic. Of course I like being here. Don't have anywhere else to go, anyway."

_ Wrong. _

Eren closed his eyes, nodding slowly. "Alright." He sat up, legs still around his hips. "Alright." He leaned forward again, and Levi closed his eyes.

The bed lurched as Eren swung off him and left.


	13. Chapter 13

Hange lunged out of the water, grabbing onto Levi, almost pulling him back into the sea.

"I thought you were dead, you son of a bitch!" She sobbed loudly into the crook of his neck. He patted her back a couple times.

"I came to see if you were okay."

"Of course I'm okay. You kept me from being eaten alive. " Hange let go, hauling herself out of the water.

He shifted, giving her space, and groaning when a flare of pain shot up his right knee. Apparently it didn’t like being bent at any angle, and he straightened his legs out in front of him, resting back on his wrists. "I wouldn't want to deprive the world of one more psychopath."

She grinned up wide at him. "You son of a bitch,” she repeated. “This world can’t seem to get rid of you.”

“It fucking tries its best.”

“Speaking of psychopaths, how are you? Being human again and all that."

"I forgot how terrible wiping my ass was."

Hange laughed throatily. "At least you have an ass. That guy claim it yet?"

Levi frowned at her. "What? No."

She just shrugged at him. “It’s important to cultivate all aspects of life’s experiences, Levi.”

"Fuck off. It's... complicated."

"What's complicated? He obviously wants you, for some reason. Must have a fetish for gnomes."

"How're the others?"

She wagged a finger at him. "Don't change the subject." She paused, face softening. "They all thought you died, Levi. We thought, when Eren took you..." She trailed off. "Did you know? I mean, how...?"

Levi stared at the ground. "I don't know."

Hange leaned forward. "What happened exactly?"

"You saw how I had been injured. Eren took me to a, a house." Levi shrugged. "And my fucking tail fell off."

Hange reached over, smacking him upside the head. He glared at her, gesturing rudely.

"Very informative, Captain."

"Look, I don't know!" Levi crossed his arms. "I remember being in a shit ton of pain, like I was being boiled alive. I woke up with legs. There wasn't some sort of lightning strike like when someone drowns. It… took a while." Levi's jaw tightened.

"Do you think it had something to do with your tail being injured? But no," Hange paused. "If that were true, then Mike…”

Levi finished for her, staring at the ground. “... would still be alive, yeah, I know. I don’t know. I remember it happening later in the evening, almost night, if that helps.”

Hange was silent, a distant look on her face as she stared at Levi’s head, thinking. “Maybe… maybe it has something to do with the fact that Eren took you out of the water. Hmm.”

"But it still doesn't explain how nobody knew." Hange turned, looking out over the waves.

Levi wiped his hands on his back and looked at his palms, small indents present from the pebbles dotting the ground. "I'm guessing everyone that turned human again left. Didn't want to be anywhere near the water again. Shit, I know how that feels. Half of me never wants to see this fucking place again."

Hange sat, quiet. They both watched as some seagulls dove into the water, floating back up and bobbing along the surface. One had a small fish in its mouth, quickly swallowing it whole. 

"So what are you gonna do now?"

Levi stayed silent. He had tried not to think of that. It’s not like he could go back to his family. ‘ _ Hey guys, sorry I’m late for dinner’. _ All his family was dead. Everyone he knew was in the ocean or in the ground. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I was thinking I could start playing the lute, maybe; become a wandering musician or something. You know how good of a singer I am."

"Has Eren asked you to stay?"

Levi was silent for a moment. "Yeah."

"And?"

Levi stayed quiet. Hange smacked his head again.

He glared at her again, rubbing the back of his skull and yelling at her, "What do you keep doing that for?"

Hange threw her hands up in the air. "It's the only way I can get you to talk, apparently!"

"It's hard, okay!" He rubbed his head, glaring at her. "It's hard to... to talk about this stuff, you know that. I can't, I don't - I don't want to stay and I don't want to leave, alright? Is that what you want to hear?" 

Hange just looked at him. 

"Yes, of course I want to stay and live with him and his merry little band of bastards. I just... I can't stand the sight of this fucking place anymore. Not after the last two fucking decades."

"And what about the rest of us?" Hange asked evenly. "Are you going to leave us?"

"I'm useless to all of you now. You never needed me, anyway."

Hange snorted, her laughter echoing off the water. "Yeah. Pretty useless, all of us. We should all join a group called The 'Eat Me' Club and finally have an accomplished purpose in life."

“Great fucking idea. I’ll bring beer.”

They sat, not talking. Levi took a rock, tossing it across the water. It skipped a couple times and sank, hitting a wave. He smiled even against his will, remembering Eren standing on the shore, doubled over laughing after smacking Levi right in the head.  _ Fucking brat. _

“Why are you smiling? Do you know something I don’t?” Hange was looking at him curiously.

“It’s nothing.” He tossed another rock.

“It’s Eren, right? I’m right, aren’t I? You really do like him, don’t you?”

Irritation flared inside Levi. "Of course I like him. He did buy me dinner, didn't he?"

"Seems like he did more than that a week ago."

He resisted the urge to throw the rock he was holding at her head. "God damn it, Hange. Stop fucking spying on people."

A thought flashed through his mind. He turned to Hange rapidly. “Hange. Come to land. Be human again.”

Hange scratched her head. “I don’t know, I mean… I don’t…  _ not  _ like being down here.”

“... What are you talking about?”

Hange’s eyes widened. “Levi, I just watched a dolphin giving birth the other day. Who knew they gave live birth like humans instead of laying eggs like fish? I’ve seen whales eat entire school of fish, thousands at a time. The things we’ve seen down here, Levi, nobody else on land has or ever will. You felt it was a curse, but it feels like a gift to me. I wanted to be free and now I am.”

“Free to be eaten.”

Hange shrugged. “That’s a minor detail.” She continued, “But… I’ll tell the others. They can make their own decision, of course. I’m sure Erwin could pass along the information to the mer in Sina.” Hange turned more to him, squaring her shoulders. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you deserve to be happy. Leave us behind if you want, but take that poor boy with you. To keep you from permanently freezing your face in a scowl.”

Levi scowled at her, and she pointed at him, eyebrows raising.

“I… it’s hard. And I can’t forget about what happened with Petra.”

“Who’s Petra?”

Levi frowned. Where had that name come from? “I… I’m sorry.” He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know what just happened.” The name had flashed through his mind, and even as he tried holding it in his awareness, it faded just as quickly. 

“Forget I said that.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (There is no evidence of hookah being used before the 15th century, but honestly, who cares.)

Eren walked into the house greeted by the sound of clipping scissors among the silence. Levi was sitting in a stool off to the right, leaning over his wooden walking stick, holding the top section of his hair up and forward. Armin stood behind him, shearing hair off in neat little clips. He hesitated, contemplating ignoring them to go shuck oysters. He sighed, dropping his bucket by the door and headed over to the other men.

"What are y'all doing?"

Armin smiled warmly at him in greeting. "Levi asked if I could cut some of his hair."

"Don’t like how it feels on my neck," Levi stated, face still pointed to the ground.

Armin had apparently almost finished when Eren arrived, and he tapped now on Levi's shoulders. "All done."

Levi flipped the rest of his hair back, straightening up. His hair still came to rest by his eyes, long locks reaching back over the now almost-shaved area, still parted near one eye. It seemed to accentuate Levi's thin but muscular neck. Curiosity won out against pride.

"... Can I touch it?"

Levi shrugged. Eren stepped forward, reaching out and running his fingers lightly up the side of Levi's neck, around to the back. What a fucking mistake. It felt amazing, like velvet or suede, so soft. He ran his hands to the dip at the base of Levi's skull, trails of hair brushing over the back of Eren's hand. A thought, more of a feeling than a coherent vision, flashed in his head. The feeling of Levi's shaved neck in one hand, other hand wrapped around his back, rocking together, struggling to get closer, Eren buried deep inside Levi's body. Levi moaning by his ear, hot breath on each other's necks.

He jerked his hand away.  _ He doesn't want me. _ Eren turned to Armin, who had been conspicuously looking away at the far wall. "Armin, you did a, a good job. Very nice." He threw a thumbs up. "Very, um, good." Eren coughed once and turned around, hoping neither had seen his half-hard erection.

Eren walked back to his bucket, slamming it down on the table next to a bowl. He started opening oysters one by one, separating the contents, searching for pearls embedded in the oily flesh. Wood clicked against wood as Levi's walking stick helped its owner hobble over to the table; Levi sat to his right, rubbing his hand over the back of his head.

Levi laid the stick across his lap and nodded his chin at Eren. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for pearls."

Levi frowned down at the growing pile of oyster bodies. "Seems like a waste."

"We need bait for crab traps anyway. I mean, I eat some, too. Love that feeling when it slides down your throat." Eren couldn’t help himself and winked at the other man, tossing the oyster in his hand down his throat. He grinned as Levi's eye twitched.

"Oh! I forgot!" Eren grabbed Levi's hand excitedly. "Are you coming to the Saint Crispin festival?"

"Who's Saint Crispin?"

Eren shrugged, still holding Levi's hand. Fuck it, this is what's happening now. "It's apparently one of some two Christian guys who died somewhere."

"Never heard of them."

Eren banged their joined hands down on the table. "Who cares, it's a festival! And yes, they'll let you take your cripple stick in," Eren said, waggling his eyebrows.

Levi pulled his hand out of Eren's. "Fuck you. I keep this around to keep your happy ass away from me, since a knife would be too messy."

"You told me you wanted your legs to get stronger, so come walk around with me for the day." Levi sat there unmoving, so Eren tried again. "Look, if it gets to be too much, I'll carry you on my shoulders."

Levi stood up, bench scraping across the floor. "Alright, that's it, I'm not going."

* * *

  
  


"Well I think it looks great."

Levi glowered at him from underneath the turban Eren had placed on his head, reaching up to unwrap it and shove the fabric to Eren's chest. Eren laughed and turned, handing the cloth back to the man at the counter. "I don't suppose you have anything in green?" He asked the man.

The man's tan skin flashed from beneath white robes as he pointed behind him. "Of course, sir. We have plenty, plenty of green." The man grinned genially.

Eren couldn't help but grin back. The man had such an interesting accent and seemed genuinely nice, letting them waste his time while they stood there trying on all of his goods. "Why's that?"

The man gestured around vaguely. "Green is the color of paradise, you must know this. You see the leaves on the trees, the grass? Paradise, all of it." Eren looked around; he could only see the mud underneath the feet of the hundreds of people packed in around them, no green to be found there or on the brown wooden walls hemming in the street.

Eren shrugged, then nodded at the head wrap on the counter. "Where do you make all of this?"

"Oh, sir, this is all genuine camel hair, shipped all the way from Baghdad itself. Or, if you like, I have others." He reached below, pulling out another folded bundle.

Eren ran his hands over it. "Oh, wow. Beautiful." The deep green cloth felt like nothing he had before, and was woven throughout in beautiful symmetrical patterns of a lighter green. Levi reached forward, eyes widening as he touched the fabric.

The man smiled at both of them. "Silk. Straight from the hands of the most beautiful maidens in all of the Caliphate. Maybe as a scarf for your lover? Does get cold by the ocean in the winter."

Eren glanced back to Levi, laughing. "No, I mean. Maybe something smaller? To match my lover, of course." Eren laughed again as a fist jabbed into his side.

"Oh, wonderful, yes. A moment." The man slid the material off the counter, replacing it down below him and, straightening back up, placed something small on the counter, no bigger than Eren's hand. Eren picked it up, turning it back and forth. Delicate glass had been shaped and molded in the form of a beautiful horse, eternally running in place. It had been so intricately made; Eren could make out small ears placed above a long, curved nose and small mouth. Hair was flying in the wind, long legs outstretched.

"Modeled after the Arab horse, you must know. The most beautiful of all animals." The man tapped the counter a couple times to accentuate his claim. Eren turned to Levi, handing the piece to him. Levi was silent for a moment or so, eyes wide as he stared at it, then looked back up to Eren.

"How do you even make something like this?" Levi looked back down to the sculpture, tracing his hands gently over the nose.

Eren turned to the man. "How much?"

The man shrugged. "... 30 dirhams?"

Eren panicked internally. "I only brought 20 for the whole day. The most I could give you is 15."

The man frowns, gesturing to the item, still in Levi's hands. "Look at it! Do you see the care it took to come this far unbroken? It is nearly worth twice what I am giving it to you now."

"What about some pearls? In an exchange?" Eren dug into his bag near his hip, pulling out a couple small pink pearls, already sanded and shining. The man reached forward, Eren depositing the spheres into the man's hand. He seemed to think for a second, bouncing the pearls gently in his hand, before closing it, smiling broadly at the two.

"It does nicely!"

Eren smiled back. "Thank you. What was your name again?"

The man beamed again, reaching out to shake Eren's hand. "Ridha."

"Eren, and this is Levi."

Ridha leaned forward. "I am about to close the stall for my, what is the word, afternoon meal? You and your partner are most welcome to join if you wish."

Eren glanced back to Levi before answering, "We aren't partners, just, um... friends."

The man gestured vaguely in the air. "Inshallah. Anyway, come, come!"

Ridha quickly closed shop, leading them through several twisting corridors to a house of traditional Berber make, beige stone and plaster making up the walls and roof in extremely precise angles. Inside, rugs were laid down in several areas, with various people lounging on top. Some women in headdress and long, colorful gowns were laying on their side, one combing through a small child's hair back, another with a newborn to her breast. Several men were gathered in another corner, laughing around a tray of tea.

"This way, please." Ridha gestured to the stairs. The next floor was mainly bare as well, a small table place near the wall furthest from them. A couple more men were seated around on pillows, taking turns passing a hose connected to a tall vase-like object, blowing smoke toward the sky as they continued talking animatedly in Berber. Eren and Levi approached, the men not looking up.

Ridha gestured to some more pillows. "Please take a seat. One of my daughters will bring us tea and food, yes?" He turned around, walking back down the stairs.

Levi turned to him, whispering, "Why are we here again?"

Eren murmured back, "I thought it would be rude not to come."

They both sat down, Eren not sure what else to do. One of the men exhaled a cloud of smoke, passing the tube to Levi beside him. He took it hesitantly, looking confused. The man, showing him what to do, took an exaggerated inhale and exhale. Levi brought the tube to his mouth and inhaled as told. He doubled over, immediately coughing, blowing out a small cloud of smoke. The other men laughed, the first one patting Levi on the back.

"Can be rough, no?"

Levi frowned, taking another breath out of the tube. Smoke filtered out of his nose, turning and handing the pipe to Eren.

"This is fucking weird, Eren. What did you get me into?"

Eren laughed. "I have no idea." He took the pipe, inhaling as he fit the tip to his mouth. A burning sensation filled his lungs at the same time an acrid taste filled his mouth. He resisted the urge to cough, exhaling slowly.

He turned to give it back to the man next to Levi, who shook his head, speaking fast in Berber. Eren must've looked suitably confused, and the man repeated himself. 

"Take, keep, when ready,” the man motioned to Eren’s left, “give." Eren turned, watching the man to his side, a blond bearded man, talking quite animatedly with the third man, long and black-skinned and picking under his fingernails with a knife. The third man replied, accentuating his words with some knife jabs into the air.

Eren inhaled once more, feeling the burning sensation settle in his chest. He tried clearing his throat as he passed off the tube. It slowly made its way around in a circle, Levi and Eren both inhaling a couple more times. Eren had heard Berber being spoken around town by many of its inhabitants, but had never caught on to the language. He watched as the first man joined in, speaking quickly. They all laughed, the third man slapping the first on the back.

Ridha appeared again, behind two women carrying trays. They set them down in the middle near the stemmed vase. Several metal teapots were in the middle of the trays, surrounded by glass cups, finely detailed with paint in different colors. Bread was piled high, sitting next to plates of olives, cheeses, shredded lamb, and various spreads. The food was enough to feed all of the men in the room and then some.

Eren looked to Ridha as he sat down as well. "This is too much, really."

Ridha frowned. "Nonsense. You are guests, eat as much as you want. All for you. Fatima, please, pour the tea." 

One of the women knelt down by them, tucking her dress under her knees as she did so - a bright red scarf was loosely wrapped around thick, black hair, hooped earrings rustling as she bent her head down, focusing on pouring the tea into the cups. She glanced over to Levi once, mumbling something low in Berber. Ridha answered in kind, taking a cup from her. She stood up again, leaving the room.

Levi leaned forward, looking around Eren at Ridha. "What did she say?"

Ridha smiled. "She says she fancies your eyes. Tell me, Levi, are you married? Would you like a second wife?"

Pink dusted Levi's cheeks. "No, I'm not married."

"Then would you like a first wife?"

Levi frowned, reaching for his own cup of tea. Ridha laughed, throwing his head back. "To tell you truth, Fatima has rarely expressed interest in anyone I have put before her. It is nice to know it is even possible for her to like the look of someone."

Ridha smiled at them both. "Tell me, where do you live?"

Eren's head had started to buzz quietly for a minute now, and he reached up to scratch his head. His hair felt softer somehow, and he ran his own hands through the underside of it, reveling in the sensation. He looked over to the window, the light seeming to shine brighter, more luminous. It was very nice indeed; Eren chuckled quietly to himself.

Ridha spoke again. "Have you ever smoked shisha?" Eren looked to Ridha, the feeling of the movement weirdly delayed from the action of turning it.

"I haven't smoked anything before."

Ridha smiled wider, showing rows of white teeth in between a thick black beard. "Hashish can be an unusual experience for those that have never done so. I fear I should have asked before leaving you in the hands of these three." Ridha grabbed the blond man next to him by the shoulder, speaking to him in his language. The man shrugged, gesturing to Eren and Levi as he replied.

Eren turned, again somewhat distracted by the sensation, to Levi. He was sitting there, rubbing his fingertips together, staring out the open window up to the clouds floating by. It really was a beautiful day, the blue sky a nice contrast between clouds of white, their twisting arches carving out lines and shadows of grey. Eren's body seemed to cement to the ground as he watched the clouds float into and out of the window’s view for several moments.

Ridha stood next to him. "Come, I have a great place for the two of you, if you like." He beckoned with one hand when Eren sat there silent. Eren went to stand up, feeling strangely disconnected from his body, as if there was an extra step between him asking it to move, and it moving. Eren's heart rate was elevated; he could feel it bounding inside him, and he pressed down on his chest with one hand.

His other hand was pulled down suddenly, Levi grasping it to pull himself up. Levi dusted his seat off, looking up at Eren. "Sorry. My legs were stiff."

Panic ran through Eren's mind. Was Levi okay? "Oh my God, I forgot, are you alright? How're your legs? Do you need to lay down somewhere?"

Levi kept staring at his lips as Eren spoke, not replying. Is he okay? Eren grabbed Levi's shoulders, and Levi jolted, looking up at him.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, yeah I'm fine. They just, um, still get tired." He smiled a little, then chuckled. "Sorry, you just.. nothing."

They followed Ridha down the stairs and out the back of the house, to a small enclosed space, walls of the same material of the house rising up on all sides. Orange and olive trees swayed gently with the wind, reaching tall over small dirt paths in a perpendicular pattern to each other. In the middle of the garden were some wooden posts holding up thin cloth, casting a shadowed area over a raised circular platform of pale stone. A small fountain was placed in the center, water trickling out the top, with more pillows placed around along the ground.

Ridha spread his arm toward the center, winking at Eren conspiratorially. "Please, make yourself at home. Fatima will bring out the food for you." The man then turned, leaving them alone in the garden.

"It's... beautiful." Levi said softly. Eren watched as Levi stepped forward into the sunlight, reaching up and rubbing his thumb over a green orange leaf. He spoke up to the tree. "I haven't felt leaves in... quite a while." Levi was silent for a moment. "It still takes some getting used to, being on land again."

Eren resisted the urge to walk up behind him, wrapping his arms around Levi. Instead - "Are your legs okay?"

Levi looked back to him, a small smile on his lips. "They're actually feeling fine right now. Are you thinking of challenging me to a foot race?"

Eren stood there, fixated on Levi's face. Light flickered over it as it filtered through the leaves, flitting up and over forehead, nose, lips, over an eye, flashing with deep blue.

Those eyes blinked, wincing with pain. "On second thought, I might take you up on the offer of laying down." 

Levi turned and walked further into the small garden, passing by the fountain and dumping roughly to the ground under an olive tree near the far wall. Eren followed, lowering himself down by Levi onto his back. The grass was warm and soft underneath, tickling the backs of his arms and neck. He closed his eyes, hands resting on his stomach. The wind felt delightful as it brushed through his hair, tugging at the strands across his face. As he lay there, the space in his mind tugged, stretched, feeling like his thoughts had split in two, between being an observer, and a thinker. He felt he could observe his own thoughts. They floated around in his mind, nothing really sticking in place. The smoke had obviously altered him somehow; it felt nice, a pressure on his mind, like a large warm blanket had been laid behind his eyes. He stretched his feet, popping his ankles.

Eren felt Levi’s arm twitch next to his, feeling their skin brush as they lay there beside each other. They both laid there for a while, not talking, listening to the leaves rustling above their heads.

Eren interrupted the silence. “You thinking about marrying Fatima?”

Levi’s laugh echoed off the wall behind them. “Hey, I’m considering it. Then I’d get this great garden.”

Eren chuckled. “What if I ask her first?”

“She is way out of your league.”

Eyes closing, Eren whispered, up and out into the wind. "What are you going to do now?"

Levi laughed softly. "Hange just asked me the very same thing yesterday."

"What did you tell her?"

Levi was silent for a while. Eren felt his heartbeat, steady, beating up against his sternum. He reached out with his fingers, brushing against Levi's hand, slowly wrapping them around it. Eren opened his eyes, looking sideways to Levi, who had his other arm resting over his face, nose in the crook of his elbow.

"You could stay with us.” Eren inhaled. “You could stay with me."

Levi didn't react for several long minutes. Eren brushed his thumb on Levi's palm, watching the light shine through the dancing leaves above. He felt patches of warmth come and go across his face, brushed away again by the cool breeze.

Levi exhaled slowly. "I... I don't like seeing that place, even from above the surface. It reminds me of the last 20 years of barely surviving, barely.. barely living." He sighed. "But. Hange seems to think they still need me, for some reason." Levi smirked from under his arm. "Can't blame them. The brats can barely tell their ass from their head." Levi laid his arm down, turning his face toward Eren. "Would it... Would it be okay if I stayed there? To make sure they were alright?" Levi's eyes gazed at him levelly.

Eren couldn't tell what he was saying. To stay with him, or to stay and be with him? He looked down at their hands, not wanting to see Levi's reaction when he asked.

"And... what about me?"

Levi was silent for a moment. "I'm... sorry for kissing you back that time. That night."

_ Oh. _ Eren laid there, staring at Levi’s hand, small in his own.  _ That’s… it then _ . Eren went to pull his hand away.

Levi grabbed Eren’s hand in his own, pulling it back down by his side. Eren looked at at Levi in surprise, Levi looking back, breathing hard, face set determinedly.

"Don't leave, I'm not finished. I meant, I'm sorry for kissing you, because I didn't know you. I just... wanted a distraction. You can be very distracting, I hope you know." Levi's eyes drifted over his face, pausing. "I'd like.. very much to get to know you more. If that is okay."

"Yes," Eren blurted out, turning on his side to Levi, nodding rapidly. "Yes, yeah."

He reached out, threading his fingers through Levi's hair, pulling it back gently as he wrapped his hand around the back of his head. He leaned in to kiss him, then stopped, licking his lips as he looked down at Levi's. They were so close. Right there.

"I - Can I?" He glanced up to Levi's eyes; they closed a bit as he nodded.

Eren leaned forward, placing his lips against Levi's.

There was a crash, and they both looked back to the house. Fatima was jumping in place, holding her foot and cursing. She left the tray she had dropped on her foot, stomping back inside, still yelling expletives.

Eren jumped up, a jolt of guilt running through him. He looked back down to Levi, who was grinning and reaching up with an arm.

“You’re gonna have to give me a hand up.”

Ridha met them at the doorway to the garden, smiling ruefully. "Fatima came back inside yelling about how you two were soiling her favorite reading spot."

Eren rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Ridha. This is your home, and -"

The man held his hand up, eyes twinkling. "No need to apologise. Such is the magic of a garden for you, after all." He turned to lead them out. "Come, let us grab your gift from the shop. I am simply glad you had a pleasant time in my home." He looked them both over, laughing as he turned and walked out of the front door.

He yelled from around the corner. "You might want to brush the grass from your hair!"


	15. Chapter 15

It was so warm. That’s what Eren remembered. The water was really warm that day on the sea. He had fallen into the water; how had he fallen off? He was out there fishing, but no. He was too young to be able to fish. Couldn't even haul in the heavy netting. His dad could, though, had strong arms and scars over them, too. He had sat on his dad lap one night by the fire in their home.

"Dad, how did you get these scars?" Eren had asked earlier, tracing his small fingers over them, eyes going between them and the fireplace, then back to the scars.

"Rope burn. You let that net slip back into the water, and it burns you the whole way down. Son, if you ever feel tugging on the end, something bigger than you, let it go. It ain't worth being pulled in after it." Eren felt his dad go silent then, but he was watching the fire burn, and he didn't turn around.

Eren had struggled then, on the ocean, for a while. He knew how to swim but had nothing to swim toward. The sea was the only thing visible, save the birds, and they didn't come help that day. He was getting tired, keeping himself afloat. He could hear his dad calling in the distance, over the sound of the wind. Sometimes a wave would lift him up, only to see the boat further than before.

The next time a wave lifted him, the boat was gone.

Suddenly, he kicked something solid. He felt it turn under his foot, and then was gone. Splashing, just a couple feet away, and shadows, big as those whales he saw with his dad the other day. Rolling waves now, and white water. A giant hand pierced the waves, and dropped down as fast as it had appeared. 

Then, all movement stopped.

At this point Eren was gasping for breath, kicking erratically. He was tired; he couldn't swim much longer. It had been over an hour, though he couldn't have known that. It felt like days already. He felt water rush over his head. His eyes were open, and he saw a giant, just feet away, suspended and unmoving in the water, spears sticking out from various places. Three men, no, fish, surrounding the corpse. Men with tails? That’s not right.

The memories get fuzzy after that. What had happened? It's a blur. Some things came through though, when he really thought about it, which he normally didn't. Soft grey eyes, so close to his own. And a name.

_ Levi. _


	16. Chapter 16

"Y'have a razor?"

“Eh?” Eren looked up at Levi from scrubbing plates in the basin outside, and chuckled. “You do know you don’t have to sleep directly on your face.”

Levi rubbed his face, trying to open his eyes. They felt like sand had been poured into them overnight. He scowled at Eren from beneath his hand. “N’used to beds yet.”

Eren just laughed again, gathering up the clean eating utensils, and walking back into the house, setting them at the edge of the table. Levi followed him as he went over to one of the communal chest of drawers, pulling out a sharpened blade the men of the place used for shaving and handing it to Levi. He rolled it in his hand while he scratched at his cheek. Stubble had started growing over Levi’s face in the past couple days, and now Eren ran his hand over it softly. 

"Are you sure you wanted to keep it shaved?"

Levi frowned, scratching at the other side. "It's... itchy. I haven't ever had a beard before, no reason to start now."

Eren asked as they both walked back out. "How does that work, by the way? Did you just never grow body hair?"

Levi shrugged, walking over to Eren's stool by the wash basin. He pointed with the blade. "You mind?" Eren shook his head; Levi sat down on the stool, leaning over the still water. He saw his reflection in it - hair was sticking up in random areas, a dark beginning of a beard shadowing most of his lower face. He frowned at the mirror, turning his face from side to side. He had seen other men shave before, obviously. Just… start at the top?

He dipped his hands into the water, throwing water onto his face, gasping as the frigid water slapped him awake. He brought more water to his hair, trying to get the edges back down. Levi rubbed at his head as he looked at Eren from under dripping bangs; the taller man was standing nearby, arms crossed over his bare chest, pants hanging loosely around narrow hips. Levi wondered how much force was needed to pull them off…

He grunted and leaned back over the settling water, answering Eren’s question. "I don't know, it just never happened. None of the men underwater grew body hair. Don't ask me why 'cause I have no fucking idea." 

Levi drew the blade over the top of the hair near his ear, immediately drawing a thin line of blood. Levi grimaced, slinging drops of blood off the blade, and tried again, pulling his skin down at his neck to let the knife glide better. "It would be better to ask Hange about that stuff."

"What about before you, you know...?"

"I was 12, you idiot."

"Oh. Yeah." Eren sat down on a flat, large rock near the stool. "You never finished telling me about how it happened, by the way."

_ Because I don’t want to fucking remember _ . Levi looked at Eren; his face was close to Levi’s own, wide green eyes set and determined. He rinsed the knife off in the water, repositioning himself over it, elbows on his knees and looking down as he spoke. "My mom and I used to live with her brother, my uncle. His name was Kenny." 

Levi glanced at Eren for a moment before looking back down, talking in between strokes of the blade, rinsing it off each time. "He found me, somehow. He had turned into a mer a year previously, just after we heard the news of his death. I told you I had seen him at the docks that day."

Eren nodded. Levi's jaw tightened, pausing. "He, well, he killed me, to be short." He looked over to Eren sitting silently beside him. "He wanted someone he knew to live with him in hell." Levi shrugged, face grim.

Eren was silent, processing Levi's story.

"You've heard of it before, people being dragged into the water."

Eren found his voice after a moment. "I mean, yeah, but -"

"By people they know."

Eren paused again. "... Yeah."

Levi turned back to the basin. "Some people get lonely apparently." He chuckled even as he frowned. "Fucking selfish bastard."

They both sat there, not talking, listening to the knife scraping over Levi's face. He finished, leaning over further and splashed the water on his whole face, then turned to Eren. "How did I do?"

Levi felt a small trail of water run off the end of some hair, and Eren reached over, wiping it off his chin with a hand. Eren’s mouth apparently couldn’t stop from twitching into a smile.

“You… you missed some.”

Eren took the knife from Levi's lap, scooting closer. He leaned forward, legs on either sides of Levi's knees, and tugged on Levi's neck from the front, carefully pulling the knife over skin. Levi watched Eren’s face as he worked; Eren’s eyes flashed as they flicked over Levi’s face, following the blade back and forth. Golden brown curls fell loosely over his brow, shifting in time with the movements of those long arms, muscles flexing occasionally. His torso flexed as well as Eren shifted even closer to Levi, his own knees now jammed in between Eren’s thighs.

Eren sat back, looking at Levi before pronouncing all was well. Levi looked down into the water; his face was freshly bare, hair wet but falling in a neater position than when he had woken up, at least. His eyes still had dark circles under them - they seemed to be permanent.  _ Maybe Eren would prefer someone who doesn’t look chronically depressed. _

Instead of saying that out loud, Levi ran his hand over his face, looking up. "Thanks for doing that for me."

Eren leaned forward, hands on Levi's knees, kissing Levi gently on the mouth, lips warm against his. "You're welcome." He pulled back only enough to see Levi’s eyes, a small smile on his face. Eren paused for a second. “Come with me tonight. Come out with us.”

Levi rocked on his seat, debating whether or not to move toward or away from the taller man, head tilted back so he could look into Eren’s eyes. “Definitely not.”

Eren’s eyes only danced as his smile slowly grew, his breath ghosting over Levi’s lips as he spoke low. “Come dancing with me.”

“I don’t know how.”

A hand slipped into Levi’s damp hair from behind, Eren dropping his gaze to Levi’s mouth. “I can teach you. You can stand on my feet.” Eren flashed white teeth, smiling triumphantly, before leaning into that tiny space between their faces, kissing Levi again over his scowl. Levi tightened his lips even more, not wanting to give the bastard what he wanted. Levi felt the tip of Eren’s tongue running along the seam of his mouth, sending shivers up his spine.  _ Well... _

Levi spoke, lips brushing against Eren's, voice quiet. "I actually had a date planned for tonight."

"Bring them with you." Eren nibbled at Levi's lower lip, then bit down, possibly harder than he intended. 

Something broke inside Levi like a dam. Maybe it was his own fucking stubbornness, who knew. He growled, reaching up and grabbing behind Eren’s head, fisting through that long hair, pulling Eren down to his level. He found a patch of smooth skin below Eren’s jaw, sucking and biting at it. Broad hands wrapped around his back, trying to pull him nearer, but Levi’s knees were still in between them. Eren seemed to realize this at the same time as Levi, and he let go, bending down and wrapping his hands around Levi’s calves, pulling Levi’s legs up and over his. Eren surged forward, pressing his body against Levi's, their torsos flush together from the hips up.  _ Fuck, he feels nice. _ He held onto Eren, nails digging into bare skin.

A growl vibrated in the chest against him, Eren trying to reach down to Levi’s neck and failing. He grabbed Levi’s hair, tugging Levi's head to the side so he could reach, sucking at a patch near the base of Levi's neck near his hairline. A moan escaped Levi; he found himself running his hands up Eren’s back, trying to pull him even closer.

Thumbs dug into the base of his throat, forcing his head upwards. Eren was looking down at him, eyes alight, searching, looking everywhere. Levi realized he probably looked a fucking mess, hair flipped over wrong, eyes half closed, breathing harshly into Eren’s face. It also seemed exactly what Eren wanted to see, since he bent down again, kissing Levi passionately.

"God damn it, too fucking early!"

They both looked, still breathing hard, over to where the guy named Connie was standing in the doorway, a hand over his eyes, bucket in one hand. He yelled back into the house. "Jean, how much do I owe you again?"

There was a loud crash inside the building, and Jean appeared in the doorway, running up behind Connie. He grinned, slapping Connie on the shoulder.

"I fucking knew it wouldn't take a week! Pay up, Connie."

Levi realized how they must look, and tried extricating himself from being so intimately tied around Eren. A strong arm flexed around his lower back, keeping him in place, the other running through Levi’s hair. Eren whispered in his ear, breath hot. “Don’t leave.”

"God damn it," Connie repeated. "Why do I have to see this so early in the morning, anyway?"

Jean was still grinning, leaning against the door frame. "I don't know, it's kinda hot."

Eren leaned back from Levi and yelled over to Jean. "That's because you're a fucking pervert! And while we're on the subject, stop watching Mikasa getting changed in the morning!"

Jean straightened up, his face reddening savagely. He stomped back inside without replying. 

Eren looked down at Levi, stroking a lock of hair back. “I still want you to come with me.”

“Persuade me then.”

The hand holding his back flexed as Eren grinned. “Oh, please let me try.”

* * *

  
  


They all walked into the tavern near dusk, the noise of the building heard for several minutes before actually reaching the broken hovel. It was away from the town's residential area, tucked in between fishery and merchant storage buildings down at the docks. Ship masts loomed behind the building like giant trees, illuminated faintly from some outside torches. Levi had just walked into the building, not entirely expecting the leaning structure to stand the whole night. Dust and mud mixed with the straw on the floor; in the corner, a large fire was built, throwing off both light and warmth in waves. Everyone present seemed already entirely too inebriated, loud laughter and some screeching bouncing off the floor and walls in an overwhelming mix of noise. Most of the tables were filled already with an assortment of people of different genders, all mostly dressed in poor or shipmen's clothing. Levi fixated on one woman, passed out face first on a wooden table, her friend twirling a lock of the unconscious woman's hair in one hand, sipping her beer in the other. A man was leaning over to the still-awake woman, his hand behind her head, whispering in her ear. She seemed quite bored with the whole situation.

Sasha, the one with red hair tied in a ponytail, ran off to the bar. "I'm gonna get food!"

"That's actually very nice." Levi remarked.

Eren chortled. "Oh, she didn't mean for the rest of us. Here, let's grab a table."

The whole party pushed through the crowd milling about, Jean leading the way, shoving his elbows into the unfortunate persons closest.

"Out of the way assholes!"

Eren had grabbed Levi's hand to pull him through the throng behind him. Levi leaned forward. "Is he always like that?"

Eren answered by yelling up toward Jean, over the heads of the rest of the group in front of him. "Yeah, Jean's always been a fucking prick! These are nice people, don't be a dickhead!"

"Hey!" A voice shouted by the bar. "Speak for yourself, laddy, there ain't nobody nice in this dive hole!"

Some people shouted in agreement, incoherent among the general noise of plates scraping, people yelling over each other, the wind howling through the walls between wooden slats. There were three men in the far corner singing at each other, accentuating each chorus end by bringing their wooden mugs together in a rattling clank, sending droplets of beer flying. The entirely too-powerful amount of noise and people were brought together with the pervasive stench of unwashed bodies. The only reason the warmth given off by the fire wasn't stifling was due to the small cool breezes that wafted through the building.

Eren had pulled him to the table, already covered in used mugs. "Only the finest." Eren motioned toward the bench, grinning. Levi took a seat, scowling in return. 

"Okay, wait here. I'll go grab some drinks." Eren turned, pushing his way to the bar. Levi looked over to see one of the men in the singing group had fallen down, clutching his mug overhead in an attempt to save the beer and bowling backwards into a petite woman, knocking her down to the ground. The large bald man that had had his arm around the woman's shoulders picked up the downed man by the shirt, dragging him out the back door.

Levi pointed. "Should we be concerned about that?"

Sasha appeared at the table, slapping her plate down on the opposite side of him, the surface piled high with various meats, and potatoes, gravy poured over all of it. She answered him, mouth already full of food.

"Probably gonna slug it out behind the building. They'll be fine."

“So, shorty.” Jean nodded to Levi from his seat by Mikasa on the other side of the table. “What’s your deal? Where did you come from anyway?”

Levi frowned at him. “Does it matter?”

“Well, I mean, yeah. Just wondering, you know? You showed up out of nowhere.”

Armin answered before Levi could, sitting to Levi’s right. “Jean, come on, that’s a little rude, you know. If he hasn’t told us where he’s from yet, then he obviously doesn’t want to say. That’s his business.” Armin glanced over at Levi with a small smile.

“Well that’s bullshit! What did you do, murder someone? No,” Jean continued, “are you running from your family? Did you murder your family?”

“Do I look like I fucking kill things for fun?”

Jean threw his hands out in front of him, yelling, “Yes! Yes you do!”

Eren returned then, grasping at mugs in his hand. "Alright guys, Leeland said we have to pay him back tomorrow by cleaning his boat hull." The table collectively groaned, but still accepted their drinks eagerly. Eren reaching close behind Levi to give a drink to Armin sitting beside him, leaning to kiss the crook of Levi's neck as he did so.

The heat and noise and general stench of humans became somewhat bearable after the couple hours or so of steadily drinking. Levi's knees and hands were tingling as he accepted his fifth mug of beer. The liquid tasted like shit going down, but as Levi's head started buzzing, decided he could bear with it. He rolled his neck back and forth, liking the stretch, the group talking about various shit around him. For a while now, Eren had been playing under the hem of his shirt, running his fingertips in little trails along Levi's lower back. It gave him chills, not wanting Eren to stop. He closed his eyes, feeling his mind slowly circling.

Connie looked around, eyes not really focusing on anyone in particular. "Hey guys,” he half-shouted over the noise of the bar, “there's that new ship out in the middle docks. Wanna go throw rocks at it?"

"What are you, a child?" Jean answered scornfully, looking around the group for support.

Eren yelled in the din over Levi's head at Jean. "Don't insult him just because you want to do it, too."

Connie's eyes closed for a second, then widened slowly, turning to Sasha. "Hey Sash, I'm thinking of a song."

Sasha’s head had slowly been slumping to the table for the past several minutes; it now shot up, her eyes both in different stages of openness. "SOG’N!”

Connie started banging on the table to steady beat, rattling the cups. Levi grabbed his out of the way, taking another swig. He thought he might need it for what was apparently coming next. Connie started belting out a tune, standing first on the bench, then jumping up to the table top, stamping his foot to a fast beat. Almost all of the others joined in quickly, Eren and Jean both banging their fists against the table as they belted up in unison with Connie. Mikasa sat silently, nibbling carefully on a chicken wing. All the cups were rattling off the edges to the ground, spilling beer onto the floor that mixed with the other suspicious fluids in the dirt.

"Apparently this is a group activity," Levi muttered. It felt like one of the most hilarious things he's said to date, and started laughing as Connie kept belting out what passed as a song. Some people behind him had started banging their own table, watching the spectacle. The thudding of the whole place seemed to vibrate Levi from within, shaking things up that suddenly seemed too full to be shaking. He realized he was full to bursting, and he bolted up. The room spun as he caught himself on the table, his head flying a mile high. His bladder still shouting out, he quickly tumbled out the door of the bar, using the walls for support. 

Levi reached the corner, deciding it was far enough from the entrance, and relieved himself.  _ God damn, that was close _ . The wind chilled his forehead and back; he realized he had a trickle of sweat running down between his shoulder blades. 

Levi glanced over to where a man had stumbled out of the bar. The man stopped, turning in the direction of Levi. The man shouted toward him. “Hey, how much?”

Levi ignored him, tucking himself back into his pants. The man cupped a hand, yelling at Levi again. “Hey boy, you got a price?”

"Fuck off." Levi shouted back. The man just shrugged and kept walking, almost tripping over a foot, to wherever he was staying the night.

Back inside, Levi waited at the bar for another drink, shifting back and forth between feet, jerking back upright as he tipped a little too far to his left.  _ Shit _ . A hand grabbed his shoulder, steadying him. Levi whipped around, barely stopping in time from punching Eren right in the face.

Eren held up both hands. "Whoa, what the hell?"

Levi swayed back, looking up at Eren. He couldn't seem to rest his eyes on any certain point, everywhere was... slippery. "Sorry, I thought you were that man."

"What man?"

Levi pointed around Eren’s arm, out the door, and was confused when nobody was there. "Um.."

"Hey, you okay?" Eren was looking down, lips so close to Levi's eyes. They looked so kissable, really soft, pink. Eyebrows were drawn down, why were they doing that? Eren looked so nice when he smiled. Go back to smiling Eren, happy Eren.

Levi frowned, mimicking Eren’s face. "Why are you frowning?" Levi tilted his head back, licking his lips. Eren noticed, looking down, mouth parting slightly. Levi’s head was rushing, the heat from the fire entirely too warm. People were closed in around them, where Eren and Levi stood was a little bubble of space. He didn't like it; wanted him closer. He grabbed Eren by the shirt with both hands, hanging onto it, trying to pull him flush with his own body and ended up almost pulling himself over.

"Hey, Levi, let's get out of here." 

Levi rested his head down on Eren's chest. Tall Eren. Soft Eren. He ran his hand up and down the front of Eren. Why wasn't Eren kissing him? Made no sense. He growled into Eren's shirt, reaching up with one hand, wrapping a hand around Eren's neck, pulling, the other hand reaching down. He wanted to slide his fingers into Eren's pants, then frowned, not able to find where shirt ended and pants began. Eren's hand gently wrapped around his wrist, lifting the arm up to his face, kissing Levi's palm.

"Let's get out of here, okay?" Still having a hold on his wrist, he gently tugged Levi toward the door. He hiccuped, eyes wandering over to the corner. Mikasa and Armin were sitting on the table to either side of Sasha, still face down. Jean was yelling up lyrics to Connie, them both singing loudly.

The chilly wind blasted into him like a slap to the face as they stumbled out of the building. Levi gasped, immediately starting to shiver.  _ Oh fuck, that’s unpleasant _ . It seemed to suck away all the fogginess of his mind, though, dissipating into the frigid air. The sun had long since gone down, leaving only the night sky and the ocean breeze.

They rounded the corner of the bar to the side downwind; the air settled, the nearest torch warming the surroundings. Levi swayed in place as Eren reached over, cupping both of Levi's hands near his face, blowing warm air into the middle. It felt amazing; Levi's head tipped forward, sighing.

"You're very nice to me."

He heard Eren chuckle. "Is that a crime?"

"I didn't do anything to deserve this."

"Except literally saving my life over and over."

Levi stumbled to his left, waving a hand in Eren's face. "Besides that." He peered up at him; there it was. Eren was wearing a small smile as he looked down at Levi. He couldn’t help but smile back up, head falling back.  _ Happy Eren. Maybe I can always see Eren happy. _

"I like… you.” He scratched his face. “Yeah, you. You’re very… um..." Levi trailed off. Eren chuckled, running a hand through Levi's hair. It felt so nice, like maybe nothing bad had ever happened to him and now Eren really liked him and yeah. Really nice. Heat bloomed in his chest. He yawned.

Eren ran his hands over Levi’s arms. "Let's get you home."

"No. Why?"

"I thought you might like a bed right now."

"No." Levi twisted, staggering over a foot. "No, let's, I... I think. I don't know. But not home."

They both stumbled down the road, holding onto each other so as not to fall. They reached the outskirts of the city, walking to and then alongside the shore, following the sea back home. It was pitch black, except for their own light, cast from Levi’s hand. He had stolen a torch from the outside of the bar. “Payback,” he whispered conspiratorially to Eren.

Eren laughed. "For what?"

Levi just shrugged back. "No idea."

They had left the main path, and were passing by a grove of trees growing on the coast at this point, light bouncing off pillars of wood as they weaved beneath the branches. Eren would hold up Levi’s hand to his face, kissing the back of it every couple minutes or so as they walked. Irritation itched up Levi’s spine every time he did so, or maybe something else.  _ Stop being kind to me. _ Those eyes would crinkle a little, smiling as he brought Levi’s hand up to his mouth. 

Levi pointed with the torch out to the ocean, seen between the branches of the oaks. “Why did you bring me out here anyway?”

Eren winked at him. “Maybe I’m hoping to take advantage of you.”

"Yeah?” Levi suddenly corralled Eren into the nearest one, pushing the taller man up against it. “Something like this?”

Levi shoved the torch into the ground, and straightened up, pressing his body flush with Eren’s. He pulled Eren’s head down, growling into his ear, “I thought that’s what you wanted, right?” He shifted, grabbing Eren’s groin between them; Eren jolted, gasping. “Me doing this to you?”

Eren's voice was breathy as he spoke. "I mean... Yeah. No. I wasn't-"

Levi turned Eren’s head with a hand on his throat, starting to bite at an earlobe. Eren exhaled hard before grabbing Levi's ass with both hands, pressing Levi to his body, almost lifting him off the ground.

"You, I..." Eren bent down of his own accord now, one hand on his ass, the other wrapped behind his back, surging forward and kissing Levi deeply. His hand resituated itself, digging inside Levi's pants, resting skin to skin, fingers dipping inward. He ground his hips into Eren's, moaning, as the taller man reached to Levi's jaw, pressing a thumb into the side of his throat, partially cutting off circulation and making Levi's head swim. It was too much.

Levi jerked backward on Eren's collar, both of them losing their footing. They tumbled backward, Levi landing first, Eren almost crashing into him on top, knees thudding into the ground, hands stopping on either side of Levi's face. 

Levi laughed loudly. "I am so sorry. Sorry. I didn't know that would do that."

"You didn't know pulling me over would pull me over?" Eren asked, nuzzling Levi's neck, then biting it roughly. Levi gasped at the sensation even as he kept laughing, bucking his hips up.

"Asshole."

"You're one to talk." Eren looked down at him, those green eyes so close to his. They were half closed, lit by the fire burning heartily away to Levi's right. Eren smiled softly. Levi head jerked back as Eren yanked on his hair and burying his face into Levi's chest, nibbling over his collarbones. He heard Eren murmur into his skin as the hand around his head slipped down, rubbing against his neck. "I love how you cut your hair. So soft." The fingers tickled the edge of his hairline, a contrast to Eren's teeth nipping along his skin.

Eren dragged his body over Levi’s, moving back up to kiss him roughly, their tongues tangling together. Levi couldn’t stop shivering, just like that first night, out by the water. He supposed this was the same; they were almost near that same place, too. He thrust his hips up, almost unconsciously, looking for friction, feeling Eren’s body along his. Eren returned the favor, heavy on Levi.

“Levi, Levi please…” Eren growled into Levi’s neck. “I don’t… I -”

“You don’t know what to do.”

Eren ground his hips against Levi, nodding into his shoulder.

Levi grabbed his shoulders, pushing him to the ground beside him, wrapping his own legs up and around Eren’s hips, now on top. “Well, we can start with this.” Levi scooted down, tugging Eren’s pants with him.  _ Oh, so they do come down easily. Good information _ . Eren bucked a little bit when Levi wrapped his hand around his cock, those green eyes widening, staring into Levi’s even as he kept working it. Those eyes closed again, Eren resting his head back onto the ground, panting, eyebrows drawn together in concentration. 

“Fuck, that - fuck. God damn it, that feels so good. Levi, please…” He didn’t seem like he could even stop talking if he wanted to. Words tumbled out of his mouth as Levi kept going, the other hand resting on Eren’s chest. A slight vibration ran through it as he heard Eren moan low, hands gripping tighter around Levi’s thighs. Levi bent over him, not stopping, interrupting Eren with his lips. Eren’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, trapping Levi, Eren’s lips pressing to his bruisingly. 

Levi slackened his grip as Eren kept crushing his face against his painfully. Levi sat all the way up, wiping his face, nose throbbing. “God damn, Eren.”

“Please don’t stop.” Eren looked about as desperate as he acted - hair was tumbling out of its tie, sticking to a sweaty neck that heaved as he laid there panting, mouth open. He stared evenly up at Levi, eyes half-closed and glazed over. 

The image moved dreamlike, then disappeared, a strong gust of wind blowing out the torch at once. The darkness settled around them both as they sat there, their heavy breaths mingling into the breeze. The temperature around them dropped down a couple degrees.

He felt Eren sit up beneath him, wrapping arms around Levi’s waist, shifting Levi up until just his thin pants were separating his own ass from Eren’s cock. He whispered quietly in Levi’s ear, “I want to fuck you. Please.”

Levi exhaled sharply, angling his hips, pressing his own erection against Eren’s body.  _ Fuck yes. _ "Well, I hope you brought some sort of lubricant with you."

"What?" Eren murmured into Levi's ear, licking and sucking at an ear, breath hot.

"I lived in a literal whorehouse, you don't think I'd know how to get fucked in the ass?"

Eren just grunted. Levi pushed back, trying to stand up. Eren’s hands dug into his hips, trapping him there.

“Let’s go back.” Levi grabbed Eren’s hands, holding them out as he stood up, pulling Eren with him. 

They took turns running, stumbling, and running some more, the moonlight just barely illuminating the ground enough. Levi’s hand was gripped tightly in Eren’s as Eren led the way in the night back to the house, keeping Levi from falling more than once. Levi’s head wasn’t swimming anymore, not since the bar. The cold had stripped his mind and body, and he felt alive, filled with energy.

They reached the house, Levi pausing to push Eren against the wall outside, kissing him again. Eren whispered down in the dark between heavy breaths, “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.”

Eren pulled him closer, hands on the back of his neck. “No, I mean it. You didn’t have to stay. You could’ve gone anywhere; started a new life in the city or something. But… “ Eren leaned down to kiss him again. “Yeah, I don’t know what I was going to say. I just feel like I’ve known you so long. I don’t want you to leave.”

“That’s… I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Don’t say anything.” Eren pulled him into the house, heading to the table in the center. 

Levi walked over to the stove as Eren strode to the bed, matches in hand, lighting candles near his bed. Levi opened the jar he noticed. “Might need this,” he muttered, and went to set the jar by the bed. He stood back up, catching Eren’s gaze and turning to him. They stared at each other for a moment in the candlelight; Eren took a step toward him, coming as close as possible without touching. He ran his fingers up and down Levi’s arm, barely touching skin, as he stared down at Levi, eyes seeking something in Levi’s face.

Levi shifted to one foot. “I guess everyone’s still partying at the bar, huh?” Eren just leaned closer, their lips almost touching. “Would be a shame if anyone came right now.”

“Yeah.” Eren smiled wide, leaning down to bite along his neck under the jaw, Levi gasping.  _ You son of a bitch, you know that’s not what I meant. _ He pushed Eren away, tugging his own shirt off as Eren did the same, them starting a small pile of clothes near the bottom of the bed.

“That’s much better.” Eren pressed Levi backward, until he sat on the bed. Eren went to his knees, leaning between Levi’s legs, looking up at him. “Can I take these off too?”

Levi nodded, leaning back on his arms, feet planted on each side of Eren. He felt Eren’s fingers slipping into his pants, pulling them down, neither of them breaking eye contact as Levi lifted his hips, the pants sliding down to the floor. Eren glanced down, one eyebrow raising for just a moment. He licked his palm, reaching out to grab Levi’s cock, starting to stroke it. Levi sighed, his head falling back. That warm hand was making small noises as he kept going. Eren leaned over him, kissing down his chest and stomach. Levi grabbed his hair with one hand, making Eren look up at him. 

“Lick it.” Eren’s mouth opened further as he paused, eyes widening slightly. He leaned down, running his tongue right up the underside. Levi arched his back, a groan escaping him. He hadn't even touched himself in the past week, not really sure what would even happen if he had. Maybe dust would just come out.

“Shit, I change my mind. I… ah.” Levi gasped as Eren ran his tongue over the tip. “No, seriously, wait.” Levi jerked away, pulling his legs onto the bed, scooting back into the middle of the bed. Eren paused, just looking at him, hands on the edge of the bed, eyebrows raised.

“I - I’ve never, um…”

Eren was still by the edge of the bed; understanding dawned in those green eyes. “Oh. Oh,” he drew out. A wide smile grew on his face. “Right.” Eren grinned impossibly wider.

It made Levi suspicious. He frowned at Eren. “What?”

Eren didn’t answer him, climbing up on the bed slowly. “When’s the last time?”

Levi fidgeted, looking over to the wall. “Never, asshole.”

Eren chuckled, running a hand up Levi’s thigh. “Is that why you’re always…” Levi looked back over to him. He was mock scowling, eyebrows drawn down, mouth turned down severely. Levi glared back, pulling the pillow behind him out, swinging it at Eren. Eren giggled, blocking, grabbing the pillow and flinging it away behind him as he pressed forward, body between Levi’s legs, resting on hands that gripped around Levi’s waist heavily. Levi’s breath left him, it all being pushed out by the weight of Eren's body. He inhaled, ragged, as Eren mouthed at his neck.

Eren moved his hands, one moving to his side, the other reaching between them to grip at Levi’s cock again. Levi was panting, half from trying to get his breath back, the other from wanting more. 

Eren whispered in his ear, “I feel so honored that you waited for me, then.” Levi just groaned, reaching up to fist at Eren’s hair. Eren stared down at him, face hungry as his hand tightened more, still stroking. Levi closed his eyes, his head back, panting, hips bucking up into Eren’s hand occasionally. God, it felt fucking good. Levi's entire body twitched as Eren leaned back down, running wet lips back over the end.

Eren spoke in between licks at Levi’s cock. “Tell me. Tell me what else I can do.”

Levi’s brain wasn’t working at the moment, it had actually decided to leave a couple minutes ago. “... Hands.”

Eren licked his hand again, the wetness making small noises as he worked Levi faster. Levi bucked. “I’m already using them.”

“No, uh - fuck…" Levi groaned. "The, the oil…”

He heard Eren exhale sharply. “For me?”

Levi glanced down at Eren leaning over his legs. “No, for -” he gasped as Eren twisted his hand just right. “For me first.”

Eren grinned up at him, leaning up to kiss Levi. He grabbed Levi under both knees, hitching them higher, spreading Levi, still looking down at him, some stray hairs framing Eren’s focused eyes. “Stay.”

He bent sideways, down to the ground at the foot of the bed, pouring some oil over both his hands, coating those wide fingers. Levi shifted, not knowing what to do with his own, and throwing them up behind his head, still awkwardly exposed.  _ I guess it’s a good thing it’s not cold in here? _

His mind blanked out again as Eren rewrapped his hand around Levi, his now-oiled hand stroking him faster than before. He felt one of his legs twitch. It was so slippery and warm as Eren worked him even faster. He felt something growing inside him, warmth and pressure. 

“Ah, shit!” He gasped out as Eren brought another hand to his ass. “Fuck, that, that’s … okay that’s sensitive.” He couldn’t stop his legs from moving, trying to get away or get nearer from the sensation of Eren’s fingers, he couldn't decide.

He heard Eren chuckle softly. “Yeah, looks like it.” The hand wrapped around his cock sped up, gripping tighter.

“No, God, don’t -” Levi choked, hands grabbing into the mattress below his head.

“Why not?” 

Levi couldn’t reply; pleasure flooded his body, and he shouted out, kicking his hips off the bed as he came, light bursting behind closed eyes.

His body felt weirdly relaxed a couple moments later as he finally looked down; Eren’s hand was still wrapped around his leaking cock, twitching occasionally, sending small waves of electricity into Levi’s lower back. Eren was still wearing that stupid grin; Levi chuckled and let his head fall back. His mind was floating.

“You look like you enjoyed that more than me.”

“You looked amazing.”

Levi threw an arm over his face, hiding a wide smile.  _ Not far off from how I feel _ .

Eren’s other hand hadn’t left him either, and now fingers dipped in where they were placed. Levi grunted as he felt Eren’s finger go inside him. It felt… weird. Different. 

“Is this what you meant? Before?”

Levi nodded under his arm, hips twitching as he felt another pulse of cum leave him.

“Is this okay?”

Levi inhaled deeply, trying to calm his breathing. “Honestly, you can do whatever you want to me right now.”

The hand below stilled, then started working more eagerly, the sensation of something going in and out of him sending a shiver up his spine. “Well I want to do this.” Levi pulled his arm back behind his head, looking up at Eren, who leaned over him then, hand by his face, bending down to kiss him gently. Levi kissed him back lazily, completely lacking any energy. He gasped against Eren’s mouth as he felt another finger slipping in beside the first. It wasn't necessarily painful, just… a lot. 

Then, they suddenly disappeared. Eren was shifting above him, quickly kicking his pants off behind him. Levi watched as he swooped down, grabbing the jar of oil, pouring a puddle into his palm, stroking the liquid over his erect cock, glancing between Levi’s spread legs and his face. 

“You know I was just thinking about this yesterday.”

Levi raised an eyebrow, a line of embarrassment creeping back up his spine as he laid there under Eren’s gaze. “My asshole?”

Eren fell forward, now left arm by Levi’s head. He felt hot breath brush his ear as Eren answered, “You beneath me while I fucked you.”

Levi moaned deep as he felt Eren press inside him. He instinctively tried scooting away; Eren’s hands went to his hips, pressing him down into the bed, holding him, groaning low in Levi’s ear. There was so much pressure, bordering on pain. They both stilled as Eren’s whole body pressed flush with his. 

“Shit, that’s…”

Eren pulled his head back, searching Levi’s face. “Are you okay?”

Eren moving had shifted where they were joined, and Levi grimaced for a moment. “Yeah, just… not what I was expecting.”

Eren propped himself up on both hands, looking down at Levi. “I can - fuck, you feel nice. I can stop, though.”

He pulled back slowly; Levi gasped, the sensation felt so…  _ good _ . Eren glanced down in panic from the noise, obviously interpreting it as pain. Levi grabbed the back of Eren’s neck. “No! No. Don’t… stop. Don’t leave. Not yet.”

Eren glanced down where he was buried inside Levi as he slowly pressed back in. He whispered, “fuck,” under his breath, almost to himself. He started moving faster, the push and pull of Eren’s cock as it drove into him over and over, the pleasure and the pain, was driving him insane. Levi laid there, head thrown to one side, panting into the crook of his elbow. He felt Eren lean down, sucking hard on his neck, groaning into the flesh.

“Levi, fuck, you feel amazing.” Eren was grunting even as he spoke, all of it coming out strained. “Those little noises you’re making every time I push deeper into you.” 

He bit down hard. Levi shouted out; it was all too much to do anything but lay there. It seemed to do something to Eren, who shifted back, straightening up. He grabbed Levi’s knees, resting his weight on the backs of Levi’s thighs, causing Levi’s body to bend in on itself. Eren resumed thrusting into him, faster. The new position was something else; it was too much suddenly, way more than before. White-hot electricity shot through his pelvis.

“Fuck, fuck! Eren!” Levi’s hands shot back, trying to grab onto the wall. His brain wasn’t working, overwhelmed with the sensation that bordered too closely to pain. Eren kept going, hips slapping at Levi’s ass, obscene wet noises echoing around the building. Levi cried out once again, feeling more come leak out from him. Eren’s fingers dug into his skin, his breaths coming in as short gasps. It was all too much; too much pleasure, it washed Levi in waves, every stroke of Eren’s cock pushing into him sending another one, obliterating all line of thoughts. He laid there senseless, overstimulated, eyes closed.

“Levi, I,” Eren panted. “I’m gonna -” and bent over Levi quickly, groaning as he buried himself deep inside Levi, hips pistoning into him hard but slower now. Eren was breathing right over his own mouth, their heavy breaths mixing together, Eren’s arms wrapped around the top of Levi’s head. Thrusting once more, then stilling, Eren dived in, kissing Levi open-mouthed, their tongues mingling together even as they worked to catch their breath. 

Levi opened his eyes as Eren pulled back, a wide grin on his face. Sweat was dripping down off the tips of Eren’s hair near his temple; Levi ran his hand over Eren’s face, who laughed as he did so. Levi wiped the hand off on Eren’s shoulder, smiling.

“Gross.”

Eren grinned stupidly, kissing Levi again, elbows wrapping in to cradle Levi’s face. They stayed that way for a minute, Eren laying on top of him and kissing all over Levi, up his nose, forehead, down to his neck. 

He felt himself flush, and he pushed Eren away by the chest. “Okay, get off, you’re crushing my dick.” He grimaced as Eren pulled out slowly, suddenly feeling an absence left behind. 

Eren trailed kisses down Levi’s sweaty chest, suddenly cold in the air. Levi shivered and wrapped his arms around Eren’s back, bringing him back down on top of him. 

“We both feel disgusting.”

Eren jumped off the bed. “I can fix that.” He jogged over to the table, dipping one of the cleaner rags on the table into a bucket of water placed on the ground. He wrung it out and walked back over to Levi, handing him the damp towel with a small smile. “Here.”

At least Levi was able to wipe most of the mess off his stomach, feeling more human again. He looked up to Eren who was standing by the bed, hands on his hips, watching Levi.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Levi sighed, trying to hand back the rag to Eren, who refused it, shaking his head. “You keep saying that. I don’t think you know what it means.” Levi tossed the piece of cloth to the floor. “I was literally wiping body fluids off myself.”

Eren straddled Levi carefully, reaching down and gathering Levi to his chest, both of them sitting upright. He cradled Levi’s head to his shoulder, murmuring in his ear. “Was that okay?” 

Levi pulled him closer, resting his cheek against Eren’s skin. He could hear Eren’s heartbeat faintly, steady and slow. “God, Eren, of course.” Levi looked up at him. “No, I’m going to leave you tonight for making me come everywhere.”

Eren’s serious face melted a bit, and he bent down to press his lips against Levi’s softly, arms gripping tighter around his back. He stroked Levi’s hair back, mouthing so quietly Levi wasn’t sure he even spoke out loud, “Good.”


	17. Chapter 17

Eren opened an eye as a ray of light pierced the darkness. His house, weirdly enough, had not changed since last night, still smelling faintly of the sea and old musty wood. Something was making small scratching noises in the corner of the building near the cabinets, most likely Slim Jim having cornered a mouse underneath. 

He tried stretching, his right arm dead asleep. A weight was next to him, trapping his arm down. 

_ Oh. Oh yeah _ .

He smiled, memories of last night returning. Levi was still beside him, laying on his side, black hair ruffled, a curl sticking straight into the air with the smell of smoke lingering on him from last night. He shifted in his sleep just then, pressing back into Eren and letting out a small exhale. The noise turned into a small grunt as Eren wrapped his free arm around Levi's waist, pulling him in snugly.

"How do you feel?" He whispered toward Levi.

The answer was muffled into the bed. "Hmmrh."

"Please tell me you remember last night."

Levi pulled the blanket further over his head. "No, what happened?"

"Please don't joke about that."

Levi rolled around toward Eren, legs intertwining with his. He smiled softly up at him, eyes still closed, mumbling almost to himself. "Of course I remember. That's what happens when I listen to Mahler with wine. I end up draining the whole bottle, that dramatic son of a bitch."

"What?" Eren shook Levi's shoulder lightly; the smaller man was already asleep again, little puffs of air coming out of the mouth mashed against his chest. He seemed so... innocent? Maybe not the right word.  _ Relaxed _ . He watched Levi sigh heavily in sleep, his usual frown gone. 

_I wonder what he dreams about_. Eren hugged him closer, kissing the top of his head before leaning his cheek against it, staring up to the ceiling. Dust motes were floating in lazy patterns, winking in and out of the light rays that streamed through wooden boards near the top of the wall. The house was so silent Eren could hear his own heartbeat in his ears; slow, steady, marking the flow of time as he laid there, running his fingertips over Levi's back. They followed nonsensical lines over warm skin, up between shoulder blades, tracing the line where hair met neck, then over shoulders again. They had healed so fast in just a week; where scales had been, smooth skin had replaced it. No scars, either. It was almost like this was supposed to have happened. But why?

Levi moved again, apparently finding the position uncomfortable. He pushed Eren onto his back somewhat roughly, then settled on top, head on Eren's chest, body still at his side with one leg over Eren's. Levi's arms flopped up to either side of Eren's head, and he sighed happily, relaxing immediately back into sleep. Eren tried not to move, chuckling and stroking Levi's hair back from his face. They were just shy of being long enough to tuck behind his ears, stubbornly springing back to Levi's face. Eren settled for laying his hand on Levi's back. When did he become so warm? That was different, too.

_ I wonder if he prefers this to being how he was. Maybe... maybe he misses them. The people he's been living with _ .

He grabbed Levi's arm, rolling a thick band of muscle between his fingers. Levi frowned, pulling his arm back. "Wha?"

"Levi." Eren kissed Levi's forehead. "Wake up."

"Why?" Levi rolled back over, blanket slipping off of him, baring a naked back. Eren resisted the temptation to bite all the way down those muscular ridges, instead reaching, wrapping a hand around Levi's waist and squeezing.

"I do have to earn my food here at some point. Shadis has been weirdly easy on me so far, letting me look after you."

Levi mumbled into the arm tucked under his head, drawing his legs up to his chest. "Not my problem."

Eren shrugged, standing up by the bed. It must've been hours past sunrise already.

Levi sighed, turning over to face him. "No, wait, sorry. I'm coming. Just… trying not to want to shoot myself to get rid of this headache."

Eren chuckled, confused, scratching at an itch by his shoulder. "You are really not making sense this morning."

He turned around to the sound of footsteps; Connie and Sasha walked in, Sasha's hair sticking straight up on one side of her head, Connie beside her holding one of his arms with the other. Sasha noticed them, and jabbed an elbow into Connie's side.

"Oh my God, you were right!"

"I told you." 

They both giggled hysterically to each other, both pointing over to where Eren stood naked in full view of the pair. Levi, also naked, sat up on the bed, arms crossed over his chest, the regular frown cementing over his face again. 

Levi pointed back at them. "Sasha, you were dead the last time I saw you. Start acting like it and shut the hell up."

Connie kept laughing, patting Sasha on the top of the head and standing up taller, proudly. "That's where you're wrong, shorty. My Sasha has the stomach of an ox. That weak ass beer ain't gonna kill her."

"Yeah. Stomach of a pig!" Sasha yelled out, her fist ramming into her own stomach in punctuation.

Connie turned to her, suddenly serious. "N - no, Sash, we talked about this. You can't, that's not a compliment -"

"Why? Pigs can eat literally everything. And they're so tasty...." Sasha's eyes watered, turning to Connie. "Connie, please, Maddock's place down the road has those new pigs he bought last week, they look so fat and nice -"

"Sasha, you can't steal animals, for the last time!"

Levi swung his legs off the bed, grabbing his pants balled up at the end of the bed and jerking them on over thin hips. "Okay, we can go. Anywhere but here."

* * *

  
  


The sunlight beat across Eren's back, feeling the saltwater evaporating rapidly off his skin. He sat there, wiping his mouth, having just finished off a loaf of bread he had brought with them to the ocean.

Jet black hair popped above the surface, Levi gasping for air. He flipped his hair back, looking up at Eren, breathing hard. 

Eren stood, wiping crumbs off on his pants. "That was a scary long time you were down there."

"Yeah?"

"I was going to jump in after you but I thought you might almost punch me in the throat for the third time." Eren grinned even as he rubbed his neck. 

"Probably." Levi swam over, throwing a mesh bag up onto shore, hauling himself up after it. He looked up at Eren, grinning wryly. "This brings back memories."

"How was it, by the way?"

"Well, it sucks I can't breathe underwater anymore. I thought I was going to drown all over again, but yeah. Here."

Eren grabbed the bag midair as it was tossed to him, sitting down as he set it down beside him. He smiled at Levi without opening it. "I'm really glad you're better. That you're here with me."

Levi was shaking water out of his hair with both hands; he stopped, hands still by his head, looking at Eren under his arm. An eyebrow raised as Levi answered, "Yeah, well nowhere else to go and all that."

"That it?" Eren leaned closer. "Nothing else?"

"I mean, I would leave, but there's this annoying guy that keeps making me work without pay, and dragging me to places I don't want to go, and -"

Eren silenced him with his lips, Levi kissing back hungrily, apparently expecting it.  _ Jackass _ . When he pulled away, Levi was wearing a small smile, eyes looking up at him half-closed. They sat there a while, relatively silent; Levi was playing with his right hand while Eren looked out over the water, watching the gulls swoop over the surface. 

"Does it hurt?"

"What?" Eren glanced down; Levi was bending his pointer finger in and out.

"You can't bend that finger."

"Oh. No, it's not painful or anything." He flipped his hand over, clenching a fist for show. The finger had stubbornly refused to heal, and would stay straight when he tried making a fist. "Just took some getting used to when I hold a knife. Almost cut the damn thing off the other day."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" 

Levi frowned. "What do you think?" 

It took him a minute. "Oh." Eren laughed. "Honestly, I had completely forgotten it was you who did it. I've cut my hands so often you'd think I was doing it on purpose."

Levi had gone back to bending his fingers; he turned over Eren's hands, palms down. "Where did you get these little marks? I haven't seen them before." 

Eren grimaced. The pinpoint scars had healed only somewhat, still pink and shiny, catching the sunlight. He didn't really want to tell him, though he couldn't think of any good lies. "Um... those were from when you… turned back, that night. You were trying to claw your own neck out."

"So those are from me, too?" Levi huffed, dropping Eren's hands into his lap.

"What can I say? I like it rough." Eren winked at him, a hint of a smile peeking through Levi's frown.  _ There it is _ .

They watched the waves again for a couple minutes, Levi taking a break from going back in the water.

Eren pointed to the horizon. "Do you ever think about what's on the other side?"

"The other side of what?"

Eren gestured out vaguely with an open hand. "The ocean. The water."

Levi just grunted, chin tucked to his chest, looking out to the horizon from underneath low brows.

He continued. "Well, there has to be something. Or it just ends, which would be something as well, you know?"

"Probably the same people, looking back at us, just as miserable."

A whole planet full of miserable people, with miserable lives. People dying every day with no rhyme or reason. ".... Nah. That can't be true." He smiled at Levi, who wasn't looking. "Let's swim there. Let's find out."

Levi just grunted again. "There's nothing over there."

"How do you know? Does it just go on forever?"

"The ocean goes to the end of the world."

"So there's an end? Is it flat?"

Levi sighed, tucking his arms in tighter. "Who cares?"

"I do." 

Levi looked at him then, light eyes roaming his face thoughtfully as he hummed a bit. "You really do, don't you?"

Eren just stared back at him. Has he never wondered, either? What it would be like to leave? Somewhere brand new.

"I've wondered what death would be like." Levi was still looking at him. "I can't read your mind anymore for whatever reason, but you still make those ridiculous faces, anyone could tell what you're thinking." Levi chuckled before glancing toward the shore. "You're wondering why a person that lived in the shittiest part of the world never wanted to run away. Of course I did, dipshit. But there are some things that a change of scenery doesn't fix."

He just shrugged. There wasn't anything to say to that. 

Levi stood then, twisting, stretching his back and arms, rubbing his ass after sitting on the hard rock. "Alright. Work and all that."

Eren smiled. "Sure."

They both dived into the water. Levi's tail was gone, to be sure, but he still moved through the water with ease ahead of Eren, legs kicking, soon reaching the bottom of the underwater cliff that made up the shoreline. Levi dipped his head under a shelf of rock, reaching into a circular crevice. Eren joined him, both of them prying urchins from their feeding grounds off the side of the rock with their knives, setting them gently in their bags. They swam up and down, up and down, filling their bags with the animals with each dive.

After an hour or so and the large communal bag almost filled, Eren turned to Levi as they peddled in the water, afloat.

"So what do you think?"

Levi wiped the water off his face as it dripped into his eyes. "About what?"

"You told me you spoke to Hange about what happened to you. Do you think she'll change her mind, become human again?"

Levi opened his mouth, instead a small yelp coming out. He disappeared under the water, water rushing in to fill the void.

_ No..... no. Fuck, not again, please, no _ . Eren lunged for the ridge of the shore, grabbing both of their knives.  _ I'll fucking kill them, this time _ . He dived underwater.

Levi was struggling against… Hange.  _ Oh, thank fuck _ . The large mer had completely enveloped Levi, tail whipping energetically underwater. Levi was pushing against her chest in a vain attempt to get away from her iron grip.  _ Speak of the devil _ .

They all surfaced, Levi gasping for breath. "Good fucking Lord, Hange, you almost killed me."

Levi had turned, swimming back to shore. Hange grabbed out, wrapping arms around his torso again. She cried, muffled voice in Levi's back. "Levi, I thought you were dead, you son of a bitch!"

Levi whipped around, surprise on his face. Eren was just as confused. Levi asked, "Hange, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Hange was crying openly, eyes turning red, tears mixing with the water on her face. "Levi, I thought, we all thought you were dead, after Eren took you -"

Levi interrupted her, scowling, arms raising rapid currents around him. "Hange, this isn't funny. You saw me three days ago."

Her reddened eyes widened. "I haven't seen you for weeks! We all know what happens to anyone who hasn't been in the water that long. We -"

"Hange, enough!" Levi slapped the water. "I -" Levi closed his mouth, clenching his jaw. "We've already talked. Jesus, Hange, we talked just a couple days ago."

She shook her head confusedly, looking back to Levi. "Not with me." She reached up, running a hand over Levi's cheek. "I've been looking for you every day, hoping..." Another tear ran down her face.

Levi bolted away, backing up in the water. Hange, stunned, stayed put, arm still stretched out. Eren followed, glancing once more back at Hange, as Levi scrambled up the rocky shore, tripping over a rock as he started running inland.

"Levi, wait!" Eren called after him, trying to catch up.

Levi reached a tree, collapsing onto it. Eren slowed down, walking up to Levi. The man was breathing heavily, sitting on his knees, slumped against the base of the trunk.

"...Levi." Eren honestly didn't even really know what was happening. Why did Hange act like that? Didn't Levi already explain what had happened?

"She doesn't remember." Levi looked behind him, up at Eren, his eyebrows were drawn together, half confused, half pleading. "She doesn't remember me, that I came to -" Levi stopped, just looking up to Eren. "How does she not remember?"

"I... I don't know."

Levi sat there, staring at his hands as they opened and closed, not talking. Eren reached down, taking a seat nearby.

"Didn't you say you saw Hange just a couple days ago?"

Levi was silent, still clenching his hands in his lap.  _ It doesn't make sense, though _ , Eren thought.  _ Unless she was prone to forgetting things, though nobody mentioned that. I mean, nobody, mer or human, had ever heard of a mer turning back to human, and why was that? I mean, who had even _ -

Eren stopped.

"Levi, do you know anyone who's died? As a mer?"

Levi grunted, voice strained. "Yeah, what do you want, a fucking list?"

Eren frowned, continuing. "Yeah, but has there been anyone who has died going to land, and never returning?"

Levi looked at him, eyes widening. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, still staring at Eren. He finally whispered out a name. "Kenny." Levi coughed, trying to speak. "I mean, I -"

Levi paused for a moment, then suddenly yelled out, grabbing his hair in between both hands, staring dead ahead. "No. That, it can't..." Levi spun around to Eren, tears streaming down his face, fingers digging into the mud. He sobbed out, "What does even fucking mean? That the people in the water forget about those that turn back to human? That, I -" His voice failed, choking, and he turned back, his head hanging limply over his crossed legs.

"So everyone I know… they think I'm dead. And I can't ever convince them otherwise."

Eren couldn't bear this. He reached over to touch Levi's back; Levi just flinched away.

"Please, just.. please don't."

They sat there for a while, Levi looking ahead, one hand propping his head up by his forehead. Eren could only sit nearby, legs drawn up to his chest, waiting. Seagulls cried out behind them, the sound of waves crashing a low roar in the distance.

Long after Eren's legs had gone numb, Levi shifted, rubbing a hand over his face, inhaling sharply and sitting up. He stood up, Eren bolting up behind him. Levi looked in his direction, eyes vacant, staring at Eren's feet.

His voice was low, quiet in the wind. "I'd go apologize to Hange, but she'd forget that, too."

Eren's heart sat heavy in his chest. He wanted to cry for him, not that it would do any good. He reached out, scooping Levi inward to him. Levi just stood there, arms down by his side.

He whispered into Eren's chest. "Eren, please, let me go."

"No," he replied, stroking Levi's hair. Levi started struggling against him, trying to push him away.

"Eren, let me go, damn it." Levi started shouting, repeating it over and over as he banged his fists against Eren's back. He just squeezed tighter.

"Fuck you, let me go!" Levi yelled hoarsely, shaking as he started sobbing. "Let me go."

Levi slumped against him then, crying out loudly, face buried into Eren's chest, hands clenched on the front of Eren's shirt. Eren just stood there, holding them both up.


	18. Chapter 18

Eren's voice came quiet from the corner of the house. "Shadis, just... just please. He'll get to working soon, I promise."

Shadis' voice came, quite louder, echoing in the silence of the morning. "He better. It's been two weeks, Eren. This is on you. We don't keep anyone that can't pull their weight around here, remember? This isn't a charity hospital; we can't feed and clothe everyone on prayers." Softer now: "We share everything, what little we bring in. We can't afford to have people that can't contribute, no matter the situation."

"I know. I.. I know that."

"Then you might want to get out there before the tide starts coming back, since you are apparently working for the both of you."

Silence fell again as the sound of footsteps faded out of the house. Levi was left alone, laying on the bed. He didn't bother looking over to the other men. What was the point? _ What's Shadis going to do, kick me out? I guess I'd have to find a place to live. Maybe Gotthard needs another whore, who knows. _ He curled up closer to himself on the bed. _ Maybe I can sell my ass to some filthy sailors, at least I can be useful to someone. _

Thoughts, memories, flashed in his head - the cold, the bitter cold making his joints creak at night when he tried sleeping, wrapped around a slimy, algae-coated rock to keep from floating away at night. One of countless nights going to bed hungry, what little fish lived near their home scared away by the Titans that ripped friends, people he knew, apart, shoving limbs and heads into their dead-eyed faces. And Hange was still down there. _Keeping the Titans from landfall and killing everyone up here, like I should be doing._

_ I'm such a fucking coward _. 

His bed dipped as somebody sat on the edge, near Levi's feet, wood creaking under new weight.

"I wish I knew how to help you."

_ Eren _. Levi brought his blanket further up to his head. He didn't answer, instead listening for some minutes to a plate scraping gently against the wooden table, someone eating their noon meal quietly.

The bed flattened out once more as Eren stood again, walking quietly away out the door.

* * *

"Come with me today."

Levi was sitting at the table, picking at a loaf of bread, just spreading out the pieces around on the plate. He looked up as Eren stood to his right, holding out his hand for Levi to take.

"That's not a request. That's an order." Eren smiled down at him, hand still stretched toward him. 

* * *

  


They followed the ocean to the south; clouds were boiling overhead, thick and grey, threatening to spill the heavens on them. The ocean itself was a mass of dark blue, almost black, the sunlight seeking happier places that day. It rocked chaotically, sending waves of spray high above the rock from below. The situation seemed fitting; both him and the sea were aggravated, having to be out here together._ I can't fucking get away from it. _

"I was thinking we could go to my home." Eren spoke, pointing down the coast.

"Oh you're a landowner and everything. Should I call you lord, start bowing every time I see you?" He grumbled, following close behind Eren as he picked a route out between the holes of the porous rock. 

Eren just laughed. "That'd be nice."

They followed a small path, really no more than a slightly more worn patch of dirt that paralleled the ocean, weaving between trees and sharp uprisings of rock. It was difficult work, trying not to step on anything too sharp, or rolling a foot arch onto a rock which felt like death itself. Levi's feet were still not as thickened as Eren's, who seemed almost oblivious to the small stones and twigs he stepped over, walking quickly. 

Levi's breaths were coming quicker and harder as time passed, trying to keep up with Eren, God damn him if he wasn't going to keep up with the long-legged bastard. The path was sloping slightly upwards now, Levi panting with the effort of just trying to step over downed trees on the path, his head spinning, cold sweat prickling over his face and arms. He was thankfully near one of the studier trees as his knees suddenly gave out from under him, sagging as he leaned onto the solid wood. Eren turned from the noise, jogging back to help him to the ground. 

"You okay?"

Levi pushed Eren's hand away, resituating himself seated on the ground, back to the trunk, catching his breath. Eren sat down his satchel, pulling some cheese out and trying to hand it to him. 

"I'm not hungry."

Eren raised an eyebrow. "Just like you weren't hungry yesterday, or any day before that?"

"Just like that."

"Just like you almost didn't pass out just now from not eating for the past three weeks?"

Levi didn't answer him, looking at the ground past his feet. Very interesting dirt, with some twigs and leaves pressed in randomly under old footsteps. _ More fucking interesting than this conversation is heading _.

Eren sighed. "If you're going to kill yourself by starvation, I'd at least like to know why."

A small beetle was crawling over the small ridges of dirt, its thin black legs trying and failing to pull its larger body up onto a smooth stone. It seemed a monumental effort to the stupid creature, trying to reach the top. Why was it trying to scale that rock when it could just go around?

"Do I really not deserve that, at least?" Eren paused, and in a smaller voice, "Levi, please look at me."

Levi glanced to Eren's forearm, fixating on a small freckle. There was some force field preventing him from looking further up, the threat of those green eyes. _ Probably looking all pitiful for weak little Levi. Fucking can't-help-anybody Levi. _

"Shadis is kicking you out of the place tomorrow. I really tried, Levi, but... I don't know. I don't know what you want." 

Levi just snorted. "Let him."

"Where will you go?"

Levi frowned; it was one irritating fucking freckle. "I don't know, maybe I'll find a nice cozy gutter to die in."

Eren stood suddenly, fists clenched and shaking at his sides. _ What, is he gonna hit me? Took him long enough _. Eren stood frozen for a couple seconds before barking out a laugh, the red from his face draining as he sat back down, scratching at the back of his neck. "Yeah." Eren's head hung, closing his eyes. "Yeah, you're right. You can do whatever you want. I can't even stop you." He looked so defeated, arms hanging down over his knees loosely.

Anger flared in Levi, seeing Eren so unhappy. _ Fucking useless _. "You don't even know me," he scoffed, his voice louder than he had intended. Eren looked at him then. 

"You know what, I think you're right." Levi looked away from those dead, sad eyes boring into his own. "I thought you were stronger than this."

"Fuck you." Levi pointed at Eren. "Fuck you, thinking you..." The argument died on his lips. Everything he was going to say was a lie, anyway, talking about how Eren didn't know him. 

Levi croaked, his voice not coming out. He coughed, trying again. "I don't... I don't know what to do." His voice warbled. _ You can't even talk right _ . "I've never not known what to do. I've always had a clear goal, something I can do or die trying. With this... What do I do, Eren?" His vision blurred as tears welled. _ Weak _. "What can I even do? Do I drag Hange by the hair out of the sea? Erwin? Do I leave them to be picked off, one by one, eaten by Titans, or killed by other humans?" He pressed his palms to his face, smearing the wetness around. It helped with the burning sensation in his eyes.

"I don't know."

Levi stared dully out over the ocean. He mumbled against his arm. "I don't suppose you want to run away with me." _ Please don't say yes _.

"Okay."

Levi snorted. "Liar. You love it here."

Eren shrugged, turning to the ocean. "I mean, yeah it's my home, and I don't know where else I could go. But really, I stayed here because I wanted to know what happened to my dad." He looked at Levi, staring intently at him.

"What?" He knew Eren well enough now that he wanted an answer for something. "What, you want me to tell you about when you were a kid?"

"Good a time as any, since you're probably going to die soon anyway."

Levi sighed, reaching to rub his face again. "Jesus, that was... a long time ago." 

They both sat in silence as a couple soft droplets fell against Levi's head and arms. He looked up, watching with squinted eyes as raindrops materialized near the base of the low clouds, almost seeming to float weightless in the sky on their way down. The wind had died down by now; he could hear the individual taps of the rain against rock, coalescing in those shallow holes, forming little pools that reflected the grey above.

"I had never seen a Titan before, you know." Eren had picked up a rock, rubbing his thumb over the surface as he spoke, low voice cutting through the hushed pattering of rain. "You hear stories of the demons that come from the ocean to eat people, you think as a kid maybe they're just grown ups messing with children, you know? The same way they say gnomes come to steal your toes at night if you don't wash your dishes, or don't step into elf circles, all that stuff.

"But yeah, I should've believed them. Cause they spoke real low about the Titans, like hushed whispers and my aunt Marlene, my mom's sister, she got real... freaked out when Marcel joked about it." 

Eren huffed a laugh, his face grim as he stared at the rock in his hand. "That was the last time I saw them, actually. My aunt and her husband were over for noon meal, just to say hi. They lived in the city, would come over sometimes to visit my mom.

"I was setting the table with plates, and they started... shaking, like rattling. It was weird, like you felt vibrations in your bones, but don't know where they came from? I don't think anyone else knew what to do, cause we all just sat there, like looking at each other." Eren's fingers closed around the rock, knuckles turning white.

"I don't know... I don't know why my dad made us all run outside. Maybe, maybe he knew something? I don't know how my dad would've known. But he shouted at us to run outside, and Marlene, she started wailing, like she knew, too, what was happening. I've ran this over in my head so many times, you know." Eren glanced at Levi for a moment, who nodded. Eren stared at the rock again, turning it between his fingertips.

"She was the first one out, Marlene. She was picked up right outside our door. Fuck me. Like they were waiting for us. How fucking polite, right? The same one grabbed Marcel, too, greedy bastard." Eren paused for a second before launching the rock out toward the water. He crossed his arms over his chest, jaw clenching. 

"How did the rest of you get away?" 

Eren didn't reply for a long moment, staring into one of the puddles in front of them. "Please tell me," Eren asked instead, eyes glancing up to search Levi's. "I'm sorry, I took you out here to get away from everything, but... I have to know what happened to my dad. Please. I've been looking around my whole life." Eren was more animated now, bouncing a leg up and down, hands punctuating the air as he spoke. "See, I thought, you know, maybe he got caught up in a current that day, you know? I couldn't see the boat that day, and maybe he accidentally traveled down the coast. And I walked the shore, I talked to everyone that lived down south, down all the way to Sasha's old town. And yeah, nobody saw him, but that doesn't really mean anything, I mean it's a big fucking ocean. And anyway, I never saw the boat -"

"Eren." Levi had never felt more tired in his life.

Eren flinched at Levi's interruption, looking at Levi with wide eyes that grew, seeming to panic as Levi just looked back at him levelly. Eren stood up, walking around in a circle. 

"I don't want to hear it." Eren laughed, the air straining out as a wheeze as he bent back, hands on his head as he faced the sky. "Can I just... keep thinking he was just a coward that ran away as my mom died?" 

Eren's fists raised up as he shouted, "Can I just have a fucking -" His voice dropped off, hands gripping into his hips, chest heaving. 

"... A fucking break." Eren turned when Levi finished his sentence for him, pain in those wide eyes. 

Eren's voice was hoarse as he whispered out, "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "How... how did it happen?"

"Eren..."

"How?" Those eyes didn't leave his. 

"Does it matter?"

"It really fucking does."

Levi sighed, rubbing at his brows. They were throbbing. He thought he'd thank Satan himself if he came up and dragged him down to Hell now, instead of waiting for later.

"Your dad, he was grabbed by a Titan in the water. I got there as he... died. I suppose it doesn't help in the slightest to tell you they're lying at the bottom of the ocean now." The rain was falling heavier now, the water catching on his eyelashes, dripping off the end of his chin. Levi wiped his hair back from his face. Eren stood there unmoving, looking to the ground by Levi's feet.

"And what about me?" 

"What?"

"Why do I remember your name?"

The throbbing spread to his temples, setting up a nice little rhythm of pain. "I did something. I... saved you."

"Why do you seem so unhappy about it?" Eren's face twisted into a sneer. "Wish I had died, too?"

Levi threw his hands up. _ What the fuck _? "Christ, Eren."

Eren turned away. "Sorry. That wasn't... Sorry."

"No, I, I saved you after you... died. Already."

"Cause that fucking makes sense."

"Eren. You drowned that day, and I... I thought it made more sense to me that you died up on land than in the water getting torn apart by demons. Obviously now it makes sense why you're alive now, but I.. yeah. You had turned into a mer."

Eren sat down then, just out of reach. Levi watched the drops of water fall off Eren's elbow as he sat there, turned away. Parts of Eren's habitual bun had fallen out, the rain weighing the hair down. After a couple minutes, Eren inhaled deeply, leaning his forehead into his palm. 

"So he's dead. And I'm alone."

Levi's chest constricted. _ Jesus, he really thinks that. All _ _ of those friends he can talk to and be around, and he thinks cause Daddy is dead, there's nothing to live for. _

Levi tsked. "Well I don't pity you, if you're gonna cry about it."

"Jackass, you just told me my father was dead!" Eren's face bloomed red.

"We've all lost people."

"Oh yeah? Is that why you've been doing fuck all for the past month, not eating or drinking? Who the hell died, Levi?"

The tension in Levi's chest snapped, and he roared at Eren. "I DID!" All the rage and hurt flowed out through the soles of his feet with those two words, draining like a tub, leaving him hollow. He whispered out, "I did." 

The puddle in front of him overflowed to the right, a small river flowing in jerks over the uneven rock, reflecting the pale sky above. He spoke, still watching the water. "I'm worthless, Eren. To everyone now. And there's nothing to do about it." The word echoed in his mind; a flash of Hange, leaning next to him, saying the same words. _ We're all pretty useless _. 

Eren had started to say something. "You -" and then shook his head, pressing his lips together hard.

"What?"

Eren exhaled hard and long, chest visibly collapsing. He just stood up instead of answering, reaching down to give Levi a hand without looking at him. Levi didn't take it, and Eren glanced at him, beckoning with his hand.

"Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"Where I was trying to take you to begin with."

They started walking again, the nearby trees brightening as a patch of sunlight broke through the clouds. The rain tapered off to a calm drizzle by then, most of the water now dripping off the ends of branches as they brushed past. Levi was still soaked, hair completely wet as he brushed it from his eyes. The mud made obscene slurping noises as his feet pressed deep into it, and he couldn't help but look backward, watching footprints appear in a crooked path behind him. Near the path, several smaller birds were walking in jerking motions, looking for insects and worms crawling beneath the short grass. He turned back around, watching Eren's back muscles tensing as he walked, tightening, loosening in sync to him walking. Levi wondered briefly why it was the muscles on one side tightened when it was the opposite leg that lifted. _ Hange would know _.

"I'm sorry."

Eren had spoken, not turning around. The man stepped over a branch on the path, continuing. "I already kind of figured he was dead. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Levi didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent. The wooded area had become denser as they walked at an angle from the ocean, heading deeper inland. Branches hovered heavy and low over their heads, and Levi couldn't help himself as he stopped, touching the leaves overhead.

"What is this one called?"

"Hmm?" Eren turned around. "Oh, um, that's an oak. See the leaves? All the oak leaves look like that, all rounded with the ridges. Oh, but see look." Eren pointed to another tree, one with a tall, thin white trunk. "There's an aspen." It glittered like gold, flashes of light on the millions of circular, fluttering leaves where droplets of water caught some skinny rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds. Some had dropped to the ground already, yellow spots on the brown mud, the chilly air alerting the tree that winter was coming soon. They continued walking. 

"Does it really not bother you you were a mer?"

Eren just shrugged as he walked deeper into the forest. "Not really."

_ 12 years. 12 God damned years of carrying around the guilt of killing a fucking kid and he just shrugs _. The ridiculousness bubbled up inside of him, and out came a laugh, scaring two birds out of a nearby tree. It carried, echoing in the quiet forest. "No, I guess it's not a fucking problem."

Eren just shrugged again, glancing back at Levi as he walked. "I mean I'm alive right now, aren't I?" He suddenly stopped, pointing to a large tree in front of them. "Hey! Perfect." He turned around to Levi, a wide grin on his face. "Perfect... climbing tree?" He lifted his brows a couple times suggestively.

"I guess?" 

Eren grabbed his hand, basically dragging him to the tree. "Well I just thought, you know, something you haven't done in a long time is, well, use your feet and stuff and, well I thought you'd maybe want to do something you haven't done in a long time and -"

"Alright!" Levi chuckled, looking from Eren to the tree. "Alright, I'll climb the damn tree. Although you could've picked a better day for it." 

The tree was tall, with vines twisting up and around the trunk, giving hand and foot holds. Everything was wet from the rain, however, and moss had grown over some areas, reaching into cracks. The spooky atmosphere was only disrupted by the break in clouds; a patch of sunlight appeared over the tree, lighting up Eren's face. He kept grinning, throwing an arm up over his eyes for shade as he walked behind Levi. 

"Alright, up you go." 

He felt hands grab under his armpits, intending to hoist him up. He slapped at them. "Hey! Fuck you, I'm going, I'm going." He huffed as Eren set him back down, looking where to start. He wedged his foot into a vine, starting to climb. It was tricky, not least because the vines were slicker than they looked, and because Eren kept making him lose his footing as he pushed Levi up by his ass and Levi trying to kick him in the face because of it. "You son of a bitch." Levi laughed even as he said it. It was nice to see Eren smiling up at him again, warming up his empty chest.

Levi had finally reached the lowest branch, hauling onto it on his belly, flipping into a sitting position. He had to pause, catching his breath from the effort. Something had started growing inside his chest, something small and circular that sat in the ocean of pain. Like a small orb of calm, of peace. _ He made me climb a tree. I told him I couldn't save his dad from being eaten alive, and he thought I'd want to climb a tree with him. Fucking ridiculous. So stupid _. A small smile tugged at his lips.

He looked down where Eren had grunted; still a good seven or eight meters down, Eren had started climbing up behind him, quickly closing the gap, hauling himself up with each step. A small breeze had shifted through the trees, shaking loose hundreds of droplets over the two, showering them once again with bright rain. Eren smiled, closing his eyes as the rain fell on his upturned face. _ How can he smile so much? _ Levi gripped the wet trunk beneath him, the moss threading between his fingers. 

Eren looked at him, still smiling. "Okay give me a hand, if you can." Levi finally returned the smile, reaching his arm down. Eren let go of a vine with one hand, reaching up -

And was gone. Levi shouted, reaching out for a hand that was already gone.

He didn't see Eren fall, just heard a muffled cracking sound ring out, then silence fell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> No, but seriously, I should have the next chapter out in a couple days. 
> 
> I absolutely love comments, by the way. Please, comment on anything by now that you love, hate, feel obliged to yell at me for. I understand I am putting the poor babes through pain, but let's be honest, nothing I can possibly write compares to canon.


	19. Chapter 19

"Hey. Hey!"

_ Levi. It had to be him. It sounded like him. Why was he shouting? _

"Lay back! Calm down."

Eren didn't realize he had been swinging his arms around, and laid them down for a second before groaning and reaching up again. He felt a weight press onto his body, squeezing the air from his lungs. Why was he groaning? He squinted, opening his eyes, something translucent filling up half of his vision.  _ Levi - what? _ It was Levi, but wearing some weird hat, weird blue clothing. Pain shot behind his eyes as he tried sitting up; Levi leaned harder on him, holding down his arms.

"Sir, lay back! Hange, God damn it, push the propofol. He’s fucking huge. I don't want him cracking open that head we're supposed to be fixing." Levi looked back down to him. "Calm down or you're going to fall off the table."

He felt burning in his arm, and his eyes closed against his will, body relaxing. The pain faded away, replaced with warm nothingness.

* * *

Thoughts rolled around in Eren's mind like storm clouds: dreams, images of blinding white light and blue-colored giants in hats leaning over him, paralyzed and about to be eaten. There was something holding him down, a great weight pressed over his entire body; he felt he was suffocating, the fear growing. He wanted out, whatever that entailed. Eren bolted upright, screaming, the weight disappeared as the blanket slipped down to his waist. 

Able to breath again, he immediately collapsed back on the bed, head hitting the pillow again heavily. Sitting up had shot a bolt of pain through his skull, reverberating into his right shoulder. His right arm was weirdly immobile, and he glanced down, a sash of torn cloth wrapping around his neck, cradling the arm to his body.

"Your shoulder was ... out of place. After you fell." Eren turned sideways where Levi was sitting at the table, one foot tucked under the other leg. The ever-present circles under those bright eyes seemed just a little darker, maybe. He pointed to Eren's arm. "I think though that me pulling you by that arm put it back in place, though. Sorry about that."  Levi raised his eyebrows unapologetically as he began picking under his nails. 

_ Can he just not be angry at me for one minute? _ Eren just looked back at the ceiling, a bitter scowl on his face. "I had stayed here in this fishing town to see if I could see you once more,” he replied after a moment. “I think I'm starting to regret it, though. Maybe I should go find a nice mountain to live on."

Levi retorted bitterly, "Maybe you fucking should. Though you'd probably accidentally fall off of it, too." Levi rubbed his forehead aggressively, grimacing as he did so. He almost spat out air as he exhaled, anger flashing in those eyes as he looked at Eren again, yelling, "Jesus, fuck, Eren! Will you quit almost fucking dying?"

"I-"

Levi kept on, ignoring the interruption. "There was fucking blood everywhere, I thought you weren't going to wake up, you bloody trippy ass bastard, just taking falls left and right!" He had stood up now, pacing as he yelled at Eren, who just sat on the bed, watching. "You clumsy son of a bitch," Levi pointed at him with his whole hand, "I swear to fucking Christ you're doing it on purpose at this point. What if you actually died, what then?"

"Levi, look at me. I'm fine." Eren tried not to grimace from the stabbing pain in his shoulder as he flapped his arms for effect. It probably wasn't as effective as he had hoped, as he felt a small trickle of liquid drip out of his ear. Probably blood. Levi noticed, too, his eyes narrowed as he glanced to the side of Eren's head, frown deepening.

"Great, then you can walk back home yourself." Levi turned and walked over to the door. The whole place seemed familiar -

"Wait!" 

Levi paused, hand pressed flat against the door.

"How did we get to my house?" He sat up straighter, looking around. It was just how he left it a year ago. The place needed some dusting, sure, but everything was in the same order. The pressed plants still sat propped up on the wall shelves, and there, the smooth shard shard of rock he had brought back for his parents from the shore. His dad had said it was petrified wood, part of a tree that was buried and became a rock, whatever that meant. All bits and baubles found by curious, bored hands. 

It always gave him a sense of calm, coming back here, and today was no different. The anger drained out of Eren, seeing his home, aging but still whole.

Levi spoke, hand slipping from the door. "It was the nearest one."

"That's... a nice coincidence." Eren knew they had been close to his home, but still at least twenty minutes walk. Had Levi really carried him that far?

Levi just grunted, still turned away from Eren. He stood there staring at the ground for some seconds before finally straightening again, glancing over his shoulder. “Don’t move.” 

The door swung back with a loud creak as Levi exited, sweeping up a small puff of dirt from the floorboards. It seemed too bright inside - was it morning again? The sun was low, light stretching brightly through the windows of the small house, up and over the center table.  _ I’ve been out the whole night. _ Eren tried sitting up, letting out a strained moan now that Levi was gone. The pain was excruciating; it felt like his head was tearing itself in half as he sat there, clenching it with both hands. His shoulder was more bearable, a dull ache that flared to a severe status only in response to moving his arm, which he tried doing. Embarrassingly high yelps were released as he circled his arm, testing to make sure everything was moving correctly. 

He looked around his old house as he rubbed his shoulder, letting his eyes linger on items holding childhood memories. That old pine table had seen more food dumped on it than main street. Eren smiled, the memory surfacing of his mother smacking him in the back of the head with a sandal for purposefully spitting out his carrots onto it. He still couldn't stand the taste of them, to be honest. And over there, in the corner of the house, still rested the bucket he used to fetch the daily water down at the river. Dad was so angry that day when he had come home late after losing the first of many buckets, diving in straight to yelling before Eren had a chance to explain he had fallen into the river. At the time it had seemed unfair; an unjustified punishment. Levi flashed into his mind, yelling at him just now.  _ Well it’s not like I do it on purpose. _

The door creaked open as Levi entered again, carrying two long, wooden sticks at his side. They were fairly straight, but both branched at the ends, with wide flat sticks placed in the 'Y' groove at the top. 

"You will use these, and you will use them well. I will not pick you up if you fall on your ass."

"Roger that, oh Great Physician." Eren couldn't help but grin as Levi grimaced in response to his salute.

"Don't... Just don't."

"Why not?"

Levi didn't answer, but motioned for Eren to come closer. Eren grunted as he moved to the edge of the bed, legs swinging down to the ground with pain flaring in the back of his skull. Levi wrapped Eren's arms demonstratively over the weird sticks, his armpits supported by the top of the triangular part.

"They aren't the best, but they'll hold you up, you suicidal bastard."

“Why do I need them?”

“You landed on your foot pretty wrong," Levi gestured toward the floor where his feet were. "And I assume as soon as I mention it, you’ll notice.”

Eren gritted his teeth as Levi spoke true - a throbbing sensation started up in his right ankle to nicely complement the stabbing behind his eyes.  _ Lovely. _ Eren could only look up to Levi, those light grey eyes eyeing him suspiciously as if Eren was prone to throwing himself off the nearest cliff. He supposed he probably was.

"How did you make these?"

Levi frowned then, rubbing the side of his head. "I.... actually don't really know."

"You're so secretive, it's really attractive." He winked up at Levi, who did not look amused.

"You really aren't in the condition to be flirting with me."

Eren could only laugh, relaxing his weight back on his hands. "No, but I can try anyway. It's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks. I almost forgot you could." The ceiling needed a good dusting as well, cobwebs swaying gently in the corners of the house. 

Wood scraped against wood as Levi turned a chair around, resting his arms against the back as he sat down, facing Eren. "You are one lucky bastard, you know that?"

The throbbing had settled as they had talked; reminded of its presence again, it came roaring back. He gingerly prodded the side of his head, checking for any cracks. "Feels like it."

Levi seemed to hesitate a moment before asking, "What were you going to say yesterday? Before so rudely making me carry your dumb ass all the way here."

"It's nothing." He moved his hand to his forehead, hoping in vain that the pounding in his ears would suddenly disappear.

"I have a feeling I know what it was." Eren didn't reply, and Levi continued. "You were going to say I could always go back."

Eren remained silent; there wasn’t much to say. He would have to be blind to miss Levi’s apprehension to leaving those he cared about to die without him. He had wondered what he would do if he was in Levi’s position. If Mikasa was stuck somewhere fighting demons, or Armin… he knew his answer. He just didn’t want Levi to choose the same.

"Yeah, I've thought about it." Levi spoke when Eren didn’t answer him. "I've been thinking for a while. Thinking about what to do. I've been considering... " Levi took a deep breath, letting it out over several seconds. "Of course I’ve been considering going back." He looked pointedly at Eren. "But it seems I have to fucking stay here just to keep you from killing yourself all the God damned time."

"And…” A pause. “I have to find him again." He pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching up his face. "If Kenny... if that bastard is still alive... I'm going to find him. I'm going to make him pay for being a selfish bitch. Which," Levi chuckled, "is ironic, seeing as how I've been living off your fucking hospitality for the past month, you selfless ass."

"Sorry about that." Eren replied sarcastically, mimicking Levi’s words from earlier.

"No… no." Levi huffed, frowning. "I'm, I'm trying to apologize, and I'm doing it all wrong, like always." He recrossed his arms back over the back of the chair, meeting Eren’s gaze pointedly. “Never again. Never again will I lay there feeling fucking sorry for myself. I acted disgustingly, selfishly. It didn’t help anyone, didn’t fucking solve anything. I was just… pitying myself.” 

He laughed harshly. “Which is bullshit, since I actually have it better than anyone could ask for. I got a new life, even if I am running away from the old one. And you,” Levi motioned to Eren, “you almost died trying to prove it to me, you shitty…” He just sighed, trailing off. 

Something light had been growing steadily in his chest with Levi's words; he had just spoken more words now than he had in the past month. Eren couldn’t help himself, grinning as Levi stared at him. A small smile tugged at the corner of Levi’s mouth as he stared down at Eren. S_o dramatic_ _ _._ All I did was break my ass falling out of a stupid tree _ . Eren winked at him, and Levi huffed out a laugh even as he returned to a scowl.  _ Damn it. So close _ .

Levi shook his head as he stood up, walking towards the bed, stopping several feet away. “You shitty brat.”

Eren grinned up at him, reaching out with both hands to tempt Levi into walking closer. “To be fair, that kind of was my fault. I am historically terrible at climbing things.”

"No. Don't you fucking dare." 

Those grey eyes were severe even as he joined Eren at the edge of the bed, Eren grabbing at his hips. Levi didn’t move away, so he started running his hands back and forth, fingers running with the upper line of Levi’s pants.  _ He’s talking again. He just smiled at me. _ Eren smiled wide, tossing his head back to look up at Levi. It was a mistake - his head screamed out, and he clutched a hand to his temple as he grimaced. “Okay, you almost killed me. Does it make you feel any better?”

He didn’t hear Levi answer, knowing there’d be that stupid scowl on his face. Eren didn’t bother looking up, head spinning as he tugged on Levi again, this time pulling on his pants until he heard Levi sigh. The wooden frame protested slightly at the new weight as Levi kneeled down on the bed, straddling Eren’s lap. Arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and Levi looked down, gaze roaming over Eren's face, everywhere but his eyes. 

"Honestly... no."

"Then stop feeling bad about it. You didn't do anything." Eren ignored his complaining shoulder, wrapping both arms around Levi's back. He raised his eyebrows, trying to get Levi to look into his eyes. "You aren't responsible for everyone's misfortune. You aren't responsible for all the suffering in the world. Stop beating yourself up because you can't save everyone in the world."

Levi just look down at him, pale eyes finally meeting his own. The bubble collapsed in his gut, heavy lead filling its place.  He knew what Levi had already unspokenly replied with:  _ “I can try.”  _ He knew what Levi had decided.

_ He’s going to go back. I just got him back, and he’s going to leave me again _ . 

Eren ignored the sinking feeling, trying to put on another smile as he reached up, slipping a hand behind Levi’s neck, gently pulling him down to bring Levi’s lips to his own. _Just one more, then. _The pain grew steadily behind his eyes, the throbbing matching his increasing heart rate as Levi sighed on his lips, breath heating up his chest. He couldn’t help as he dug his fingers into Levi’s back, not wanting to let go. Levi's lips moved against his own, Eren almost moaning to the sound of Levi's small gasps.

The pressure in his head kept building, screaming out; he groaned and fell backwards, throwing an arm over his face. Even the light was painful.

“Did you really carry me all the way here?” Eren peeked out from underneath his sleeve. 

Levi cocked an eyebrow. “More like dragged. You weigh a million fucking pounds, too. Can you try being just a little bit smaller?”

_Will_ _ you stay with me then?_

  
  


* * *

####    
  


Eren glanced north down the coast for the twentieth time that day where Levi was diving. His own work was boring enough, gathering mussels at low tide near the house. His bound arm was still useless for swimming, and he was confined to menial work on land. Even mending nets was better than this work, the sun beating down on his dry back as he stooped low, prying the creatures from the exposed shoal as sharp shells dug into the soles of his feet. There were scars on them for a reason. He had one pair of shoes for going into the city for events or Sundays, but they were thin boots, unsuited for walking over razor sharp shell beds. He really ought to come up with some thick sandal designs to bring to the city's shoe maker.

He sighed, glancing down at his arm. It wasn't bound anymore, disregarding Levi's threats to break it for real this time. The cloth was itchy and he would have been even more useless with it immobile than he already was. He still couldn't swim properly, instead Levi taking up his usual position for diving for the oysters underwater, the ones that were more likely to contain pearls. Levi seemed to be even better at it than Eren, to his own annoyance. He had come to Eren one night, showing several large pink spheres.

"I saved these for you."

Eren had set aside the netting he had been repairing, rolling the pearls for a second before letting them fall back into Levi's hand, closing his hands around Levi's for a moment.

"They're yours. You should save them, you earned it."

Levi had just pushed them back into Eren’s hand. "They're mine, and I choose to give them to you. If you don't want them, I'll throw them back into the ocean where they belong." So Eren had saved them in his bedside table, hidden in the back, before attending to more important matters, pulling Levi down on top of him.

Those low moans echoed in his head from yesterday as he looked down toward Levi’s diving spot again. A small form appeared on cue in the water, emptying the bag onto shore before diving down again. Eren stood up, stuffing the mussels in his hand back in his own bag before starting to walk in that direction.

"Hey!"

He turned to the sound; Armin and Mikasa were standing on the beach, Armin waving at him. Eren waved back, shaking his head to dispel heated thoughts as he started walking toward the two. He realized that even though he lived with them, he had recently missed his friends.

Armin spoke as Eren neared, raising his voice above the crash of the waves. "We're on our way to the market, we thought you could come help." Mikasa said nothing, but wore a small smile as she handed him a net bag filled with fish caught from shore. Eren shouldered it with his own bag, setting up a pace beside the others, the three walking north along the shoreline to the city.

“I’m glad you’re coming with us. I was told by a certain someone they are selling honeycomb at market today.” Eren glanced over to the water - no Levi yet. 

He turned back to Armin. “Did you get that from Sasha?”

Blond hair shifted back from bright blue eyes as Armin grinned up at him. “Who else?”

They passed the spot Levi was diving at that moment, Eren craning his neck to see if he could look down into the blue water. It had been several minutes now. He knew Levi could hold his breath, but it still, it's been a long time already. _He wouldn't just leave me without saying anything. Would he?_

"For the last time, he'll be fine!" Armin grabbed his arm, pulling him persistently toward Sina, away from the water.

"You don't know that, he’s still not back to how he was, he could drown, or -"

"From what you told us, he's done it before, so how bad could it be?"

Eren gaped at him even as Armin looked at him innocently. _You sly bastard_. Eren tried to fight down a smile.  "Armin, that's..." He looked behind him toward the water once more, making sure Levi hadn't popped up behind them. He turned back around, and in a hushed whisper - "That's so rude."

Armin just laughed, maybe a little evilly, still tugging on Eren's arm to keep him up with the group. "He'll be fine, he's a big boy."

There was a snort from Mikasa, still walking ahead of them on the dirt path to the city.

Eren whipped his head back and forth between the two. "You guys are both assholes."

* * *

  
  


It seemed like everyone in the entire world was crammed into one place, though Eren supposed it always was like this on main street. The air was filled with screams of children running in and under the wagons that squeezed between the stalls lining the street, set up by vendors outside the city selling their goods for the day. Goats and squealing pigs were being towed by the neck behind dirty farmers to their final destination in life. A lone rider on a shaggy, squat horse was trying to weave his way through the crowd, almost knocking over several cages full of screaming chickens. Eren wondered how anyone living in the city got any peace and quiet.  _ Maybe that’s why everyone who lives in the city looks so angry all the time. _

The three were standing in front of a stall selling cloth, spun by the collective of older women in town. They had already traded their fish away to Leeland and the other innkeepers of the city, the meager amount of coins now going toward replacing their frankly dismal assortment of clothing at home. Patchwork could only go so far, Eren had been told by Mikasa. 

Eren glanced up as several voices carried over the general noise of the street. A lean figure was propelled backward out of a doorway, falling into the dirt. The man, looking suspiciously similar to Jean, stood again, dusting off his rear before yelling once more into the building he was thrown from, "She looked like a cow anyway!"

He nudged Armin with an elbow and pointed to Jean. "Why does he even bother?" Armin looked up in confusion; spotting Jean sulking in the street and rubbing his ass, chuckled and went back to looking at the cloth in his hands.

Jean had kicked the dirt once more in anger, looking over the crowd and made eye contact with Eren. He waved a hand up, jogging over to them in between two wagons. "Hey guys, why are y'all here so late?"

Eren laughed a little, running his hand over the cloth as Mikasa offered it up to him to feel. "Some of us work, Jean." To her, "I mean, that'll work I guess. You would know better than me."

Jean stood up straighter, face reddening. "Hey, that - I work, too! I'm spending my hard-earned money!"

Mikasa thrust another bolt of cloth into his hands. "What about this for shirts?"

"Is that why they just kicked you out of the brothel? Because you had too much money?" Eren pushed the cloth back to her. "Mikasa, honestly, you know best. You’re the one making them anyway."

Jean’s face was now tomato red as he yelled back, "She wanted 100 dirhams! She wasn't worth 40!"

"Jean, I know for a fact you don't have 40 to begin with. Oh hey, I do like that blue cloth though." He pointed behind the vendor’s head, who started to pull it from the shelf to hand to him; Eren reached forward to take it from the old woman’s gnarled hands.

"Oh yeah, pretty boy? Like you're so rich yourself." Jean replied hotly.

Eren stopped, slowly turning to Jean. "Don't call me that." _Only he can_ _ . _

"What are you gonna do about it, huh?" Jean shifted from one foot to the other, obviously still upset about being kicked out of his favorite place. "Still mad that murder man child ain't sucking your dick, pretty boy?" Eren felt his eyebrow twitch, Jean watching him with a smirk on his face. Eren stepped toward him, and Jean's hands raised up into a fighting stance, the smile growing. _Sounds fucking terrible coming from you, Horse Face_ _ . _ Eren exhaled, turning around to walk in the other direction.  _ He’s just trying to pick a fight. What a child _ .

Jean yelled behind him. "Fine, run back to your stray pet. I hope that ass is nice and tight, that’s the only way he’s earning his keep anywhere -”

He didn't even remember turning around as he barreled head first into Jean, knocking both of them to the floor, injured shoulder forgotten as he got in two good punches at Jean. 

_You fucking -_

Down on his back, Jean got his arms up, protecting his face. His peripheral went black, only seeing Jean cowering below him. _Good_. He rained down punches. Jean's arm snapped beside his head, and yelled out as he felt his hair being yanked to the side, body following before his whole scalp got ripped off. Another fist smashed into his mouth. They both yelled wordlessly as they rolled, trying to get out from underneath the other. Eren had his hands wrapped around Jean’s throat when Jean shifted beneath him, throwing him up over his head. Dry dirt billowed around his head as he laid there gasping, the wind knocked from his lungs.

He scrambled up and away, and had just stepped back after landing a good kick to Jean's ribs when he felt steel wrap around his arms, holding him in place. He ignored it, trying to lunge at Jean again, watching with satisfaction as blood poured down Jean's nose.

"Eren," said a voice behind him, muted under the blood pounding in his ears. Eren snarled, still throwing himself forward. A figure walked up behind Jean, gathering him in a bear hug and almost lifting him yelling up off the ground.  _ Bertholdt. _

He felt his own legs leave the earth, gravity shifting fast as the ground came up to meet him, thrown backward. Eren landed hard on his side, and he yelled out, pain stabbing like a knife into the injured shoulder. He turned to his back just as a shadow blocked out the sky -  _ Reiner _ . The blond giant was standing there with hands on his hips, smiling broadly down at Eren.

"Just like old times, eh?" 

Reiner leaned down, lending Eren a hand up, who accepted, scowling. "Sorry about the toss, but you seemed you didn’t want to stop until you saw Jean lying dead in the dirt. What did he say this time?"

He felt something dripping down his chin; he wiped his mouth, frowning when he saw the blood smeared across his hand. "The usual bullshit." He glowered at Jean who just glared right back, his arms still pulled behind him by Bertholdt.

Eren was almost knocked over as Reiner laughed loudly, slapping him on the back. "That's the spirit!” He then leaned in close, winking as he murmured to Eren, “Just let it go. Everyone knows Levi is already hauling in twice what Jean brings in, including Jean.” 

Reiner leaned back out, the sunlight blinking back into Eren’s eyes. “Anyway, I would've let you guys keep going, but with the big man watching and all that..." Eren followed his gaze, and sure enough, Zachary himself was standing in the doorway of one of the larger taverns of the town, having just turned back to his conversation with the innkeeper. He had been watching. "You should probably go apologize for bloodying his street. Again."

_ Why is he always right _ ? Pain flared in his shoulder and up his neck as he trudged over, tying his hair in what he hoped was a more presentable look. Zachary didn't seem surprised to find him standing there, as he glanced over, handing a sheet of paper to the innkeeper.

"Eren, still looking as energetic as ever." The older man reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a folded napkin for Eren, who accepted gratefully. _Damn lip won't stop bleeding... _

He mumbled behind the cloth,  "Mr. Zachary, nice to see you again."

Zachary shifted his glasses up further. "Is it now? Seems to me we only meet when you are bloodied. Do you unconsciously hold that correlation against me, I wonder?"

The man was polite enough, though he liked to talk in a weird way. Eren shuffled a foot into the dirt, hoping to get this over with. "Uh, no sir. I mean, yes sir... Sir?"

There was a hint of a smile hidden in that grey beard as Zachary put a hand on Eren's shoulder. "Relax, I'm not going to throw you into jail again. You didn't break anything this time, you only riled up the chickens in their cages."

Eren felt his shoulders fall away from his ears as he exhaled. _Oh, t_ _ hank God. _ He had burned his clothes the last time he spent the week in that cell, the stench of rotten refuse permeating every inch of the poor clothing.

Zachary continued. "Now, there is something you can do for me, though. Can you take the tax receipt to Shadis for me? You know as much as I do how much love he really has for the caliphate. I'm hoping to avoid another one of his lethal tirades."

"Yes, sir." Eren saluted, inwardly cringing.  _ Maybe I can just leave it on his bed so he doesn't know I brought it. _

Zachary shook Eren's shoulder genially. "That's my boy. I've done you a favor, now you do me a favor. What a lovely arrangement." Zachary smiled genuinely now. "Honestly. You really have grown from that scruffy little rugrat I used to see running down this very same street, stealing bread from Mrs. Abbe's shop. You sure you don't want to join the navy? They need strong men like you." There was a strong glint in Zachary's eye even as the smile never wavered. "I could make you join, you know. They’ve been calling for all able-bodied men recently."

Eren struggled for a response. "Yeah, but who would, uh..." He brought the second bag he had been carrying up to eye level, shaking it a bit, the mussels inside clattering, finishing with, "bring you your favorite food?"

The glint vanished as the bearded smile grew. "Goose barnacles. You devil."

Eren slipped back toward his group, having handed the entire bag to Zachary just to get away. Mikasa was sitting next to Jean, who was was pinching the bridge of his nose, complaining nasally that it was actually broken this time. Mikasa didn't reply, quietly eating some bread and meat she had bought. Reiner moved so Eren could join the group again. Jean just tsked as he approached, looking away pointedly.

"Is he twisting your balls about joining the king's glorified sailing club again?" Reiner nudged a heavy arm into Eren's ribs. "You know he doesn't do that with anyone else, I think he just likes the way you squirm."

"I don't... squirm!" Eren replied as he tried to move away from Reiner's bony elbow. A flash of black caught his eye and he craned over Reiner's shoulder to get a better look. Levi was standing not too far away at Raimund's stall, standing quietly as the grumpy old man waved breadsticks at Levi's head, trying to get him to buy the disgusting things. _Why is he here_? He waved dismissively at Reiner, who was in mid-sentence about something something fishing. "Sorry, I gotta go," and started threading his way in between the crowd.

Raimund, the living corpse, was yelling over the noise of the crowd down at Levi, "Are ye' daft, boy? This is the best bread in the city! Whatr'ye standin' there mute as a pole fer? Just pick one!”

Eren piped up as he closed in. "Raimund, the only people buying your bread are the ones that need new bricks for their houses." Levi glanced once at Eren before perfunctorily dropping the bread he had been gathering in his arms back into the baskets, dusting his hands together.

The skinny old man gaped at Eren, showing the approximate one tooth left in his skull as he yelled out angrily, waving a baguette. "That didna' stop ye from tryna steal my goods ery' week when ya's a wee bairn, ya thief!"

Levi had crossed his arms, turning to join the crowd pressed in around them. "Thank you for confirming my suspicion."

Eren shuffled closely behind him, guiding him gently toward Gertrude's stall. "Never trust the skinny bakers," he whispered down into Levi's ear. Levi just snorted.

"You don't seem very surprised to see me," Eren accused down at that patch of shaved head. "Did you know I was here?"

Levi didn't look back, answering as he slipped quickly through groups of people, "I didn't want to get in the way of what seemed like such a fun fight." One man didn't move when asked politely, and Eren watched as Levi dug his thumb into the base of the man's spine, eliciting a yelp. They slipped past quietly as the man jumped to the side. Shouts rang out behind them.

"Oh, you saw that?" Eren flushed, thinking back to the topic that had started the fight. "What did you hear?"

Narrowed eyes glanced back at him over a shoulder. "Why? Was I supposed to hear something?"

Eren coughed, clearing his throat. "Um, Gertrude! Good afternoon!" He walked past Levi and up to the stall, tapping out a little rhythm on the wooden counter. The large woman didn't even glance down at them, looking over their heads distractedly as she pushed a mountain of bread in their direction. 

"For spiting old Raimund." He followed her gaze; the bag of bones was still gesturing and yelling in their direction over the crowd. "I'd say it was his time a while back, but I think he's too stubborn to die." Gertrude smiled as she spoke, waving politely back to the man still raging across the street. 

Her whole body seemed to vibrate as she chuckled. “Anyway!" Gertrude finally looked at them as she reached over the counter, smiling as she patted Eren on the head. "I haven't seen you in forever, you little rascal! Well," she giggled, wiping flour off her forearms, "can't really call you little anymore!"

Gertrude looked down at Levi from her stall, a confused frown scrunching her upturned nose. "Sorry hun, but do I know you from somewhere?"

Levi just slung the bread-filled bag back over his chest. "I have one of those faces,” he deadpanned.

She giggled again. "You really don't, dear. Maybe..." Gertrude gasped, a round hand flying over her open mouth. "Kuchel!" Levi's eyes widened. 

A small finger was pointed at Levi. "Yes, you have the exact same eyes as Kuchel. Lovely woman. She came every week to buy bread from me. Very sweet." Gertrude sighed, ignoring Levi's stare as she looked to the sky, patting her stomach absently, the other hand on her cheek. "Beautiful hair, she always kept it loose, I don't know how she managed to keep it so pretty. It was such a shame, what happened to her and all." 

Gertrude sighed sadly. "She was so kind to everyone, she always brought me a hydrangea every week, she knew that was my favorite flower." She smiled at Levi then, patting his face over the counter. "I'm sure you would've liked her, you seem like a sweet boy."

"Thank you for the bread." Levi hoisted the bag higher up on his shoulder, turning and walking quickly away, Eren following close by. Levi grumbled darkly, "If one more person calls me 'boy'..."

_ I'll lift you up so you can slap them _ . Eren buried that deep down as he tugged Levi around by the wrist. "Are you okay?"

"Hey! Keep it moving," yelled a woman behind them. Eren ignored the push to the small of his back, looking down at the smaller man, holding both of Levi's hands against his chest.

"You got all... quiet. More so. Just now. I know she can be a bit overwhelming, all motherly and she tends to -"

Levi ripped his hands away. "It's fine." T he wrinkle between his eyebrows disappeared as his face softened somewhat. "Really, it's fine. She was... nice."

Eren smiled back down at him, reaching down to Levi to brush a strand of hair out of his face, and almost poking him in the eye as someone roughly brushed past behind him.

"Okay, we're fucking moving!" Eren yelled out, grumbling incoherently as he ushered Levi forward once again, maneuvering them both between cages full of rabbits, chickens, and other animals waiting to be bought and eaten by hungry mouths, through the main square back to the group in the corner. He had his hands on Levi's hips to guide him between groups of people, and tried not to think about the easy slide of muscle that worked as Levi walked in front of him. Eren grabbed him by the waist, placing a quick kiss to the crook of Levi's neck before releasing him again.

They neared the group from the house; Reiner was illustrating something, using Bertholdt's body as a prop as he brandished an imaginary knife, stabbing Bertholdt in the chest over and over again. A visibly uncomfortable Armin was sitting next to Jean who was shouting out questions between chews on a sausage link to the two standing. Mikasa was nowhere to be seen.

Jean brandished the sausage like a sword, pointing at Reiner as he asked, "But how did you even get it on the boat in the first place?"

Reiner looked pleased at the question. "Ah, well, we actually had to use -"

Armin glanced over, noticing them and jumped up, yelling out in a strained voice, "Hey! Guys!" Reiner stopped mid-stab, standing straight and giving Eren and Levi a wave as they walked up. Bertholdt stood there, silent as ever. Armin grabbed Jean by the arm, towing him.

"Reiner, Bertholdt, see you guys later, we gotta go, okay, thanks, see you back home!" Reiner gave out a confused wave to the back of Armin, who was already some ways away and nearly dragging Jean down the road on his knees.

"Armin," Eren called out, running to catch up. "I was trying to find Mikasa, she has the bags -"

"We'll meet her at home!" Armin yelled back to Eren behind the flailing of Jean’s arms.  Eren just shrugged, starting to follow behind Levi and the rest. 

_Eren._ He whipped his head around, looking back into the crowd. Had someone called his name out? Nobody caught his eye, and he turned back around, jogging to catch up to the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I understand Levi making some sort of cane for Eren would have been more appropriate given his injuries, but, well... it was important.
> 
> One day. One day I will just write a single happy chapter.


	20. Chapter 20

_ Come on, Levi. You were always better than this. _

Levi struggled to keep his heart from beating right out of his chest, body and mind screaming for rest. If he was out of the water, he was sure he'd be gasping for air. He could hear himself mentally stuttering as he spat toward Kenny,  _ We've been going for hours. _

_ Oh _ ? That black tail twitched, then disappeared as Kenny lunged past him again. Levi tried bringing his hands up to defend his soft points, his arms screaming out in fatigue. They were swept out of the way, Kenny's arm punching out in an arc to connect with Levi's side. It felt his heart had stopped as white-hot electricity shot through his torso. Levi shouted out, blindly swinging his spear behind to hit any part of Kenny.

_ Hours of practice and you still can't dodge a simple scratch? _

Blood billowed around his head as he turned around, a hand instinctively pressed to his waist. It was deep, he could feel it. Hopefully not entirely through the muscle like last time. Levi glared at Kenny, who was picking in between his teeth with a curved nail.

_ That's an impressive face you got there. You gonna finally hit me back? _

_ When did you get so good at being a piece of shit? _ Levi lunged, tail snapping in the water, trying to get close to hit flesh. Anything. Anywhere.  _ He deserves it. _ He could hear Kenny's laughs echoing through the water as his uncle spun to the side, out of reach.

_ I'll stop being an asshole as soon as you grow some more, kid. _

Levi could smell his waist still leaking more blood, tendrils of red floating by him. Saw a shark off in the distance, turning in patient circles, waiting for a corpse at the end of the mer's battle.  _ Well, wait your fucking turn _ . He turned back to Kenny just in time to see a large fist swinging toward his head. Lights exploded in his vision, then went dark, molten heat tearing through his nose and left eye. He groaned, clutching at his face.

_ Now that's not very demon-like, but hey, still does the trick _ . Two large hands wrapped around both shoulders, shaking him, forcing him to open his eyes.  _ Hey now _ . Kenny stared at him, one eyebrow raised.  _ One day you’re gonna thank yer kind uncle for teaching you this stuff. _


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I fixed the weirdly large paragraph gaps.

The afternoon had stretched out long and unhurried in its passing. Just when a symphony of evening noise started, the insects of the field causing the entire field to vibrate in a chorus of buzzing, did Levi realize how quiet the field had been. He had been listening to the cries of hawks drifting overhead, floating along in the gentle breeze. The middle of the ocean was still a raucous place compared to this; the waves rushing overhead, the animals within clicking and whistling to each other, keeping their family close or strategizing a hunt. Shouts of mer, calling out for much the same reason. Out here, though, the only noise accompanying the cicadas was the wind as it rustled the strands of grass that waved around his head. 

He reached up to tear an end off its stalk, twirling it back and forth above him. It was intricately made, little yellow patterns that spiraled toward the end, lighting with a glowing golden color in the sunlight. Small hairs sprouted between the spiral, giving it a wild, unkempt appearance. Levi watched the sky behind it, marking time by the next cloud that would pass behind its skinny yellow stalk, then the next one. A while ago, he thought, his skin would've been burning and itching by now, laying out in the sun for so long. He glanced at his upheld arm - maybe it was a tad less pale? He turned his hand over; it had healed completely, the traces of who he had been for most of his life erased. Even the exposed bone on his forearms had completely disappeared. And he had spent so much time taking good care of them, too. Levi had hauled in a special sharpening stone one day to the camp, whereas before everybody had to go to the shore, hoping to find a suitable ledge and not get slammed against the shore by the waves in the process. It sent a twinge into his gut, and he frowned, tossing the piece of grass off behind his head.

"Brrrroow?"

Levi looked up and behind him; a small, grey face was suspended there, grey eyes blinking wide.

"Ah, Slim Jim, what a lovely surprise. Did you follow me out here?" He reached up over his head, scratching below the kitty's chin. The cat arched its neck, apparently appreciating his greeting. "They could've named you something better, by the way."

The cat sat down, tiny feet kneading the ground by his head, purring as Levi kept scratching him. "I hope you're agreeing with me."

Levi sat up, cross-legged, the cat quickly making its way into his lap, fuzzy paws sticking out over his leg. "Stop that," he ordered the cat, who was flexing little claws into his ankle, switching back and forth between feet. It obviously didn't care for following orders; he stroked the little cat's head, looking out over the plain of waving grass to grove of trees far in the distance.

"Just you and me out here, little buddy."

Slim Jim silently agreed, vibrating against Levi's legs. The wind picked up a little, ripples being blown through the golden field, mimicking the ocean waves behind him. It was hypnotic, one ripple always leading and following another, never ending or beginning. The waves seemed to stretch out beyond the grass, the trees swaying gently to their own rhythm, looking like living beings walking slowly across the horizon, the only break in the illusion the row of trunks rising from the ground, unmovable. He glanced back and forth from the dancing limbs to the solid earth below.

A small weight struck his calf; he realized he had been neglecting the responsibilities bestowed upon him by the little animal. "You know you don't have to hit me," scratching behind a pointed ear. The grey cat resumed vibrating, pushing its head further into Levi's hand. The claws returned to needling his skin.

"Is this an abusive relationship? Do I need to call the police on you?"

This. It had been happening more recently. Words came out sometimes, from nowhere. What the hell were police? Even as he thought the word, colors flashed in his head, red and blue, twirling around each other disarmingly, chaotically.

_ And there it is _ , Levi thought grimly. The strange thoughts were almost always accompanied by a throbbing headache; they were happening daily now. He pressed a hand to his temple, the pressure helping only minutely. Still, they only lasted several minutes. Levi sat there to wait it out, watching the small birds as they flitted between the golden stalks, sometimes catching glimpses of insects or dead grass in their beaks, flying off toward the trees again. A sparrow swooped down in front of the two, landing a couple arms' lengths away. The brown feathers rendering it almost invisible, only the movement of its hops seen between blades of grass giving it away. The little bird searched on the ground, bouncing in a zigzag pattern, looking under rocks and old stems for dinner. Slim Jim's purring stopped, grey head staring at the small bird from over Levi's legs. The sparrow was oblivious, flitting along the ground, pausing to tug at something in the dirt. The cat rose smoothly, flowing like water as he stepped closer, tail twitching low, its ears flattened. The cicadas buzzed in the background.

Suddenly the cat sprang forward, shooting like an arrow toward the bird. Panicked flapping burst from the grass as a dozen birds took off at once from the field, flying chaotically away, screaming alarms. The grey cat stopped where his meal had just been, watching with wide eyes toward the sky, tail still twitching. Levi could feel frustration radiating off the cat as it bent down, licking a paw. Maybe he was just remembering how it felt to go hungry.

"I know what that's like, little buddy." Levi stood, leaning back and twisting from side to side as he stretched. The headache had disappeared by then, as expected. "Come on, let's go back and I can give you some fish."

It wasn't winter yet, but the days had started getting shorter, the breeze carrying the threat of cold. He rubbed both arms, not used to the chill; the temperature was constant underwater, the ocean warm nearest the shore, where he and the other lived anyway. Not that there would have been any way to wear clothes in the ocean.  _ I wonder if Eren would lend me a coat. _

_ No _ , he thought angrily.  _ I'm fucking going back, remember? Don't ask him for his God damned coat _ . Eren had been looking sadder than a kicked puppy for the last week, every time he thought Levi wasn't looking. Of course he knew, even though Levi hadn't specifically told him he was leaving.  _ He's not stupid.  _ Of course, Eren would smile brightly at him whenever he caught Levi's gaze, only those green eyes retaining a hint of sadness.  _ And I'm the one that put that shit there _ .

He jammed his hands into his pockets as he trudged through the grass, slowly making his way back toward the house, sitting on its perch by the ocean. The others had finished their work for the day as well, Sasha and Connie chasing each other like little kids, Sasha hollering her head off when Connie grabbed her, picking her up by the waist with a triumphant grin. The grin was knocked off when Sasha jerked her head back, hitting him right in the nose.

"Connie! I'm so sorry! I didn’t mean to!" She yelled, still laughing even as she turned around, trying to hold his nose for him.

Under the shade of the building, Mikasa sat, back against the outer wall as she worked with something in her hands. Levi neared enough, watching as she carved a knife deftly around a small block of wood, a rough figure of a rabbit already forming.

She lifted her head as he approached the door to head inside. "Levi."

He stopped in front of her, hands still in his pockets. Mikasa was by far the least stress-inducing person that lived here, Eren included. Levi nodded toward her unfinished work. "Looks good."

"Do you mind sitting next to me?" Her eyes seemed like pools of black in the relative darkness as she stared up at him. The ground was cool as he sat to Mikasa's left, the bricks and the earth below shaded from the sun’s heat. He suppressed a shiver, crossing his arms and watching Sasha and Connie's game of tag. Connie seemed to have gotten over his smashed nose and was behind the lone tree near the house, popping back and forth from behind the trunk, just out of reach of Sasha's lunges.

"Can you tell me why Eren has been so sad lately?"

Levi raised an eyebrow, glancing to Mikasa. She hadn't looked away from her whittling as she spoke.  _ At least she doesn't waste anybody's time with small talk. _

He grunted, not speaking for a moment. "Eren told you where I'm from."

"Yes." Her voice was quiet.

"I... need to go back."

"Hmm." Another wood shaving fell to the ground, her knife working in silence. It was carving a long crevasse into the top now, making a gap between the long rabbit ears. Another yell floated out in the distance. He looked up to watch two long legs kicking out in the air from behind the tree, unsure as to whose they were.

There was a small meow to his left; Slim Jim had followed him home to take him up on his offer for food. He stood once more, dusting off his pants.

"I'm sorry, but I have a promise to keep."

"Levi." He felt her hand rest on his pant leg; she looked up at him again, face serious. "Thank you for telling me. And... thank you for not asking him to come with you."

Mikasa returned to her work as he walked into the dark building, standing to let his his eyes adjust. Another snore from the far wall ripped through the quiet of the room.  _ How have I even been sleeping at night _ ? He took a fish from the day's catch in the storage box by the sink, quickly preparing it and setting down a fresh plate of the meat down for the cat. Levi pointed severely at Slim Jim, who was already ignoring him, inhaling the fish. "Don't tell anyone I did this for you." Stepping over the cat, he followed the noise, sitting on his own bed across from Eren. Long brown hair stuck out in various directions, drool pooling under the sleeping man's mouth.  _ Disgusting. _ He looked so peaceful, even almost inhaling the pillow with every snore. Eren seemed to almost never use the blanket for its intended purpose, either thrown to the floor or used as a prop. This time, it was wedged between his legs as he slept on his chest, both arm thrown up around his head. His shirt had ridden up, exposing a patch of tan, dimpled skin right above the edge of his pants. Levi felt himself flush, standing up.  _ You've seen him naked, idiot. _

Those green eyes opened, looking confused as Levi shoved the offensive pillow back, laying down in front of Eren. "Wha...?"

"Shut up. Go back to sleep." Levi tucked his arm under his head, staring back into those eyes; they seemed to grow happier noticing it was him that had caused them to open, sending something thick and black worming into Levi's stomach. 

A heavy arm snaked around Levi's waist, wet face nearing dangerously close. Levi stopped him, slapping a hand to Eren's forehead. "Not until you wipe that shit off."

Eren reached up to his mouth, eyes still half-closed, grabbing the pillow and wiping his face with it before throwing the whole thing behind him off the bed. The arm rewrapped itself around him, pulling Levi's chest flush with the other's. The heavy pit in his gut started to dissolve as Eren brushed his lips against Levi's cheek, moving up to his forehead. He kept them there, pressed for a moment... then two. Then three.

_ You son of a - _

Levi pulled his head back. Eren's mouth hung open slightly, already deep asleep again. He smiled at the sleeping face, brushing a strand of hair back that had caught in long eyelashes, trying not to wake him again as he whispered, "I wonder what you're dreaming about."

Eren didn't stir, and he continued. "You feel like a dream yourself." Not like the dreams he had been having recently, ones full of confusion, chaos. Leaping figures in dark clothes, or bright colored lights among the black night. They tumbled over each other in his head, even after he woke, like in the field today. Most of it was flashes of items, shadows of things without background or context. A green glowing cross. Straight metal beams. Small little boxes. Flat rope across the throat. It was all meaningless clutter that would come at night, lying in Eren's bed. No, Eren felt like... like the type of dreams that make the mornings easier. Lighter. Peaceful.

Levi traced a light hand over Eren's jawline, outlining the shadow of a beard desperately trying to grow.  _ He forgot to shave today.  _ There was a small curl of hair tucked into the curve of his neck; Levi gently tugged it out, twisting it around his finger, then watching it slip back out of its spiral. Eren's mouth closed, curving to a small smile, still asleep.

_ I hope that when I wake back up I can remember you. I'm just asking for that. _


	22. Chapter 22

The country was preparing for war. Twenty thousand men had pledged service for the siege of Lisbon in the year 1147, centuries of warfare between Christians and Muslims on the Iberian peninsula culminating in a final great battle between the two powerful civilizations. There was great bloodshed, lives ruined on both sides as the war claimed its victims. For three months the battle raged on, fresh soldiers appearing in wave after wave from the far north, slowly eroding the Moor's willpower and food reserves. The city was handed over to the Christians on October 24, the soldiers and citizens inside dying not of arrows or swords, but of starvation. This was one of many battles that resulted in a push of Muslims out of Al-Andalus, their home for the past 400 odd years.  
  
Of course Eren didn't know about any of this, because nobody ever told him.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
They arrived early in the morning. It was one of the gardens near Eren's place, owned by some of the families nearby. Olive and orange trees lined the adobe brick walls that had been carefully tended and patched by the owners who were for some reason absent that day, and in the center, rows of vegetables, with grape vines strung over wooden spikes lodged in the ground. They had snuck in through the back, Levi now laying under one of the trees, one arm behind his head, the other holding a handful of olives, eating them as he stared up at the branches swaying above. Eren had picked a couple oranges and was standing there peeling one, staring down at Levi so casually spread out below him. He popped a slice in his mouth.  
  
Those grey eyes narrowed as they turned to him. "You're a thief."  
  
Eren just shrugged, replying, "I'll bring the old man some fish by later. His daughter is partial to tuna."  
  
Levi raised a dark eyebrow, tossing an olive at Eren's face. "Oh, you would know what his daughter is partial to?"  
  
He nodded with solemnity, kneeling down beside Levi on the ground. "Oh, man, you should see her, she's a real beauty." Eren grabbed his own chest with both hands, leaning over Levi. "Nice small tits, hair hanging down over that round ass, she keeps it in a braid, you know -"  
  
A knee was shoved in between Eren's and flipped him over to his back roughly, Eren still laughing. Levi growled on top of him, biting the skin under Eren's jaw. He moaned quietly. God that felt good.  
  
"Don't fuck with me."  
  
Eren raised his head, meeting Levi's eyes with mock seriousness. His heart was hammering, those light eyes lethal-looking. _So fucking sexy._ "Don't be so jealous. It's a mortal sin, you know," taking another bite out of the orange.  
  
"Good thing I've already died," Levi growled, burying his face back into his neck, reaching up just under the end of Eren's shirt, fingers ghosting up over his hips, his side. His hands were burning where their skin touched, little spots of warmth where they rested on his neck and hip.  
  
Eren bucked a little, and exhaled with a soft, "Fuck." Grabbing Levi by the hips, he hauled him directly on top of him. He sat up, following Levi, hands roaming around his neck and back, feeling that smooth undercut, and kissed him fervently; his mouth tasted so good, salty from the olives he had already eaten. Eren tugged on his lower lip with his teeth, Levi opening his mouth with a small gasp. Those sounds were everything, sending fire into Eren's chest. _Don't ever stop making them, Levi,_ he prayed. He ducked below, sucking on a spot of Levi's neck, trying his damn best to make a mark. 

  
Levi pressed his body flush with Eren's, and they rolled over together, Eren on top, hips resting between Levi's. Eren slipped a hand into Levi's pants, thumbs lightly sliding down the smooth groove between his thigh and his torso, then back up and around, fingers digging into his ass. Levi was silent, eyes closed as he let his head hang back, resting on his elbows. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, breath somewhat ragged. He held his hips up to let Eren pull off his pants, who threw them to one side. Levi was rock hard, his cock begging for attention. Eren bent, licking right up Levi's length. Above his head he heard Levi exhale roughly and laid back completely, arms giving out. Eren's mind was swimming; he wanted more, anything more, whatever Levi was going to give him.  
  
He grabbed under Levi's knee, bending it up until it was near Levi's ear, resting his weight on it. Levi's other knee dropped sideways to the ground, going limp on the ground beneath him. _Fucking lovely_. Eren pushed forward, bodies flush with each other, and kissed that beautiful person underneath him, tongues tangling.  
  
They both froze as a voice called out in the silence of the garden. "Hey Martin, look what's in here."  
  
Two men were walking leisurely into the enclosed area, looking around, swords swinging slightly at both of their hips. The one in front had his hands massaging his ass, and bent back, stretching. The other behind him was silent, greasy hair covering his face. They both walked over, stopping a couple meters away.  
  
The one in front scratched at his beard, licking his teeth as he grimaced and spat at the ground.  
  
"Looks like some peasant boys having fun wearing down the grass. To be honest," he said, shifting his belt, looking down at them with a frown, "I'd have preferred some nice clean girls by now. I think we deserve that after being on the road all day, don't you think, Martin?" He turned around to Martin, who was now picking his teeth with a small dagger. Martin shrugged. Not-Martin flapped his hand dismissively at him.  
  
Eren had slowly stood up while the man's back was turned, Levi still laying down on the grass unmoving, looking at the men, eyes shifting between the two. The first man turned back around at the sound. "Oi, hey lover boy, don't get up, we were gonna watch y'all do your thing for a while, you can even go first." He patted his stomach congenially, belching loudly. "I do like when they're all lubed up."  
  
Eren's heart was pounding, sending energy out to his limbs in waves. He hadn't even heard them walking in. They looked like soldiers, or mercenaries maybe, leather armor over their torsos, and of course the swords. Threat. Heat flared up in his chest, fists clenching.  
  
The man in front grabbed an olive overhead, popping it in his mouth, fingernails black with caked dirt and grime. "Mmm, delicious."  
  
"Go the fuck away." Eren spat in his direction, landing on the man's cheek. Color bloomed on the soldier's face, and he drew his sword with a loud metal screech.  
  
"What the fuck did you just say to me, boy?", the man roared, stomping over and swinging his fist at Eren's face, sword still in hand. Searing pain flared and his vision blackened, falling down hard on his ass. His eyes were wet as tears sprang up reflexively from being smashed in the nose; he looked toward Levi, who had jumped to his feet, crouching low, his face radiating intent to kill. The man swung around, pointing the sword at Levi, the tip inches from his chest.  
  
"Did I fucking tell you to stand up? Lay back down", he yelled. "Jesus fucking Christ." Levi didn't budge, and the man pushed the point of the sword forward, digging into Levi's chest, sitting Levi back down onto the grass hard. His face never changed, eyes never left the man's; blood appeared, running in small, red line just below his collarbone.  
  
The man huffed exasperatedly. "There. God damn, these peasants have no fucking manners." He turned around, pointing his sword at Eren still sitting on the ground. "You gonna be able to handle sitting there and wait your turn? Or you gonna be cheeky again?" Eren glared up at him, turning to spit a mouthful of blood into the grass beside him. A shape on the grass a couple meters away caught his eye - his bag.  
  
His bag with his knife.  
  
He looked back over to Levi where he was still sitting, blood now reaching an ab muscle, running to the side over the ridges. Eren noticed the bruise he had made already forming on Levi's neck, and his bicep twitched. He could do this. He glared back up at the man, then, physically forcing his muscles to obey, shrugged up at him, his face blank.  
  
"Fine, have him."  
  
Levi glanced over at him then, eyes widening. Eren remained still, staring back at him. He couldn't think of anything, nothing that wouldn't get them killed by these bastards. He needed time, but for what? _What do I do?_  
  
"Ey, good lad. What do you think, Martin?" The man dropped his sword on the ground and stepped on the handle, looking at Eren pointedly, daring him to grab it. He then looked to Martin, and started unbuckling the leather armor from his torso as he carried on.  
  
"They have to give us better saddles than they do. My ass been killing me ten days now." Leather unbuckled, it dropped to the ground. Eren glanced back over to the bag. _Just a couple feet away._  
  
"And where are they getting this bread they keep giving us? Like eating fucking bricks for breakfast."  
  
If he could just crawl over to it, he'd have the knife. But how without the men noticing?  
  
"Doing our part for our Lord and Savior, sure, but Jesus, they got us out here fighting these damn musulmen. You remember that battle the other day, the poor bastards just turned and ran like rabbits. They don't even die like real men." Another thud, as the guy had unbuckled and dropped his belt and scabbard on the ground.  
  
Eren turned to Levi, who hadn't moved. He seemed to be calculating something, glancing between the two men from under low brows.  
  
The first one nodded over to Martin. "Hey, which one do you want? If you want the small one, though, you're gonna have to go second, I know how you get with them. You can't just go around doing that shit to people." Martin grunted, not moving from his stance, arms crossed, turned toward Levi. _The bag is behind him. How can I get there without them noticing?_ Eren's heart raced, fists clenching. Martin stepped forward, Eren just out range of sight. _Now._   
  
The first one turned to Levi, dropping to his knees heavily by Levi's feet, tugging on his cock through his pants. Levi's legs were still spread somewhat; Eren saw Levi stop breathing, face smooth, concentrating. Both of the men were looking at Levi, Eren behind them, ignored. Now.  
  
"You a pretty one, aint you? Smooth skin and everything, looking like a little lordling or something." He ran a stained hand over Levi's inner thigh before slapping it, leaving a smudge of dirt. "Never fucked me a little prince before. Eh Martin," he looked away from Levi, "what do you think? Kinda looks like that farmer's kid back in -"  
  
Levi swung his legs to his chest at the exact time Eren had reached the bag, kicking the man leaning over him in the stomach. Eren heard the impact of the man's body landing on the ground to the right as he stood up, knife now in hand. Martin was standing there still, either surprised or stupid. Either was good enough. Eren was still behind him, unnoticed as he drove the knife into the juncture between Martin's neck and shoulder. Martin spasmed, arms jerking up, trying to reach behind him. Eren pushed on the knife, trying to drive it deeper. Martin gurgled once and collapsed to the ground.  
  
He looked over, vision tunneled down to a point, blood singing. Levi was seated on top of the man's chest, swinging at the man's faces with blows from both fists. The man's face was already bloodied and broken, and Levi grabbed at the man's throat, eyes wide with rage. He didn't seem to realize he was yelling, arms flexing as his hands tightened savagely, cutting off the man's airway. The man was already mostly unconscious, making only weak attempts, slapping at Levi's arms, before going limp some moments later, little bubbles of blood leaking out of the man's mouth. Levi didn't let go, eyes hidden, hair shaking in front of his face from the force of his grip.  
  
"Levi."  
  
Levi kept hold of the man's neck, who had stopped moving a while ago. Levi didn't look up, talking to the man's face. "You have to keep holding or they wake back up." He scowled, squeezing harder.  
  
"Levi, I'm sure he's dead."  
  
Levi exhaled suddenly, releasing the man's neck and standing up. He jumped back and forth between his feet and started pacing around, rubbing his eyes. "Fuck, FUCK!" He screamed at the sky, turning and kicking the man's head.  
  
Eren had been clenching and unclenching his own fists, and realized just now how much he was shaking with adrenaline. He started walking over to Levi.  
  
Levi turned around and pointed at him. "Don't come near me." His face was twisted up in rage. "Don't you fucking come near me." His voice broke as he screamed at the sky again, head falling back. "FUCK!" His head dropped forward then, hands on his hips. Levis breaths were still coming in pants, and as he stood there, they slowed somewhat. Eren looked around; two dead men were lying on the ground.  
  
"What a fucking day."  
  
Levi laughed once, sharply exhaling."You son of a bitch. You fucking asshole." He finally looked to Eren, still breathing heavily, a smile ghosting over his lips.  
  
"You wanted to watch him fuck me, didn't you?"  
  
_Thank God. Oh, thank God._ Eren strode forward, gathering Levi to him, their embrace tight. Eren stuffed his face in the crook of Levi's neck. _He's alright. He's safe._ They stayed there for minute, holding each other, both of them trembling every so often. Eren mumbled against his neck, "Yeah I did," and Levi grabbed his armpit, fingers digging into the flesh. Eren laughed as he pulled away, looking into Levi's eyes. They were still wide, fire dancing inside. Eren took Levi's head and crushed it against his chest, not wanting to let him go. Levi was silent, arms wrapped around Eren, clenching tighter every so often.  
  
Eren spoke softly, fingers stroking through Levi's hair. "You really need to stop almost dying."  
  
Levi mumbled out against his chest, voice low. "I could tell you the same thing."  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
The dead body slipped from his shoulders, Eren watching it fall for the briefest of seconds before hitting the water with a splash.  
  
"I'm sorry," Levi spoke, standing near the head of the two horses they had found outside the garden. The second man was still hanging limp over the saddle, banners flapping in the ocean breeze between bloody legs. "I'd help, but -"  
  
"No. Don't." Eren wiped his hands on his shirt before hauling the other body over his shoulder. Thankfully nobody had seen anything that had occurred in the garden, both of them fearing the men had come with company, but they seemed to have been traveling alone. Levi had suggested they use the horses that were resting outside the garden walls to haul their owners to the ocean. _Let the fish eat them._ The second body fell into the water with a wet slap. Eren's shirt went next, slower now, lifted, floating on the breeze toward the ocean, red covering white. No reason to keep it, since there was no way the blood was coming out of the fabric. _I'm sorry, Mikasa. I'll pay you back._

Levi hadn't moved, was staring at him, the reins in one hand, black hair shifting in his eyes with each gust of wind. _I can help him cut that when we get back._ Eren strode forward, hands grabbing at Levi, pulling him hard to his chest.  
  
"Let's go home."  
  
"We still have to sell the horses," Levi mumbled into his shoulder.  
  
_Oh. Yeah._ Eren pulled Levi back so he could lean down, kissing him. "You're right." He smiled down, hoping Levi might return it.   
  
Dark eyebrows knitted together. "I... I'll go sell them in town. Alone."  
  
He seemed so serious. _Why does he have that face on? What would he need to do alone-_ Eren's smile fell. _Oh. No. No, not now. Not after... No. Not now_. Eren gripped Levi's arms. "Um, Levi, I mean, Levi..." He couldn't, the words wouldn't come out. His mind was racing, panicking. _Don't leave now. Give me more time. Maybe, maybe he didn't like that I killed that man. Is he angry at me? Why now? Why does it have to be now?_ He didn't realize he had been digging his fingers into Levi's skin until Levi jerked one arm out of his grip. Eren let go, his arms hanging stupid, useless by his side.

Levi rubbed at an arm, staring up at Eren in confusion. "What are you freaking out about? You look like someone punched you in the gut."  
  
"I, um..." Eren reached back, gentler this time, taking the shorter man by the hands, pulling them up between them. Holding them to his chest. Never wanting to let go. "I want to come with you. I want to be there."  
  
"No," Levi replied, too quickly, but didn't pull his hands away. "I need to go alone. I have some... stuff to take care of."  
  
_So he is... But..._ The thoughts weren't coming in, his mind racing. His breath picked up, heart pounding out a beat, vibrating with the rest of his body. _Don't. Don't go. Don't leave me. Not yet._ He felt stuck, useless. Helpless. Levi's face blurred, tears spilling over, one itching as it drew a line over his cheek, dripping off his chin.  
  
"Eren, what...?'" Levi looked so concerned, like he hadn't just told him so casually he was leaving forever.  
  
He let one hand go so he could wipe his eyes with his arm, sniffing. _Stop. Calm down_. He tried to smile down at Levi. "Will... will you... Can you come see me at least? I don't -" a hiccuped sob ripped out anyway. "I know you'll be busy and I just, I just don't want -" _Don't want you to leave me_.  
  
Levi raised his eyebrows. "Oh. Oh, God, you asshole." He squeezed Eren's hand. "I'm not leaving you right now. I'll be back in a couple hours, I'm just going to town and I'll be back." Eren didn't respond, and Levi gripped his chin, face serious. "Eren. I'm coming back."


	23. Chapter 23

The leather reins were roped around his hand as Levi led the two horses up the path to Sina, wind whipping his hair into a frenzied dance around his head. He hadn't meant to let Eren think he was leaving now, but neither had he wanted to tell him the reason for going to Sina alone. Last market day had been a waste of time; nobody had looked familiar from his childhood, not that he had gone to town often. He had asked some people about Kenny's whereabouts. Nothing. Nobody had even heard of anyone by that name, much less where he was, or had gone. There was still one place he could ask around - the brothel. Everyone of course knew Kenny had died, but, well... maybe.  
  
Levi didn't even know why he was asking. Why did he care about where the bastard went? Why was he stalling? There was nothing to keep him from dropping the whole thing, just go back to the ocean. _Jump in, it's right there. Go back home._  
  
Except.  
  
A cloud passed overhead, like a giant bird blocking out the sun. Small clipped thuds were growing behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder. A lone traveler, on a dirty white horse, its hipbones sticking out of hollow sides, was behind him a ways, the man's torso swaying from side to side as the horse approached on Levi's left. His brim was low on his face, beard covering his jaw below sharp cheekbones, saddlebags jangling heavy with the horse's steps.  
  
Levi shouted after him without even really knowing why. "Hey!" The man, already ahead of him now, looked back, sunken brown eyes curious as to the reason for the shout. _It's not him_.  
  
"Sorry. Nothing." The man tipped his hat, continuing toward the city. Levi watched as he kicked into the horse's ribs, the horse breaking into a tired trot. The traveler was already nearing a large grouping of tents in front of them both, erected at the edge of the city, white walls flapping like a flock of crazed birds, trying to take off from the ground. Gypsies, maybe? A large group of horses were grazing, heads low in the field to the far left, tied up in pairs among the tall grass. Levi neared, watching with growing suspicion. The group was far too large to be a family caravan, stretching up to the shore on the right. He walked past another house along the road, the camp fading far into the distance on the left as it came into view. No way to go around. _Must be a festival_, Levi thought. They didn't obstruct the road, though, so he kept on. He could see the people that were milling about between the tents; only men, mostly dirty, probably haven ridden on the road for some time.  
  
Levi passed the first of the tents, a group of four men looking up at him over a circular fire, kettle buried in ashes. All silent. _Grim fucking festival._ One scratched at his stomach, hanging low and round like a cauldron strapped to his torso. Next to one of the tents, a large pile of steel and leather armor was piled up. Soldiers. This was an army encampment. Levi picked up his place a little, his gut twisting, telling him to hurry up or turn around. Why were they here? Another in the group pushed the fire with a boot, a fresh plume of grey smoke contrasting against the white canvas tent. Levi continued on, a murmur low behind him, then laughter bursting out.  
  
There were more groups of tired men every couple meters, some standing and shouting and spitting, some lying on the ground, taking naps with saddle blankets folded behind their heads, legs propped up on logs. All of them in various armored outfits. Two boys ran out on the right behind a tent, one carrying logs of wood, the other a stack of papers in one hand, a small box in the other. They sprinted across the road in front, vanishing back into the forest of tents on the other side. Levi could see the end of the encampment some twenty meters away, tents ending where the city's poor, outer district began, slanted roofs rising up little higher than the sea of white.  
  
"Hey, you!"  
  
Levi kept his eyes straight ahead, not turning around. _Maybe they weren't talking to me_.  
  
"Stop!"  
  
_Shit._ He looked to his left; two men were jogging toward him, both wearing swords on their waist, clothing and leather armor similar to the men in the garden. Actually, similar to all the men in the camp.  
  
The thought raced like a lightning bolt in his mind, and he almost slapped himself. _Fuck. I am so fucking thick. The soldiers in the garden were from this camp_. Levi stopped, hand resting over the dagger in his pocket that he had dug out from one of the bodies before dumping them into the ocean. The men slowed, walking up to him.  
  
"What are you doing with those horses?"  
  
Levi glanced between them; the one speaking had already pulled his sword out, face hard as he pointed the tip toward Levi. His shirt was opened, the ends tucked into patched leather pants, a large cross pendant dangling over a hairy chest. The other still had a mug in one hand, standing somewhat behind the first.  
  
He stood there, silent. There was nothing to say. He hadn't bothered to take off the crossed flags hanging from the saddles, thinking they were some city sigil._ I am so stupid. Of course it's a military banner_. Levi obviously didn't belong to the group, his worn clothes not matching in style to anyone's he had seen so far.  
  
So he tried lying anyway. "Im returning these horses to the -"  
  
Levi was cut off by the second man, who pointed with the mug to one of the horses behind him. "Wait, Fritz, isn't that Martin's horse? The piebald with the one white foot?" The man, apparently agreeing with the first in his treatment toward Levi, threw his mug to the ground and drew his sword as well, both of them advancing with quick steps. _Fuck._ Two swords against one dagger. Wasn't much chance of winning out of the water.  
  
He dropped the reins in his hand, sprinting in the direction of the city, grabbing the dagger out of his pocket as he sprinted down the road, loud shouts ringing out behind him. His boots were slapping onto the dirt, curious faces popping up around canvas walls as he ran past. _Might as well have run into a shark den dragging corpses, you dumbass_.  
  
His breath was growing ragged by the second, lungs burning as he pumped his arms. If he could just reach the city, he could disappear, run into a building, something. _Surely they don't control the entire city. I can hide once I get there_.  
  
There were shouts ahead of him. Some men stepped out onto the road, swords in hand to see what the commotion was about. He swerved around a group, almost to the buildings now. One tent was pitched halfway into the road; he sprinted around it, legs screaming. A body appeared from around the side, and Levi slammed into it, caught off guard. He hit the ground hard, shoulder alight with fire, mouth filled with dirt and blood. Adrenaline saving most of the pain for later, he twisted to look at the man he had bowled into, who had fallen on his ass, cursing and looking surprised for having been knocked over. Levi scrambled up to take off again.  
  
His vision blackened, a blow slamming into the back of his skull. The ground rushed up to meet him again, landing back on his side as his legs gave way, dropping heavy. There was ringing in his ears; he blinked, black spots dancing around. A plane of brown was blocking half of his vision, the other half filling with blurry outlines. He tried to get up, not able to think, his sight, his mind slippery, unable to hold onto. _Move_. Words rang out in the fog of his mind. Get up. His body felt wrapped tight in a heavy blanket, his arms and legs refusing to work. _Fight_. Through the tunnel of black, the boots shifted around his head. The ringing was coalescing now into distinct sounds, muffled voices.  
  
Pain exploded in his stomach as one of the boots swung a kick at him. He groaned, curling in on himself. The blanket was unwrapping slowly, the pain in his stomach matching the pain in his head, lighting a fire through his bones. _Fight. You know how_. The weight on his body lifted.  
  
The voices were starting to take form, the muffled turning, twisting into the angry. "... peasant.... stole Martin and Gerd's horses..."  
  
"What .... with him?"  
  
".... sergeant ..."  
  
Levi staggered up, head spinning, vision in a pinpoint, a curtain of black. The voices cut off. His heart was raging in his chest for the second time that day, ready to escape.

_Fight_.

He fixated on a bare patch of chest in front of him, sending all his remaining energy to his arms as he lurched forward, thrusting the dagger at it. It lodged in something hard, and he threw his body behind the knife. The weight dropped backward, Levi falling with it, breath knocked out as he fell on top of the butt of the dagger, driving it through bone with a loud crack. The air grew louder, buzzing in his ears.  
  
There was another blow, again to the back of his head, and the blackness rushed in like a wave rushing to fill a sudden gap in the water, obliterating everything.  
  


* * *

  
  
The leaves glittered gold, the afternoon sun sending streaks of sunlight through the trees, white, tall pillars standing in spaced regularity on the far bank. The wind grazed the top of the river, disrupting the reflection of the clouds above, the bright blue of the sky painting the surface. Levi sat near the edge of the water, running his hands through the head of hair that lay in his lap. Soft. He could sit here for hours, the sun warming him from above, the grass delightfully cool from below. He scratched at an ankle absently.  
  
The head shifted beneath his hand, letting it slip down the warm back as they sat up. Brown eyes, a couple inches from his face; wide, framed by light red hair.

The woman, obviously a woman, rested her hand on his chest. "Are you awake?"  
  
He twirled an auburn lock around his finger. "Of course I am."  
  
The woman frowned, leaned even closer. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his own, searching for something. A cool hand threaded through his own hair, teasing a strand back from his forehead. She stared at her hand as she spoke, a sad expression on her face.  
  
"No. I don't think you are."  
  
The hand released his hair, drawing back, golden eyes never leaving his as she slapped him hard across the face.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Levi bolted upright, sputtering, water streaming down his body. He tried standing, then fell, off-balance, hands pulled behind his back by something wrapped around his wrists. Blood pounded in his ears as he jerked his head around, coughing water from his lungs.  
  
"Sorry we interrupted your beauty rest." The man in front of him laughed at his own joke, throwing the now-empty bucket down to the ground beside Levi.  
  
"So, sergeant, what do we do with him?"  
  
A group of men stood over him, seven, no, eight. Two nearest him had their swords in hand, pointed at Levi still sitting on the ground. The one that had spoken faced a red-haired man still in full armor, a couple small ornamental medals on his weather-beaten leather. The sergeant shifted, hands on his hips, taking his time as he looked down at Levi, seeming to ponder the situation.  
  
"Well," he spoke, hand rubbing a beard that struggled to grow. He didn't look more than 20. _Just a fucking kid. Wonder who's dick he sucked for a promotion this early in his life._  
  
"I say, obviously, that we..." He looked around, running his hands against his pants.  
  
Levi flexed his arms that were pulled behind his back, rough rope wrapped around his wrists. How long had he been out? They didn't seem too far from where he had just been; the road was visible from the other side of the tent he was cornered against. He tried tugging one hand out of the bindings as the boy stuttered on.  
  
The man on the left, pointing the sword at him, spoke. "Sergeant Floch, I say we string him up and let the crows at him."  
  
"No," Floch answered. _Ah, so he can think for himself_.  
  
"We bring him along. Put him with the other prisoners." The sergeant looked down at him, nostrils flaring, one hand on his sword hilt. "We always need bodies on the front line."  
  
_So kind._ Levi blew him a kiss.  
  
The man to the left stepped forward, fist slamming into his head.


	24. Chapter 24

Levi stepped his feet into the water. It was different from the ocean; the cool water ruffled past his ankles, tickling at the sensitive skin. The noise itself was a constant, small rushing as the water leaped and dove into and over the stones blocking its path. He felt the tug of the current as he picked one foot up slightly, pulling it through the heavy water one way, then another. Again, different from the ocean, this water felt alive, like it could be fierce, wearing down boulders and sweeping away entire trees if it just grew a little more.  
  
"Move it!"  
  
Fire slashed across his back, and he couldn't help but yell out loud as the whip opened a line in his skin. The person in front shuffled forward, the rope tying the entire slave line jerking his hands forward. Him and a dozen others were pulled behind one of the food carts, the oxen grunting as they pulled the heavy wagon up the hill. They had been walking for days, heading slowly south-southwest, leading Levi away from the ocean, away from Sina. At least the cold water numbed the bloody, raw blisters of his feet. Nothing to be done about the ones under the rough hemp that was tied around his wrists and neck, keeping him tied to the person in front. Every night was a struggle for freedom, but they were too tight. The twisting and yanking just left his hands bloody and aching every morning. If he could just get out of those fucking bindings... Left, to the ocean, then left again; he could follow the shoreline back home. The rope yanked at his arms again; he ground his teeth, the new wound on his back shifting against his rough shirt, pain flaring.  
  
The line rounded the top of the hill, the light breaking over him. No water in sight. Soldiers, men in varied dress of leather or steel, stretched far into the distance, backed by miles of wagons, pack lines, free and bound people alike walking in between them all, filling in the mass until it was one giant rolling tidal wave of movement, stretching to obliterate everything in its path.  
  
A ripple moved through the sea of people as the front came to a halt, the thousands of men seeming to have choreographed a wave of dismounts. The wagon pulling the rope of bodies, including his, came to a stop, the oxen swinging their giant heads around in relief. The driver stepped off his perch, stretching, twisting.  
  
There was a yank on the rope around his neck, almost pulling Levi backwards off his feet, and he turned around; the man behind him had dropped to his knees, gasping for breath, his face in his bound hands. Levi tugged on the rope, giving the man in front some warning before he reached forward, grabbing the man behind him under his arm, trying to get him to stand.  
  
"They'll kill you if you look like you're about to die anyway."   
  
The man shook his head, still hiding his face. "I can't," he gasped. "My leg, it's still broken." He started openly weeping into his hands as he responded, "I can't do it. I'd rather die."  
  
"That can be arranged."  
  
The blonde was back. Levi had seen him riding up and down the entirety of the army, inspecting, barking orders in his high voice, dead eyes floating over the heads of everyone. This time, he dismounted, black boots stepping to the ground gracefully, hips swaying. He came to stand a couple feet away, gloved hands clasped behind him, staring at the kneeling man with shark eyes. Several men followed close behind.  
  
"Would you like to die, good sir?"  
  
The man dropped his hands, looking at the officer with his mouth open, tears still streaming out of wide eyes. The blonde drew out a long, thin sword, stepping forward, bowing to the man, one hand over his heart.  
  
"Then, may God have mercy." And plunged the sword into the man's belly, twisting the blade.   
  
The man's surprised expression never changed, left arm twitching once, violently. The officer pulled the sword out, turning back to one in her entourage. They handed her a cloth; she turned back, watching the dying man writhe on the ground as she wiped her blade clean. Levi glanced down to him; he was gasping, face turning red, then blue.  
  
"And who are you?" The officer dropped the cloth on the ground as he re-sheathed his sword, turning to stare down at Levi. He was easily a foot taller, and Levi glared up into black eyes. The man behind the blonde scampered forward, grabbing the cloth from the dirt before retreating quickly.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to fucking know?" The gasps beside him were shallower, faster. Please let him die soon, Levi thought silently.  
  
A blonde eyebrow raised. "Oh?" A black boots stepped forward. "You are not a muslim, are you?"  
  
"About as muslim are you are a man."  
  
The eyebrow twitched. "The commander said I look dashing in my new beard."  
  
"I bet he did. Where'd you buy it?"   
  
The gasps ended with one large sigh, the man's final breath leaving collapsing lungs. No more sounds came from him again.  
  
"Hmm." The eyes never wavered, just staring as he smiled down at Levi. "You are very interesting, I have to say. A savage pagan, obviously, but you have fight." The smile grew wider, flashing sharp teeth. The eyes were dead as ever.   
  
"They told me of your situation. Everyone else here is a prisoner of war, but not you. You did not fight. You ran, like a rabbit runs from the mighty hunter." He paused, one finger picking at a manicured thumbnail. "What do you think?"  
  
Levi glanced down at the dead man on the ground. "What? Of this circus?" Glanced back up at the officer. "Real funny. I'd be laughing, but honestly, I need to take a shit. Don't want anything to accidentally come out."  
  
The blonde clapped, eyes widening as he laughed. "Delightful! You are very bold, it is so refreshing!"

He turned around, addressing his company. "It seems you can do well to learn how to grow some balls from this little man."   
  
The three soldiers straightened up further, saluting in unison. "Yes, Lieutenant Yelena!"  
  
He just sighed, turning back to Levi. "I was asking what you thought, how you feel meeting our righteous God very soon. Do you feel elated? Joyful?" Levi didn't answer; he continued. "No, I suppose you feel the fear of all pagans, the fear of hell, the fear of eternal fire. But no matter!" He pointed a finger up, the other hand tucked into an armpit. "God is merciful. And so am I."  
  
He pulled out his sword once more. "I will give you time to pray for forgiveness before I send you to Him. Would you like me to tell you the words, or would you prefer something more personal?"  
  
The man to Levi's left, silent until now, started muttering in Arabic, glancing between Levi and the ground. His hands were still bound to both the man and body lying on the ground. There was nowhere to go.   
  
"Yelena!" A familiar voice rang out. Levi turned, seeing a ghost ride in on a large black horse, flanked by a dozen officers.  
  
Commander Pixis.  
  
_What...?_ Levi stared at the ancient mer. _How did he get here?_  
  
The bald man dismounted and walked over, steel plates complaining of the movement. A handlebar mustache moved as he called out, "How are you treating the new recruits, Yelena?"  
  
"With justice, sir!" He turned, bowing and saluting Pixis. Pixis glanced over... then did a double take, wrinkled eyes really meeting Levi's, widening imperceptibly. After a second, he looked back at Yelena, who had straightened up again.  
  
"And how are they treating you?"  
  
"With much spirit, sir!"  
  
Pixis' mustache moved, hiding a small smile. "I am not surprised in the slightest." He cleared his throat, pretending to look at Levi for the first time. "You there. What's your name?"  
  
_What is he playing?_ "Levi."   
  
Yelena's black eyes darted between the two.  
  
Pixis seemed to think for a moment. "Levi. Very strong name. The Levites were named after the famous Levi, son of Jacob."  
  
"Is that so?" Levi glanced back to Yelena, who was silent.  
  
"Levi. How about you accompany me around the camp?" Pixis motioned to the taller blonde. "Lieutenant? Would you care to reward bravery?"  
  
Yelena saluted him once again. "As you wish, commander!"

Taking the hint, a soldier behind him rushed forward, knife out, grabbing at the ropes around Levi's wrists, sawing him free. They fell away after a couple seconds, and Levi stood, gingerly touching at the stripped skin. _That's going to leave a scar. Hopefully Eren_ \- he buried his name deep down. _You can think about him later_. He followed automatically behind Pixis as the man started walking off, toward the tents being pitched a ways off. _Pixis was here, the old commander of the Sina group of mer. How did he...? Oh. God fucking damn it, not again. Erwin had said he died as he got hauled onto a boat. What if he had gotten away somehow_? Nobody had followed to see what had happened to the centuries-old mer. _Nobody could help_, Erwin's voice echoed in his head.   
  
_He has some fucking explaining to do._  
  
The man was well-known through the camp already, foot soldiers and officers alike standing to salute as he passed by. He'd wave, eyes crinkling as he smiled. One person handed him a bladder of liquid, bowing as they did so. Pixis clapped him on the shoulder, thanking him for the present before taking a big swig, gasping at the end.   
  
They kept walking, reaching a large tent with men walking in, carrying various items, a rug, a chair. More salutes, and then Pixis ducked inside, Levi and company following. A large rug took up most of the space, framing the area under a massive table covered with various maps, handwritten reports, mugs of wine, a fresh steaming bowl of stew. A small bedroll was tucked into one corner.   
  
Pixis winked at Levi. "Still more luxurious sleeping arrangements than we're both accustomed to, eh?" He turned to rest of the group that had followed them into the tent. "I would like some time alone to eat my dinner, if that is acceptable by all."  
  
Everyone saluted before starting to file out. Yelena stood there.  
  
"Sir, would you like the prisoner to stay?"  
  
Pixis' laugh was loud, rough. "Yelena, you worry for an old man's safety? I am touched." He grew serious. "I'm sturdier than I seem."  
  
He bowed quickly, stepping backwards out the tent as he did so. "Yes, commander."  
  
Pixis sat down, taking another mouthful from the gifted bladder, not talking for several moments as he stared out the tent flap. Levi stared out as well, listening to all footsteps fade away. They were alone.   
  
A loud belch rang out, and Pixis patted his stomach, sighing. "What a great gift for the night." He held out the bladder to Levi, who shook his head. "Honey mead. Delicious. You're missing out." Pixis swallowed another gulp.   
  
Levi sat down near the commander. "Why are you here?"  
  
Pixis raised both eyebrows. "I could ask you the same thing. It's usually customary to ask how the other is doing, by the way. How have you been, Levi?"  
  
"Why are you commander here as well?"  
  
"Ah," Pixis replied. "That is an interesting story, one that I will tell you -" He frowned, holding up a hand, another burp coming out. "Sorry." He smoothed a hand over his chest, continuing. "One that I will tell you, but I have a feeling you already have a general idea of how a mer can turn human again."  
  
"A general idea," he replied with faint sarcasm. "Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."  
  
Pixis laughed. "Always so spicy, our Levi! I bet you've been giving all the poor ladies a hard time since you came back to civilization.  
  
"No," he laid his hands down on the table. "I do owe you that much. The truth is, I had no idea it was possible to come back to land, as I'm sure you know." He paused, drumming his fingertips on the wood. "I was caught off guard by some fishermen. They cut the end of my tail off, and rowed back to shore, where they dumped me by the shore to die. I couldn't go back to the ocean, for reasons I'm sure are clear to you."  
  
Levi nodded, understanding. Not being able to swim? He would've been eaten within the week. But who were the fishermen that would haul a mer onto their boat, just to amputate the mer's tail and skip off?  
  
"As you are also aware of, the reality of transformation was not available to me until only after it happened. It was... intense."  
  
Levi huffed. _Fucking understatement_. "That still doesn't tell me how you got roped into a religious war."  
  
"Ah, well, yes," the older man actually seemed a little embarrassed. "That was actually an accident. I had acquired some money after working as an extra hand for a tavern and was in the, um... pleasure house, shall we say? I had introduced myself as 'commander' on accident to the owner of the establishment, and a couple officers in the common room overheard. They assumed I was a new officer sent by the King, and, well..." Pixis motioned around him. "Here we are."  
  
Levi sat back, crossing his arms. "Here we fucking are. Can I go home now?"  
  
Pixis stared at him, serious. "Levi. You must realize the situation we both are in."  
  
He sighed internally, clenching his jaw. Of course he did. He wasn't an idiot. Those underneath Pixis looked twitchy enough, Yelena in particular ranting about his merciful God of war. As obeying they are of his rank, Levi didn't doubt the moment Pixis acted seditious, they wouldn't hesitate to run a sword into his stomach as well. Levi was only free temporarily.  
  
"Could we sneak out?"   
  
The bald man shook his head. "Impossible. We are directly in the center of a 10,000 man camp. And I'm sorry to say, Levi," Pixis looked guilty, tapping the table again, "but you have to go back to the prisoner line. If you don't, we will both be under intense scrutiny. I do want to help your situation, of course, but I won't be able to from the grave. I hope you understand."  
  
He slapped the table now with both palms, then picked up the mug to his left, taking a swig. "But! We can stay here for a while longer, at any rate. Tell me what happened to you! Last I saw you, you were under Erwin's wing in Trost. What happened?"  
  
"You left, and Erwin took command of the Sina group."  
  
"I had suspected of much. He has done a good job with the entire area. The citizens of Sina spoke of the last Titan landfall being years ago."  
  
"That was mostly under your command, sir."  
  
"Hmm. You would think after living for some 300 odd years, I could've done a better job of keeping you newly turned alive. Let at least some pass the hundred year mark."  
  
Levi grunted. "You missed Erwin's birthday party."  
  
"Is that so? It seemed like just last year, him dying such a terrible death." Pixis sighed nostalgically, staring up at the tent ceiling. "Did you know he was a blacksmith, from before? Had a wife and children, of course they all died centuries ago. Makes me wonder, living so long, how much time I have left, now that I am human again. Maybe my age will finally catch up with me, and I will be allowed to die for real."  
  
"They're still human, even with tails."  
  
Sharp eyes glanced toward him. "I wonder what makes you think that."  
  
_Was he kidding_? "Do you not think so?"  
  
Pixis gestured in a noncommittal way with one hand. "What is humanity? Family, community. Those are all taken away when we are stuck down there."  
  
"And we gain new ones."  
  
The older man's hand dropped to his mustache, smoothing it down as he paused. "Hmm. I suppose... I suppose you are right. How old are you again?" Pixis laughed. "You are certainly wiser than me, and I could be your ancient ancestor."  
  
They both lapsed into silence, Levi tucking his hands into his armpits. It was a cold night, the thin tent walls doing nothing to keep the chill from sleeping into his skin.   
  
"How long have you been on land again?"  
  
Levi glanced over at Pixis before staring at his lap again. "About... two months. Maybe three."  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
"With... a friend." Wide, green eyes flashed into his mind, and he squeezed his own shut. _Not now._ The aching in his chest came anyway, settling up a nice throb with every heart beat._ Stop._  
  
"What a generous friend!" Pixis' eyes were sparkling under bushy eyebrows. "I hope you compensated them fully. I trust Erwin didn't spend all that time with you without imparting a sense of old fashioned chivalry."  
  
Levi didn't answer. Had he treated Eren right? Paid him back for everything he had done? The ache in his chest turned into a stabbing pain. _Good. I probably deserve it._  
  
The commander stood, looking down at Levi with a mixture of guilt and pity. "I am terribly sorry about your situation. I really am. If I could get away with letting you free tonight, or even helping you escape, I hope you believe me when I say I would. In the meantime, please hang on. I will think of something."  
  
Levi stood as well, saluting in the fashion of the other soldiers. "Commander."   
  
He lifted the tent flap back, the cold air hitting him in the face, knocking the breath out of him. The tent had definitely helped with the cold. Pixis followed behind, catching the nearest soldier, issuing an order for the prisoner to be taken back. The soldier led him back through the forest of tents, the moon lighting a path on the ground between tent lines, mugs, muddy boots strewn all over. They reached his wagon, prisoners sleeping on the hard dirt, still bound in a line. The soldier pulled a bundle of rope out of the wagon, tying Levi's wrists back together. The open skin caught on fire the moment the rope touched it again; Levi let out a hiss of pain. _God fucking damn it, shit, fuck -_  
  
The soldier, having roped his wrists and around his neck, and knotting the end to the rest of the prisoner line, left him alone. He sat on the ground, the sounds of soft snoring by both men and oxen in the background as he stared up. The stars were burning bright against the black sky, brazenly showing off how free they were. Free to go wherever they wanted, and yet they still hung there, unmoving. _Maybe they didn't have anywhere else they'd rather be_.  
  
Levi pulled his knees up, and couldn't help but shiver against the cold. He remembers the bed back at Eren's place. It was warm. _Of course it was warm. Eren always slept with his half his fucking long ass body on me, almost suffocating me every night, the son of a_ ...   
  
He gripped his legs harder, his chest caving in on itself. _Stop_.  
  
Those eyes, watching him walking away, toward town. Eren had watched him go like Levi would disappear into thin air. _He knows, right? I told him I was coming back. I promised. He knows I'm coming back. _


	25. Chapter 25

_Eren_, the ocean whispered. Maybe the ocean was female? It sounded like it; calming, like fingers being run through hair. He stared out over the water, the sounds of the waves and the gulls falling away. There was a ringing in his ears.   
  
_Eren_, it whispered again. _Come back to me._  
  
_What do you mean?_  
  
_Eren._  
  
A hand grabbed his shoulder, and he turned, slow. Mikasa. Her lips were moving silently; the ringing faded away as she kept speaking.   
  
"... not hear me calling you?"  
  
"Um..." Eren shook his head. "I'm sorry, what?" The thoughts slipped away, like always. Nothing would hold in his head, everything was fuzzy, like he had taken his brain out and replaced it with clouds. There was nothing to think about anyway. Nothing important.  
  
"I was calling because you've been standing here for hours." Mikasa squeezed her hand, still resting on his shoulder. "Are you hungry?"  
  
"Oh... no, I don't think so."   
  
Mikasa stayed, hand on his shoulder, as they both stood looking out over the water.   
  
Five days.  
  
It was a bright, sunny day. Too bright. The gulls cried out, warning each other off, floating in midair on the strong breeze, diving into the waves for food. Riding the waves. Repeat. Repeat. Forever until they die.   
  
The sun, too, it came up today. It'll set soon. It came up yesterday, and it'll rise tomorrow. Eren looked up at the sun for a bit, before going to back to staring at the hungry birds, green spots now weaving in and out of his vision. _I wonder what would take for it to stop rising._  
  
It had been five days now. Five different sunrises.   
  
"Eren."  
  
He looked down, meeting Mikasa's eyes. The scar on her cheek had never healed, a small, pink line running under her right eye. He had tried learning how to cast a line when he was younger, and almost took her eye out. Still hated line fishing. He ran his fingers over it, her skin smooth.  
  
"I'm sorry about this."  
  
Her hand came up to meet his, holding them both against her face, eyebrows furrowing. "Eren. We're worried about you."  
  
_She's so beautiful_, the thought came floating up, another cloud to hover with the rest. _Why aren't you with anyone, Mikasa?_ He put his other hand on the back of her head, pulling her into a hug, feeling hesitant arms wrap gently around him. He stared over her head, down the coast as they stood there, over at the sparse, long grasses tucked in between wedges of the rocky cliff face.   
  
Mikasa spoke into his chest. "I'm sorry. I know you're missing him."  
  
Eren just squeezed her tighter. She had helped him look around in town, the first couple days when Levi hadn't come back. It hadn't helped that everyone was so busy with the military battalion that had sprung up overnight, inundating the town with more traffic than it could bear. Nobody had seen Levi, not with the thousands of new customers. Nobody had kept their eye out for one lone person among the crowd. The army had left three days ago, heading south in one giant herd, passing by the small grouping of buildings by the ocean. Eren watched, sitting up in that lone tree by the house, horses, wagons, like a new river sweeping its way over the land, dragging on for hours.   
  
She had been so helpful. But there wasn't anything to help with. Because Levi didn't want to be found. He had left him.   
  
_Come back to me_, he heard the ocean whisper once more, inside his head.  
  
Mikasa unwrapped herself from his hold, patting him once on the chest before walking back to the house, slipping out of view again. The grass waved at him, dancing. A field mouse scurried over the rocks, darting over to the next patch of grass. Eren sat down as he stared where the mouse had disappeared, vision unfocused. 

  
  
He felt something bite at his ankle.   
  


  
The sun moved to another part of the sky.

  
  
There was something crawling on his forearm.

  
  
The clouds floated by, always followed by more clouds. 

  
His right shoulder burned from the sun.

  
  
_Where is..._?

  
  
The ground darkened as a cloud passing by, dark brown turning to black.

  
  
_Why did.._.?  
  
  
A gust of wind picked up, tangling in his hair, pulling it away from his back, into his face.   
  
  
_Eren._  
  
  
_I wonder if it's this cold in the water_, the thought came floating in idly.  
  
He froze, eyes widening, looking over the cliff, down to the waves.  
  
_In the water._  
  
_The water._  
  
It echoed over in his head, the word repeating, trying to stick. A lightning bolt ran through his mind, and he scrambled up, body protesting from the sudden movement, fists clenching, standing on the edge, looking down. _The water_.  
  
_What if...?_  
  
Eren took off, rocks digging into his feet, breath coming quicker than necessary as he sprinted back to the house.  
  
_I know, but what if he...?_  
  
He reached the house, grabbing the doorframe so he didn't skid past it, running inside. Nobody was there. _Okay. Okay_. He was heaving, thoughts all running, jumbling over each other.  
  
_I know, but he wouldn't tell me to leave, would he? He wouldn't get rid of me, if_ \- His entire body was vibrating from the thoughts that kept building, twisting over themselves.  
  
His nightstand still held the pearls, given to him by Levi. They were huge, beautiful things, almost flawless. Worth a good amount of money. Or could be made into a necklace, whatever she wanted, either way. He took those, and paused. _Necklace. Right_. Eren walked over to Mikasa's nightstand, carefully letting the pearls roll out of his palm into her drawer. The house key he had around his neck went next, rolling the string up before placing it next to the pearls.   
  
_Please don't be alone, Mikasa_.  
  
He closed the drawer again, staring at the small wooden furniture. She kept various little animals on top, all carved, selling some but saving the best. He touched his favorite, the little fox, little whiskers carved into its thin snout. They had seen it together, walking to Shiganshina, down south. She had accompanied him when he went to look for his dad, for signs that he might have still be alive.  
  
_Mikasa. Thank you. For everything._ He took a deep breath, glancing for the last time at the little animal.  
  
_I hope you forgive me one day for this._  
  
He grabbed a length of rope, slinging it over his shoulder, and left the house. The sunlight hit his eyes, blinding him, as he headed back to the cliff.  
  
_I'm sorry, Levi. I hope you understand_. Eren shielded his eyes from the sun, mind focused for the first time in a week._ I know you didn't want me to follow, but how can I not_? The memory filtered in of that day, a whole forever ago, of Levi looking away, blue eyes filled with such sadness.  
  
_'I don't suppose you want to run away with me.'_

_'Okay.'_

Eren searched around, finding almost immediately what he was looking for. He knelt by the large rock, tying one end of the rope around it, hands shaking.  
  
_Come back to me_, the ocean had whispered.  
  
The other end of the rope went around his waist. He knotted it tight, the rope digging into his bare skin, and with a grunt, picked up the rock, holding it close. The wind picked up once more, trying to drag him backwards. He felt the sharp rock of the cliff cut into his toes as he stood on the edge, looking down, watching the water rock back and forth at the edge of water and land, ebbing forward, backward, whitewash swirling chaotically, the water just below the surface black, teasing about the depth. It was probably a good ten meters deep here, the rock face going directly down to meet with the sandy bottom.  
  
Eren glanced back at the house, several hundred meters away. A couple people milling about outside. He shifted the rock from one arm to the other before looking back down, breaths coming fast.  
  
_Everyone. Forgive me._  
  
He gathered the rock to his chest, and stepped off the ledge.


	26. Chapter 26

He roamed his hands up and down her waist, up over smooth skin that dimpled where his fingers pressed in. There was a freckle below her right breast, and he traced it with a thumb, moving his way up and over with light fingers. He felt her shiver on top of him, fingernails digging into his chest between them. Tracing his hand over her before grabbing her breast roughly, the other hand holding her hip as he thrust up again, the prettiest moan ringing out next to his ear.

The woman shifted back, sitting up on him, brushing back red bangs from her face as she looked down through half-shut lids. Golden eyes were lit up even further with the morning light cutting a path across her face. 

Levi followed her, sitting up, holding her close to his own chest as he tugged at her neck with his teeth, relishing the small noises she made in response. 

His hands shifted back to her hips as she started to move, moaning low as she started moving up and down on his cock. He lowered his head, licking and then sucking on one of her nipples, fingers digging into her back. It was too excruciatingly slow. He grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her back down to him, and listened to her cry out as he fucked up into her, strong and fast.

"Levi!" She cried out, reaching in between them to rub her clit. He felt her breath hot and heavy in his ear, leaning her head next to his. He could hear his own breathing in the silence of the bedroom mixing with hers, with the slapping of skin against skin, the erotic wet sounds between them as he slipped in and out of her.

She pulled her head back, those golden eyes staring down at him, her hair in a curtain around both of them. Petra, the name sprung into his mind, the word carrying a million images of the same face with it. His mind ran off with the memories. Orange hair flying in the wind as snow whipped around them, lighting up the grey morning with flashes of white. Face red with rage as she threatened to use the spoon in her hand as a weapon on him when he pinched her ass in the kitchen. Other faces, too, from today, and a thousand others, looking how she was now, blushing, red lips parted and panting, pupils blown wide under heavy lids. He never got tired of looking at her.

Her breaths started ending with little hitches at the end, high noises that went straight to his groin. He could listen to those sounds for the rest of his life. Levi sped up, staring up into golden eyes.

"Levi, I'm - Levi, I, I -" Petra blabbered. He felt her tighten around him at the same time her eyes closed, eyebrows knotting together as that mouth opened. 

Levi couldn't hold back any longer, tempo stuttering as he thrust up into her, bringing her mouth down to his. Pleasure flooded his body, and Levi moaned into her mouth as he came inside her.

It made sense just to lay there, her hands threaded through his hair, Petra's pants subsiding as she laid on top of him, a heavy warmth in the chilly room. His blood was still buzzing, scalp tingling as she moved her fingers over it, running them back, over and over. 

He felt Petra shiver on top of him. "Come here," he said, tugging her to the side, to the part of the bed missing her. Levi sucked in a breath as she pulled off him, still sensitive. They both shifted, Levi grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back to his chest snugly, body fitting in like a puzzle piece next to his. 

"Warm," she sighed happily as he reached down to pull the covers over them both. He hummed in agreement, kissing her behind her ear, pulling her even closer, if it was possible. He rested his nose in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes to the gentle rhythm of her breathing. Levi never understood how she could be so soft; it almost made him angry, running his fingertips down her arm under the blankets. How dare you be so fragile.

He squeezed her arm as he growled in her ear, "You drive me crazy, woman."

Petra just giggled against him, blankets rustling as she rolled around, hiking a leg back over his hips as she straddled him again, hands on either side of his head as she sat there, looking down at him with a small smile on her face. Her eyes caught the morning light once more; he could see the ridges in her irises, mountains and canyons of gold, lines with deeper browns, some flecks of green in her left eye. They were kind, always kind, even when he fucked up. He reached up, chest tightening as he touching her cheek below those eyes.

"I wish I could have spent the rest of my life with you."

The smile fell from her face, eyes going sad. "Then why did you let me die?" 

A single tear, crimson red, trailed down her face, leaving a stain that wouldn't come off when he wiped his thumb over it.

"I couldn't save you." His own voice was quiet, like it almost didn't even come out. Pitiful sound for pitiful words.

"You should've known." Her mouth opened, releasing a flood of red, blood cascading down her face, running in a wave that swept down her chest, covering Levi with her blood.

"You should've known."

* * *

  
The stars were staring down, unforgiving, as Levi opened his eyes.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm sorry to anyone who's been waiting for another chapter. I decided to help everyone out by... Not writing lol. 
> 
> Okay, no, I did write, but I wrote this chapter because I wanted to take a break from the main story. If the random ass addition is annoying, I'll just put a link instead and put this somewhere else. But I like it. It's in the same universe so... Yeah. Anyway, I'll post this and I promise I have a couple chapters of the actual story coming out in the next couple days.
> 
> Thanks guys. I love everyone that has been reading this with me and posting such nice and lovely comments. Love you guys. Love that we can all love the same characters together.

"God - "

His hand slipped, rocks crumbling under fingers. Jean felt the sickening sensation of weightlessness as he fell. An audible crunch was heard when he slammed into the ground, legs crumpling. Jean tried sitting up, gasping and failing as his breath refused to return. _Fuck. Fuck. _

Jeans head swam as his lungs finally started working again, and he doubled over, wheezing. The panic of the fall slowing with his breath, he looked around. _Yep. Right into the fucking cave._ The edge of the hole he had just fallen into was a good seven meters up.

He shifted forward to stand up. Pain shot through his right ankle. _Sprained_.

"God fucking damn it, that hurts!" 

Jean tried once more, falling right back on his ass when the joint refused to bear any weight. _Nope, broke._ He rubbed the ankle, before slamming his fist into the ground. _There is no fucking way I'm stuck in a hole._ A cloud floated by above, the sky taunting him. The cave walls were rocky enough.

"I can totally climb that," he muttered. Grunting, Jean crawled forward on his hands and knees, thankful nobody could see him at the moment. "I look ridiculous."

The wall was cool and damp, moss and algae growing in patches on and around the clusters of root, rock and dirt. A small trickle of water was coming in from the left, sending droplets onto the sand by Jean's boots.

Standing and shoving his fingers into the crevasses of the wall, he lifted himself up, fitting his right foot into the handhold, intending to push himself up. White lightning spread from his foot to his head, almost passing out right then and there. The ground rushed up to meet him once more.

"Fuck!" He screamed. "I'm not fucking dying down here!"

"Hello?"

Jean spun, coming to his hands and knees as he squared off with the voice; it had come from behind, in the dark of the cave. Nothing. 

He yelled into the black. "Who's there! Show yourself!"

A form stepped into the light a couple meters away. The voice belonged to a man, tall and pale, dressed in normal clothes. He could've passed for a regular human, except for the eyes. They were completely black, two empty holes in an otherwise fine face. Evil.

Vampire.

Jean's fists rose, still on his knees. _Why didn't I bring my knife_, he thought. _Well, I didn't expect to fucking fall in, did I?_

He shouted over to the vampire, "Dont come any closer! I'm... I'm armed!"

"With what?" The vampire smiled, black eyes crinkling. It would have been a genuine smile if it hadn't seemed so threatening.

"With my fucking fists, dumbass!"

The vampire actually laughed, the soft sound bouncing around in the cave. "You're armed with your arms?" The vampire stopped for a second, frowning. "You shouldn't be using that ankle. It doesn't sound good."

"Don't tell me what to do, demon." Jean moved anyway, trying to stand, before sliding down the wall, sitting roughly on the sand. It was useless. The stupid foot wasn't going to work. _Maybe he can come closer and I can make him boost me out of here. Yeah, right. Might as well climb out by lassoing the moon._

The vampire was just standing there, staring at him. Jean nodded over at him. "What are you doing? Are you going to try and kill me, or what?"

Black eyebrows rose. "Why would I do that?"

"Oh, so you're stupid as well as ugly?" _Why wasn't he coming any closer? I looked pathetic. He couldn't ask for an easier meal._

"I'm... ugly?" Black eyes wavered as a couple tears spilled out, running over a pale freckled face. The vampire turned around, his hands over his face. "I didn't know. I'm sorry if I offend you."

_What is wrong with him_? "Of... Of course you offend me. " He had to make it leave before it attacked him. _Even better I happened to meet one that was a little cracke_d. "Now... go away!"

The vampire wiped his eyes, turning back to Jean, button nose bright red. "I'm sorry, but I still want to help you." The tall man stepped toward Jean slowly, almost sluggishly. 

_Alright, fight it is_. Jean raised his fists again, rolling onto his knees. 

"You're hurt, I can help -"

"Don't come near me!" Jean swung. The vampire leaned back; his fist missed, the momentum pulling Jean forward. He landed hard on his face.

"Oh my God!" 

Hands came under his shoulders, pulling him back on his knees. _This is it. He's going to kill me_. Jean shut his eyes, fists clenched.

"Are you okay?" 

He felt hand brushing off sand from his shirt. He cracked an eye open. The vampire was sitting there on his own knees, eyes wide. Jean could see rings of white in the very edges, a thin ring.

_Why... is he not eating me?_

"I'd be better if you backed the fuck up."

The vampire didn't go far, just sat back on the ground, crossing long legs in front. Jean frowned, hoping he'd just leave him alone. He wiped his face, coming away with blood from his nose. _Great_. Jean glanced at the vampire as he wiped his hand on his pants; the pale man sat there looking concerned.

"What? Never seen blood before?"

"I just wish you'd let me help you. If you follow me back to -"

"Like hell I'm following you anywhere."

"Even to leave?"

... True, he'd rather not die down here. _And even if he was to kill me, it'd probably be better to die of murder than of starvation... Still._

"Who are you?"

The vampire had stood then, wiping the sand off his pants. He smiled warmly down at Jean, offering a hand up. "I'm Marco."

* * *

  
They had left the light a long time ago, Jean blind as a bat, Marco's arm holding him around his shoulders, a hand under his arm to guide him. The vampire, helping him walk through a cave. _Great. Why was he keeping me alive?_

The only sounds in the cave were their feet, shuffling along over wet rock, Jean's injured foot sliding over the ground as he limped along. There were drops of water that fell a ways away; or was it right beside him? The darkness was thick, almost like a blanket that wrapped around his ears and eyes. It was suffocating. 

"Where are we going?" Jean whispered.

"To meet my family," the vampire replied, matching his volume.

"Oh, so that's why you're keeping me alive? So they can eat me, too?" _Makes sense._ "Make a whole big meal out of me?"

"Duck, please." The vampire pushed Jean's head down. He felt cool rock scrape gently against his neck as he slouched low, still being towed by Marco's arm.

_So he wants me as uninjured as possible before I die. How thoughtful_. Jean straightened with the arm around him, planning his escape. It was stupid to have come into a cave, no light, no visibility, with the predator having a grip on him for good measure. _God, I am so stupid_. He felt more blood drip from his nose, and he wiped a hand across his face. _Damn thing won't stop bleeding._

The vampire's voice came softly from the darkness beside him. "I wish you didn't think I'm going to eat you."

"Yeah? And what am I supposed to think of you?" _Creepy, living in a fucking cave. With those eyes_. He shuddered slightly, the memory of black eyes staring down at him.

"Hopefully, a friend."

"Yeah, I got friends, buddy, and they don't fucking look like you."

"I'm sorry." Marco's voice was even quieter. Sad. "I didn't realize I was so horrifying."

_What, am I supposed to feel sorry for you?_ Jean's voice carried louder in the cave, echoing off close walls. "That's what happens when you make a deal with the devil. He fucks you over."

Marco stayed silent, carrying Jean forward. He shuffled along, keeping up easily with Marco, who seemed in no particular hurry to make his way through the cave. _Maybe those freak eyes have something to do with him being able to see his way through the pitch black._ Jean stumbled a couple times as they walked, tripping over the uneven surface, that strong arm holding him upright the entire time.

Jean's feet hit a solid surface. "They're some stairs here." The vampire's arm slipped away from him, a cool hand grabbing his. Jean jerked his own away. 

"What are you doing?"

There was a small sigh. "I wanted to help you up." A pause. "Can I?"

Jean didn't say anything, and he felt the hand take his again. He had to take the stairs one at a time, limping his way up, wincing every time he had to rest weight on his right foot. He couldn't help but groan audibly a couple times, grabbing the supporting hand harder. _God, that feels like death_. The pain had settled into a constant, severe throbbing, keeping time with his heartbeat.

As Jean climbed the stairs, something came into view. Thousands of little pinpricks of light, a sea of dull blue came into view, near a high ceiling. They reached the top of the steps, Jean staring up in marvel, mouth hanging open. It was like an ocean of little blue stars, like looking at the sky on a cold winter night. 

"Glow worms," Marco whispered into his ear.

"They're..." Jean's reply died out. It was beautiful. _Gorgeous_. The gentle illumination coming from the worms lit the ceiling of the cave in a low light, ridges and spires hanging down, casting deep lines of shadow. It was hard to tell the distance without any obvious markers; it could be five meters away, or twenty. The walls curved in a rough circle, meeting the floor a ways off, hidden mostly by various stalagmites and pillars. Jean limped over to one a couple feet away, running a hand over the slippery ridges. How did the rock come to be this way, growing like trees. It was unlike anything he had ever seen. The pillar rose to meet the ceiling, thin, finger-like sheets of rock hanging off small cliffs on the pillar every couple meters. It was like someone had come down here to sculpt out the entire area. 

"Come with me." The arm wrapped once more around him, tugging him down a smooth path between thin spires, Jean still looking back in awe at the rock. He whipped his head around, finally able to see at least the outline of the vampire. He looked straight ahead, picking out the path with ease, glancing over a couple times at Jean before looking ahead again.

"Marco?" 

Another voice rang out in the dead quiet of the cavern; female. Jean looked around, noticing a black form walking from around a spire. The form walked up to them, Jean unable to see them clearly, but noticing long hair on the shorter person.

"Marco, who is this?"

Marco's arm left him, Marco guiding him with hands on both shoulders to the column of rock so that he could lean on it. "He fell into the northern opening, Mom."

"Oh, you poor thing!" Jean felt cool hands cup both cheeks. "And you broke your ankle, too! Terrible luck."

He pulled his head away from her hands. "How did you -"

"Marco! How could you just make him walk all the way here on that leg! It may not set right. You should've come to get me."

Marco reached up, rubbing his neck. "Sorry, Mama."

_I am... so confused_. Jean let himself be guided by firm hands down some steps and over to a smooth, round rock, the hands pushing him to sit down. "Sit here, and I'll be back."

The form slipped into a hole in the rock, small noises coming from within. Jean tried looking around, trying to get his bearings in the cavern. The rock face behind him was below the path he had come in on, the stairway to his right. The entire place seemed to have three tiers, or levels, all broken up by giant columns, some skinny and smooth, some giant monstrous waterfalls of liquid-flowing rock. All lit in the dim blue glow from the ceiling. He glanced back to his left, the small indent under the previous path a black hole in the meager lighting. 

The form stepped back out, walking slowly over to him before cradling his elbow from underneath. "Please. Over here." Jean was guided into the cave within the cave, the light not reaching inside. He felt his way blindly, still being guided by the small hand. 

"Where are we going?"

"Please lay down. I'll get a pillow for the swelling."

"Lady, if you think I'm gonna just -"

"Lay down," she commanded, her voice hard. She rounded the corner outside, muttering to herself.

"Jesus, fine." _Nothing else to do anyway. Not like I can get out of this hole without help_. He dumped himself down to the ground, surprised at the softness beneath him. His fingers dug into fine down blankets, a spongy surface serving as mattress.

"Is it comfortable?" Marco had followed him in, silent as the surrounding dark. 

"Sure." It was actually more comfortable than his own bed, not that he was about to tell his kidnappers that. "Why the hell do y'all talk about my ankle being broken?"

"Anyone can hear it. The bones shift and creak over each other."

"So, what?" Jean rested his head on his elbows, relaxing back. "You guys got like bat hearing?"

"Oh." Marco's laughter was quiet in the dark. "I wish we were so lucky. They can see with their ears."

"Really?" Jean couldn't help himself. _How did that work?_

"Yeah. We actually have a group that lives in one of the southern caves."

"I've never seen one." 

He heard the vampire turn to him. "Seriously? Never?" Jean didn't answer. "Well, I'll have to bring you."

"No, Marco darling." His mother was back, the black shape settling by his feet. "He can't go into the bat caves."

"Why not?" Marco replied.

"He isn't immune to the bats like us. He could get really sick." 

A quiet, "Oh." 

Jean felt fingers prodding at his ankle, and he hissed, flinching from the pain.

"I'm sorry, but it needs support. And I'm sorry, but this might hurt a bit."

"What are you going to do to -" Jean sucked in the rest of his words, too shocked to cry out as hands yanked on the broken ankle, instead keeping from fainting on the bed then and there.

"Ow!" He yelled out, jerking his leg toward his chest. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"I'm sorry, dear, but it had to be straightened out."

"You aren't going to eat me, so you settle with torturing me instead?"

"Oh, relax." A hand swatted gently at his thigh. "We're not going to eat you, silly."

Jean laid his leg back out, ankle still screaming. "Well why'd you bring me here then?"

"You were the one who fell into our home," Marco instead replied. 

_Well... that's true. But still._ The woman was now wrapping something rather tight around the broken ankle, and he hissed out. A hand reached behind his neck, cooling down his heated neck, bringing pinpricks of relief. Jean leaned back, relaxing back down into the soft bedding, left fist clenching and unclenching from the pain. He looked up, noticing Marco leaning over him, staring down at him; Jean closed his eyes.

"So, do y'all live here or something?" he spoke to both of them, to neither of them.

"Well," the woman replied, the words coming slow, hesitant. "Yes."

"Why?"

Marco's hand slipped out from under his neck; the woman chuckled. "What do you mean, why?" she asked.

Jean lifted his arms, gesturing around. "Why live down in a cave?"

"Why do you live where you live?"

Jean flustered. "That's... that's a stupid question." _What... Why..._ He's always lived near Sina, even after he left his hometown. "That's different."

"Hmm." The woman didn't press further. "Well, to answer your question, I believe the answer is, 'Where else would we go?'"

Jean snorted. "Somewhere with light, for starters." _Weird ass vampires, living in the fucking ground._

No more words were spoken, the shift of fabric being wrapped around his ankle whispering in the dark quiet. Jean heard Marco stand, leaving quietly. His mind blanked as he gazed out at the lights far above, the dots hanging motionless in the still air.

"Well, you have a little light," he whispered to the dots.

She hummed in agreement. "It must be very dark in here for you."

"So... How long have y'all lived down here?"

"This is the only home Marco has known." She paused, and when she spoke again, her voice sounded a touch happier. "I actually came here to live with Godric after we married. Marco was born a couple years after. It's a nice home, if a little smaller than I'm used to." A hand patted his leg. "Thank you for asking. It's very kind."

Marco walked back in, sitting again by Jean's head. "Are you thirsty?"

Jean smacked his lips together. He hadn't even realized. "Oh, man, yes." He reached out toward Marco, feeling a cup press into his hands. "For a vampire, you guys are alright." 

Marco's fingers didn't leave the cup, instead gripping harder, Jean trying to pull it away with no success.

"Wait... what did you just call us? What's a vampire?"

_Seriously?_ "It's you guys. With the eyes and the teeth and the ears and the... bat, flying thing. Eating people, all that shit."

The cup was let go, and Jean brought it to his lips, draining it heartily. It was delicious after the hours of the mushroom picking he had done near the top of Razor Cave, before he had slipped. _God damn it, this whole day was fucking annoying._

"But... we don't eat people. I keep trying to tell you -"

"Marco," the woman sighed.

"But we don't! I haven't even seen a human until now."

"Because of this," she replied, voice resigned. "I've told you already, humans don't want anything to do with us. You need to stop this."

Jean heard Marco sigh quietly. "Okay, Mama."

The woman patted his thigh once again. "Rest, and we'll take you out once it's darker outside."

He tried sitting up, struggling to his elbows. "Why not now?"

"How do you plan on getting home? Hmm?"

"I walked here, I can walk back."

She pulled his toe; Jean yelped. "Not on that foot, you won't. Not without help. I'll bring you home once it's dark."

"I'll do it." Marco interrupted suddenly.

"Marco..."

"Mom, I got this. I'll be okay."

Her outline moved against the background lighting. "Don't go wandering off again."

"I won't. I promise."

* * *

They emerged from the ground, Jean stopping to stretch out his arms. The splint Marco's mother had wrapped around his foot was actually doing a great job, but he still couldn't put much pressure on the damn thing, and ended up hobbling like an old man, arm wrapped around Marco's broad shoulders. _Damn vampire, being taller than me_. Jean rubbed his aching bicep, looking up at the night sky._ I was down there for a while._ The clouds were blinking stars out of existence, one by one, only for them to reemerge, bright, unfazed.

"Where do you live?" 

Jean laughed, turning to Marco. His outline cut a hole in the moonlight reflecting off the ocean. "As if I'm gonna tell you. Probably going to come back and eat me later."

"You are very stubborn with the 'eating people' idea, aren't you?"

Jean shrugged, motioning for Marco to come closer. He grabbed the shoulder again, leading them both north. "I'm just a consistent guy." 

They walked for a while, not speaking. _Man, it was good to hear things properly again. _Below ground, the sounds twisted and echoed off each other, making things impossible to pinpoint. Some things sounded miles away, some sounds echoed right near his head.

"I had asked your mom why you lived down in the caves."

"I... don't understand."

"I just mean... Well, yeah. Exactly that. Why do y'all live down there?"

Marco was silent for a moment. Jean listened to the trees brush and sway, leaves rustling with the gentle wind. 

"My mama told me a story once. My great grandfather lived a ways south of us, in Yawmouth."

"Yawmouth?" Jean interrupted. "There isn't a town named Yawmouth."

"You haven't heard of it? It's a great city, one of our largest. Nearly 600 people live there. The caves span miles. Oh," Marco gestured, empty hand sweeping out in front of him, "and there are so many beautiful marble and obsidian sculptures there, really, the city is famous for its art. We go every winter for the festival."

"Nope." Jean almost felt jealous. _I want to see art sculptures now..._

"Actually, we'll be going in a couple weeks." Marco hesitated a beat. "You should come."

"... Sounds stupid." Jean shrugged. "Who cares about rocks?" _Why did I say that?_ Then - _No, it's probably a trick, anyway. _

"Oh. Well, um, as I was saying." Marco cleared his throat. "He lived in Yawmouth, and he noticed that the surface city nearby was, um, well, dumping bodies out into the ocean by the cartload." Marco gripped Jean's side as he spoke, guiding him around a tree root.

"I was told he could hear the songs of the dead for months. People kept dying." Marco turned, glanced at him, close enough that Jean could make out those black eyes even in the dark. Marco looked back at the path. "He couldn't sit there without doing something."

"Why not? It's not his problem." Jean picked at a tooth with his free hand. "Someone probably just shit in the well. That's how my town all died."

Marco looked at him again. His voice was soft as he replied, "Jean. I'm sorry."

Jean let out a 'tsk', anger flaring up. "Who cares? It was a nowhere, peasant town anyway. I'm glad I got out."

"It still hurts to see family die."

Jean jerked away, stumbling into a tree. "Do I have to fucking kill you just so you stop talking? Huh?" He was breathing hard, fists up. _Who was.. who was he to.. _

Marco's black shadow moved closer. "I'm sorry. Let's just... get you home. I won't talk about painful things. I'm sorry."

They walked in silence, threading through the forest, pillars of night. Marco kept a steady arm on him, keeping Jean from tripping more than once. They both started shivering at some point, the winter night seeping through Jean's thin hemp shirt. The wind had picked up in the evening, the teasing foreplay of a gale that was sure to be in full swing by tomorrow. It was like this they reached Jean's house an hour later.

Marco grabbed Jean's elbow as he stood at his door, beyond ready to collapse into bed.

"I actually did come for something. I'm sorry, I should have asked you earlier." Marco let go, keeping his arms straight at his side. The moon had risen, giving Jean a last glimpse at the vampire.

"Oh, yeah?" he slurred. Jean's eyes were closing on their own; he swayed on his feet.

Marco seemed to be gathering courage for whatever his request was. "I..." Marco exhaled, his request coming out in one rushed jumble. "I want you to bring me to your human city."

Jean raised his eyebrows. "... That's it?" _Bed. Beeeeeeeeeed._

A nervous laugh whispered out in the dark. "Would... would you? Really? I've always wanted to go, and I just, well," Marco laughed once again. "I mean, it would mean a lot to me if -"

Jean waved his hand, the other already on the door. He could head his bed calling to him. It sounded so sexy, beautiful. Whatever those other words are. "Yeah, sure, sure. We'll go whenever you want." He couldn't wait any longer, and went inside, looking at his bed in the corner, almost tearing up. _Oh, God, it looks even better than I imagined it._ He hit his bed face first.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, alright. Real story now.

Dark.  
  
It was just... darkness. Swirling nothingness was all Eren saw.  
  
But the noises, they were everywhere. Beeping sounds, keeping time with the blood rushing in his ears. Steps echoed off a hard ground, sounding more like the clipped hoof beats of the horses on main. Far-off rumbling, almost inaudible, would fade in and out, replaced sometimes by a nearer hum, the latter almost swallowing the conversation that had started next to him.  
  
"I can't take this anymore. I just want to know when he'll wake up." A woman's voice. She was... crying? Or had been crying? The words came out rough, unstable.   
  
"Ms. Reiss, I understand." Another woman's voice. More assured, calming. Shuffling of fabric. "All we can do is wait. Head trauma takes time to heal, and the swelling still hasn't gone down. If you want to leave, take care of some stuff... I promise I'll call you if anything changes."  
  
"No, I... I'm fine."  
  
Silence again. Eren felt real, and unreal. A mind without a body. Caught in some in between place. He floated there, in that void, drifting in and out, the sounds echoing inside his own mind, coalescing into a dull chaos.  
  
"Eren."  
  
The woman's voice was back again, close this time. It sounded familiar. Calming. So close he could almost feel the woman's breath on his neck.  
  
"Come back to me."  
  


* * *

  
  
_Hey!_  
  
The voice carried inside his head, echoing, bouncing around, pulling him from the darkness, into reality. Eren opened his eyes, a blue sky hazy, far above him, soft sand beneath. He dug his fingers into it, the sand, curiously enough, floating a bit before settling back down over his hand. His head spun as he looked around, the motion dizzying. _Did I hit my head again?_ The sky, there was something off about it... Oh. Underwater. He was underwater.   
  
Adrenaline jolted through his spine as the realization hit him. _Don't breathe_. His body, innately stubborn, decided to do just that; he spasmed, hands wrapping reflexively around his throat as he inhaled water, lungs lighting on fire from the seawater. He clawed at his neck, throat closing painfully, trapping the water inside, raw panic flooding every part of his body.  
  
_No, not like that._  
  
Strong hands grabbed under his armpits, drawing him up toward the light. They broke the surface; Eren started coughing up the water, gasping for air. It felt like he was hacking up knives from his lungs. Stomach spasming from the effort of expulsion, Eren vomited, body pushing out everything in the effort of keeping him alive.  
  
"Oh. Oh, ah, okay." The arms pulled him to his left a couple feet, stopping again once out of range of the vomit pool. Tears were streaming down Eren's face, and he wiped a hand over it, blinking as he looked to the owner of the arms.  
  
"Hanji," Eren croaked out, throat raw.  
  
She gave him a sad smile, still holding him under the arms. "Hey there."  
  
"Oh, Hanji." Tears started falling again as he hugged her tight. "I am so glad to see you."  
  
"Yeah?" Her voice was rough by his ear as she hugged him back. "Well, we couldn't have you tied to that stupid rock forever, could we?"  
  
Eren held her at arm's length. "Did it...? Am I...?" She cocked an eyebrow. Eren held his breath, dipping his head below the surface. _It worked_. He jerked his head above the water, repeating it out loud. "It worked!"   
  
Hanji stared at him with wide eyes, and he shook her by the shoulders, laughing as he looked down again. A massive tail mirroring Hanji's was attached to him, replacing legs. Pale green scales were scattered around the skin where hips had been, growing darker as they receded downward, ending in a massive fluke that twitched, sending up an altogether foreign sensation. _That's... different._ He tried moving his tail, and bobbed out of the water, even just a flick at the end propelling him upwards.  
  
"You alright there, buddy?" Hanji had the same surprised expression as he glanced back at her. His arms caught his attention, and he lifted one, rotating it to the side. _Just like Levi. Well, almost._ An ivory white bone, long and thin, was exposed on the far side of his arm, stretching from his wrist to his elbow. It was jagged, with small bits of bloody tissue hanging from the base. _That should've hurt, I guess._   
  
"I mean, I knew this was going to happen, but it's still... you know..." He looked at her again, smiling wide. _It fucking worked_. Eren hugged Hanji again, laughing.   
  
She just patted his back.  
  
Eren pulled away once more. "Hey! Tell me how this works." He looked at the other arm; yep, it was the same. Holding his hands out, he noticed thin, sharp claws on the ends of each finger, the skin fading from bronze to white around the base of the nails, the nails themselves as pale as bleached bone. _Hmm. That's different, too._   
  
"Well, um -"  
  
"Oh, wait!" He felt gently around his neck; sure enough, he felt the tender, exposed flesh of gills on either side of his neck. _It's just the same as his was_. His face felt like it would break if he kept smiling this much. _It was going to be alright._  
  
"How do I use these?" Without waiting for an answer, he held his breath, dipping below the surface of the water, feeling for some sort of action or sensation. He waited... and waited. Nothing was happening. Eren looked around, twirling in place. The reflex to breathe was still there, but wasn't accompanied by the buzzing in his head from the lack of air. He didn't feel like he was suffocating in the slightest. It was only psychologically disconcerting, the lack of breathing; like feeling your heart stop. He shrugged mentally. _Guess I'll have to get used to it, though._  
  
Eren popped back above water. "That's fucking weird."  
  
Hanji scratched behind her head. "Yeah. I mean..." She trailed off, looking behind Eren. He followed her gaze; they were still close to shore, the cliff face rising a couple dozen meters above the waterline. This had been the nearest part of the shore he knew that was both deep enough and didn't have any rocks near the surface. Wouldn't want to have accidentally died for real.  
  
"Eren." He turned back around; Hanji looked confused. "And don't get me wrong, I am very encouraging of people wanting to branch out and try new things. But I have to ask: why did you kill yourself?"  
  
"Honestly, I should've done it sooner." He laughed with excitement, inhaling before diving down in the water. It was like he had done this his whole life, his tail feeling no less of a part of his body than his legs had, or his arms. It was just another extension; he floated down, contracting the muscles back and forth, his tail gliding through the water behind. Eren didn't realize the scaled skin would be as sensitive as the rest of his body, feeling the water rush past. It was amazing. Levi had lied to him. This wasn't a curse, it was... incredible. Eren felt giddy, twisting in the water, not even feeling the need to breathe._ I'm never leaving the water again. _Levi had some explaining to do, keeping this to himself.  
  
_Eren?_  
  
He looked down the length of his body, up toward the surface. Hanji had followed him, hands spread out slightly to the side for stabilization._ I wish I could ask her how she does that._ He tried mimicking the way she held her hands, tail flexing as he swam upward again. It did seem more stable, as he darted even faster through the water.  
  
_You know you **can** ask me stuff, right?_ The words rushed past him, tinged with humor.   
  
_Fuck_. Eren opened his mouth, letting in salt water. _I forgot._ The water wasn't as salty as it had been; almost like freshwater? He could barely taste the salt. _Interesting._ He closed his mouth, the water rushing down his throat, feeling his gills flare.   
  
_Um... what was that?_ he thought, looking at Hanji. Her tail, a far darker green than his own, almost nearing black at the end, waved gracefully below as she idled in the water a couple feet away, holding one elbow with a hand, the other wrapped around her waist. At his words, she swam to him, tapping a long nail near his gills, eyes widening.  
  
_Isn't it wonderful?_ She smiled, brown eyes widening to extreme levels. _See, if you watch the fish, they have to keep their mouths open, allowing for the water to come through, leaving through their gills as they push the water, by opening and closing their mouths. Now, when you look at sharks, they simply keep their mouths open!_ Hanji swam to one side, wrapping Eren's arm around her own, leading him north. It took just a bare minimum of energy to float through the water as they did, his new body streamlined, tail pushing him forward with ease.   
  
She held up a finger as she looked at him, expectant. _Now. Why do you think that is?_  
  
_Um.._. Eren thought._ I don't know._  
  
_I would be very surprised if you did! Now, let me hypothesize: what would happen if a shark stopped swimming?_  
  
_I... I don't know._  
  
_They drown!_ Hanji's laugh echoed through the water, somehow even louder than her own mental voice. She looked to him, face serious, mood switching. _Shark baiting is no joke, Eren. It takes skill, nerves of steel, an unflinching personality._  
  
Eren jerked backward just as Hanji swung her head at his, nearly headbutting him. She laughed again, slapping him hard across the back.   
  
_Ah! We'll give you nerves of steel soon enough!_  
  
_Still crazy,_ he thought.  
  
Hanji wrapped her arm in Eren's again, swimming once more. They had already moved quite a ways away from his old home, leading him past familiar oyster beds, the ones he used to dive with Levi. He glanced up, the cliff having tapered down, now just a short arms reach from the waterline. Where they had met, when Levi was still a mer, so many times.  
  
_I get to see him again_. His heart started beating faster. _Wait._ Eren was hit with a realization. _What if he doesn't want to see me again?_  
  
_No. That's... that's ridiculous_. Eren shoved down a twisting feeling in his gut. _That's... it's not like he doesn't want to see me again. Right?_  
  
_Eren?_ Hanji had stopped once again.  
  
_Yeah?_  
  
She lifted an eyebrow. _Who are you hoping to find down here?_  
  
_Levi, obviously._  
  
_I..._ Hanji froze, mouth twitching in a corner. Several moments passed as she stared at him, mouth hanging open. A small buzzing sound, a dull vibration was rolling through the water from her direction.  
  
_Huh?_  
  
_I, um..._ She flexed her hands as she stared down at the seabed, eyes wide and unfocused, fingers flexing out, white with strain. An eyebrow twitched. _I don't get it._  
  
What? Why was she upset? Eren watched as her hands clenched into fists, trails of blood seeping out between fingers, razor nails cutting into her palms.   
  
_I don't get the joke, Eren._ Hanji looked back at him, eyes seeing right through him. The noiseless sound she was somehow emanating was even louder, settling in his bones.   
  
_Hanji, I didn't... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anyone_. Eren was so confused. _I obviously don't have to see him today, I'm sure he's probably busy. I'll just, um -_  
  
The other mer bolted at him, too fast to even see, Hanji gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin like daggers. She shook him, the sound that he now realized was pure pain shouting into all corners of his mind. Hanji looked horrified as she yelled at him,_ What is happening?! _  
  
_I don't know!_ He shouted back, over the mental barrage of noise. _He was with me and then just left without saying anything, and I want to know why!_  
  
Suddenly, the noise stopped. The nails left his skin as Hanji floated there, mouth opening. Closing again. Went to point at him before snatching the hand back over her mouth. Hanji stayed that way for a minute, just staring at him.  
  
_... Okay, that's starting to get creepy._  
  
She lifted the hand away, placing both on top of her head. _I - okay. Okay._ Hanji twirled in place, slowly turning. _So. Okay. So Levi went onto land and... Didn't die. That's..._ She started rubbing her belly, tapping the fingers on her other hand on her head. _That's good_. She glanced at him, still thinking, before suddenly breaking out into a wide grin.   
  
Eren nearly passed out as Hanji rushed in, squeezing him tight. _Eren! Eren, that son of a bitch is still alive!_ Her laughter was deafening. _I knew that bastard couldn't be killed._  
  
Hanji was still vibrating even as she let go, brown eyes looking him over. _Well, where is he?_ She looked over his shoulder, then around in the water, as if she expected Levi to swim out of the water, yelling, "Surprise!"  
  
_Hanji._ She turned around in place. _Hanji, look at me. Levi isn't here? He didn't... come back?_  
  
Her tail twitched; her face was suddenly inches from his, looking him over, confused. _No, of course not. I'd know if that horse's ass was back in the water._ She frowned, gripping his shoulders again._ I'm... I'm confused. Wait. Okay. Wait._ She absently shook Eren, looking behind him. _So. You think... Levi came down here because...?_  
  
_Because he planned on coming back for you and everyone else. _  
  
_Oh, what a sweet fucking romantic._ Hanji put her hand to her cheek. _Always been like that, the sappy cunt._  
  
_Um... sure. Well, he's been gone for a week, and..._  
  
_And you thought he left you to come be with his actual true love?_ Hanji smiled at him then, winking. She then frowned, looking past him again. _So he's alive. But if he's not with you, and he's not here... Where is he?_


End file.
